You know exactly how it is. We've all be here so many times ot the point where I'm thinking about starting a separate blog for the new year - one that is focused on dieting issues, since alot of people of I've seen around church seem to be among the beautiful people already and don't have any struggles with that. I could be wrong. But that's how it seems to me.
I'm pretty angry about alot of this stuff and it seems like a separate blog would be a better way to deal with that. I'm sort of sick of people at church assuming that I'm fat because I eat total shit all the time. I actually had some guy insisting that God had called him to keep me accountable for my diet. Grrrr. That was the end of our friendship.
Seriously, do you ever wonder why God would allow people to have disease and discomfort? I just don't understand why my metabolism doesn't work like everyone else's. I wonder if I shouldn't post what I eat just so everyone knows. I'm pretty tired of doctors assuming the same. Every time I go for an appointment, I feel judged. It's just not fair in a way that I just can't figure out. Sometimes wanting something really badly and creating space for it in your life still doesn't make it happen. The Secret can suck it.
So this year, I'm just biting the bullet and getting away from it all for a few days to see if I can get a grip on my health issues and some perspective on my life and current spiritual issues. In college and high school, it seems like retreats are par for the course so that they can influence you to a certain outcome. So, sometimes you have to just make one up for yourself. I just don't know what I want to influence myself to do.
So, now it's a whole new year. Will it be renewed and refreshed me?
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