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Sunday, May 31, 2015

The great summer bikini-ready body coverup (modesty, fat, or skin cancer)

That's not Gidget's mother!
You don't have to be a religious modesty nut to want to stay covered up at the beach.  What if you're more of a sun hater than a sun bather?  Nowadays there are more options for sun haters than ever. If you ever caught episodes of Gidget starring a youthful Sally Field, she came with a sidekick called LaRue who used coverups, blankets, hats and stayed under a protective umbrella. I used to be more of a Gidget.  What went wrong???

My quest to find modest beach wear is mostly about feeling totally embarrassed about my body holding extra poundage that I can't get rid of in my current state of health.  Injuries and pain forced me to give up my gym membership and my habit of walking a few miles a day, and hours of dance classes & going out dancing with friends.  Add hypothyroid and it's basically GAME OVER.  Well, fearing overexposure from my early years of swimming all day without sunscreen, and I'm your typical Christian hypochondriac. 

If I did have that kind of body, I might be most comfortable in the kind of suit that stays on while I engage in active pursuits, the maillot or one piece.  I was on swim team in high school.  Let's just say, those kind of suits are designed to STAY ON, but look pretty cool.  But I will admit to wearing a few daring suits...one pieces, anyway.  Compared to suits of the 1990s and 200s, my suits weren't really all that crazy.

Resorting to some of these abhorrent "modesty" suits which outright punish the female body isn't going to score any points.  I find Islamic swimwear or the "Burkini" with detachable hajib in leopard more appealing than what the Duggars of the now-cancelled "19 Kids & Counting" push called WholesomeWear.  In fact, the Islamic swimwear is less expensive at $42.99 than the Duggar's pick at $89 to $119 if you want some kind of slimming features. Modesty doesn't equal ugly! 

My unfortunate, untanned, sun-burn prone, sun-hating, skin-cancer-fearing body will be purchasing a swim  rash guard and swim shorts.  Or maybe swim capris - mainly because I hate buying things that I can only wear at the beach once or twice.  I've got a drawer filled with old swim suits that I feel stuck with.  It seems like a waste!  Swim capris could be used for yoga when I can finally do that again.

Here are some of my fashionable picks:

Jen Clothing - I've highlighted a few pieces from their modest swimwear collection.  They're also retro and have the LDS church stamp of approval.

Ester Williams - swimwear for the retro-inspired girl, named for the swimmer/actress.  Fashionable, old-fashioned and slightly more modest that the modern.

Swim Rashguards - Covered up, and yet totally cool!  Major surfer brands for juniors!

Swim Dresses - a variety of makers! Obviously, Speedo takes me back to my youth!

Swim capris - swimmer athletes use these while training to create more drag.  You use them as a year-round yoga pant and to keep the sand out of your chonies while you chase the kids around.  Minimizes sunburn.  I also like the swim skort.

Swim skirts - some short and flirty options for modesty, shaving haters, and cottage cheesey thighs.

Land's End - a huge number of options - starting with the Swim Tee or Rash Guard.  Scroll to the bottom for additional matches.

Well, this is enough to get you started if you hadn't thought about it before.

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kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...
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kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...
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kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...


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(thus, my ethereal nomenclature) -
so I actually know God exists:
He rewards those who HONOR n RESPECT
Him and strive to follow His Laws;
for those who wanna know what
Seventh-Heaven holds for your
indelible, magnificent soul whom
God has so carefully crafted -
and if you're not too concerned
with WWIII and N. Korea,
you better follow us:

Find-out what RCIA means and join.
God bless your indelible soul.