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Thursday, June 12, 2014

I got married on the cheap

So friends, it happened.  My fiance and I got married.  Instead of going with a big wedding, we decided to go to the courthouse.  It was by appointment, hit all the legal points, and still made us feel special.  It also qualifies as one of the smallest weddings ever.  It was my husband, myself, my best friend from when I was 2, my parents, and his mom.

I guess after looking at how much everything could cost us, we decided to be practical and go cheap.  His mom got me a bouquet.  My dress was under $100.  Dinner was the most expensive part, as we went to a nice restaurant.

There were so many reasons to go this route of marriage without the expense.  We ended up having money for a down payment on a house.  I got a nicer ring.  And we didn't have to worry about planning the ceremony or managing the guest list.  We didn't have to worry about where people would sit or who would come, or who wouldn't be talking to each other.  My goodness, weddings are stressful.

Yes, sometimes I think I missed out on gifts and all the fun that also goes with the bigger wedding.  But we did a tour where everyone met each other and it was fun because we still didn't have to worry about the guest list.  Oh no, now everyone is going to copy us and want a smaller wedding.

Oh and about gifts...when you have actually been living on your own for many years, you actually have a great many of the things that you would get from a wedding.  Toasters, coffee makers, and the like were intended to help a young couple get on their feet and make up for the cost of the wedding and the dinner.  It's a losing proposition nowadays.  The people giving the gifts often pay for travel, hotel, and a gift in addition.  Wow, weddings are expensive - not just for the couple's family, but for everyone.  We just skipped it and got on with actually being married.

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12 comments:

Elyssa said...

Wow! I so wish I'd gone that route when I got married! It would have saved so much headache and stress and heartbreaks and tears,etc etc...!

SavvyD said...

Sometimes I wish I had held out for a bigger wedding. But I started thinking about the financial side of it and that's what won. Plus, he was already in the town where we were moving, and that made everything harder to plan.

MarkyMark said...

Savvy,

Believe it or not, I have a GF from South America (won't say the country, as it reveals too much), and we've discussed getting married. Yes, I, an eligible bachelor, is thinking of doing the unthinkable-getting married! With that said, I have a couple of thoughts.

First, you were right to keep it simple and cheap. There is NO good reason to spend tens of thousands on what amounts to a glamorous, one day party; that money is either better spent on a house (like you all did), or saving it for your future. Tania (not her real name, obviously) and I will get married in a court house here, then go back and have a ceremony in her country early next year-assuming we get married, that is. That way, her family can share our joy, and it's a lot CHEAPER in her country. Since her brother is an accomplished musician/singer, he'll sing for us. Again, that's assuming we go ahead with it...

Secondly, big weddings ARE stressful! When you said that, you brought to mind my brother's wedding from 15 years ago. It was a big shindig with limos, a shuttle bus, and everything. I was in the wedding too; I did a Bible reading. The whole thing was so unnerving, upsetting, and stressful that I was happy and glad when it was over. I don't need that BS-never again! Cheap and simple is the way to go, no doubt about it.

Those are my thoughts. You were right to go to the court house, keep it cheap & simple, and use the money saved to make a down payment on a house. WTF would ANYONE spend upwards of $25k on a one day party?! Why were you, unlike the vast majority of women, willing to skip 'her big day'?

MarkyMark

SavvyD said...

MarkyMark - my "big day" was about becoming united in marriage with my man. I've performed in operas and worn costumes and planned big events. I've had plenty of attention. I guess, in some ways, I didn't "need" it the way that others do. And in another sense, it became frustrating to coordinate an interfaith event.

SavvyD said...

PS Wow, you're thinking about getting married???? Amazing. It's a huge step and it's not always easy. But its worth a shot. Best of luck. :)

MarkyMark said...

Thanks for the good wishes. She'll be coming here on the 18th to see how she likes it where I live. At some point, we plan on returning to her country; I was there for half of June, and I like it very much; in some ways, I feel more at home there vs. here...

Anyway, since you're married now, that brings to mind a question: shouldn't you change the name of your blog, since you're no longer single?

SavvyD said...

I haven't thought of what to change it to. I'm stuck with this URL that I picked, and moving might take time. I'm still writing about pro-single issues.

Wait, have you blogged about this important step in your life toward marriage?

MarkyMark said...

SD,

No, I have not. One, I don't have the passion for blogging like I used to. Two, I don't have anything original to say that someone else isn't saying better than I am. Three, I don't feel like catching the ration of CRAP that will surely come my way for betraying what I've stood and become known for. In fact, I'm thinking of taking the blog down.

MarkyMark

SavvyD said...

Blogging is on its way out, anyway. 5 years ago, I had conversations with people from all over the world. Now everyone uses Facebook, so it's more about micro-blogging than full posts. I get hits on my blog, but few leave comments. So many of my blog friends just stopped blogging and disappeared. Some may have moved on to a different blog when their interests changed.

Yes, being known for something can paint one into a corner. Also, love and relationships change things. The way I think and what I worry about are very different from when I was single.

MarkyMark said...

SD,

Yes, love and relationships DO change things-do they ever! I never thought I would meet someone who'd make me even think of doing what, for me, was unthinkable a short time ago...

As for FB, I have an account on there under my real name, but it's been WEEKS since I logged in. If I log in to my FB account once or twice a week, that's a lot.

I don't know if blogging is on its way out, or if times & circumstances have passed us by. Dalrock, Roissy, and other sites still get HUNDREDS of comments, so there are people reading blogs out there. When I post regularly, I get 500-1000 hits a day; when I don't, the hits go down a lot.

MarkyMark

MarkyMark

SavvyD said...

When my husband said he was thinking of proposing, he was sweating it and saying, "I'm thinking of making a really big change in my life because of you." It wasn't the fuzzy romance of romcoms, but it was romantic to me because it was very heartfelt.

Ruth said...

I'm all for getting married on the cheap..when ofcourse I do ge married.. to many things are far more importnat.