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Monday, June 23, 2014

5 Reasons Why Many Guys Stay Single, or the Camel Test

I read this post on Diary of a Super Champ and I was like, what?  It was called "5 Reasons Why Many Guys Stay Single."  While it was all good advice, the Biblical example was off.  Why is the Camel Test relevant?

Can we stop using Eliezer as the example of how to pursue a woman?  You remember, perhaps from Bible study that Eliezer was the servant wingman who found Rebecca for Isaac.  Oh, and it's once more removed, Isaac wasn't asking for himself, Abraham was ordering it for his son.  I consider it the junior high equivalent of saying someone likes you, or passing a note, "Do you like me?  Yes/No."  I know, it's the Bible, and we aren't supposed to talk about it this way.  But this does not give a modern man the tools to ask a woman out.

I'm largely over it because I'm married.  I actually went out with three different guys in the span of one month.  I ended up having a relationship with the guy who was most clear and direct.  I married that guy because he clearly communicated his interest and he kept calling.  I also liked him.  He was intelligent, interesting, and I was attracted.  He asked me out, planned something interesting, and I said yes.  Works like a charm.  You do, after all, want to be with someone who can share your interests.

The only reason why the Camel Test is relevant is because you are looking for a woman who is kind to others in some way.  Rebecca went above and beyond the call of duty to treat some strangers with class.  Nowadays, that sort of a difficult move, in our "don't talk to strangers" kind of world. 

In real life, have a test to pass before dating someone may leave you single.  If someone does not aware of your interest or of the test, they may repeatedly fail.  I can think of several guys who mysteriously dropped me as a "friend" because of some test I failed.  But since I was told we were "just friends" I treated them as such.  Joshua Harris uses this same scenario to encourage courtship over dating.  But it doesn't work for all the same reasons.

The camel test isn't a good example of dating or courtship.  It's an anomaly that worked at that time.  Stop Camel testing a girl.

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Episteme said...

Meanwhile, the inherent advice throughout -- Single Christian Men should have a good wingman -- is ignored. Single Christian Women have a wonderful close relationship with friends, while we go solo out of a sense of masculine identity. Meanwhile, Secular Hookup Men have actually taken the classic courtship concept of the "second," spun it into the wingman, and used it to great success in their reindeer games -- while there's not much we chaste men should learn from our more "morally flexible kin," realizing that having the aid of a friend to introduce us is not unmanly is actually worth remembering from our masculine cultural past.

SavvyD said...

Why do you need to wait to be introduced? I feel pretty alone at times. Surely you must know some other single Christian guys so you can help each other out. You might try just starting a conversation about the weather, or talking to the less attractive and less threatening girl standing next to the hotter one.