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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Go ahead and kiss already

I have been a Christian for a very long time. And I am also rather strong-willed. So I resent these articles that tell you all the things you shouldn't ever do. Boundless did it again with the article, Can I Just Plain Kiss Her? In my opinion, yes, you can.

That being said, if you choose to wait until you are at the altar. Good for you. It can increase the anticipation level and be very romantic to do so. But this neither affair-proofs your marriage nor necessarily guards your heart.

You see, emotionally speaking, you can be very attached to someone and love them deeply even if you never touched or so much as held hands. Some people feel that they are "more involved" when they are "blinded" by the physical aspect of the relationship. But that just isn't true for everyone.

I had to laugh at this comment because it oversexualizes the truth. Not every kiss leads to sex - this is something that so many inexperienced people are mislead about. When a pastor in the article says something about kissing, it makes the nice, concerned, and slightly neurotic even more worried. "When you kiss a woman, particularly if you are kissing her on the mouth, if you are kissing her for any extended period of time, things ... start happening in her body to prepare her to receive you sexually. There it is. That comes from kissing. That happens because God made it that way. And so we just know. You don't need a pastor to tell you what's sexual and what's not sexual activity. You know. Your body tells you."

I suppose if you are raised in an environment where parents aren't very affectionate, and you aren't allowed to touch, hug, or hold hands, touch has a tendency to be oversexualized. In Europe, people have a less restrictive view of touching and kissing. That's not to say that people don't misbehave, but honestly its the American guys who usually misbehave in that context. They take advantage of the custom and want to kiss all the girls.

Sometimes a kiss is just a greeting when someone walks through the door.

OK, seriously, I'm going to have to tell you more about my fiance. I just haven't been in much of a writing mood. Sorry to disappoint. This blog has been way fun and very meaningful.

Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment! (Thanks also for lurking. I don't allow anonymous comments. SavvySingleChristian@yahoo.com)


Robin said...

I agree with you; I don't believe the over-hyped idea that kissing will make you want to have sex. That article was ridiculous, and this sort of "teach the teens that nearly everything about dating is dangerous" attitude is why we have so many teen pregnancies.

I do NOT think that physical affection is necessary in order to feel love (as you wrote), but when every little physical expression is banned, more people end up wanting to "rebel" against those bans later.

Jenny said...

At age 31, after having never been kissed, I was kissed on a second date. I totally couldn't get over what a big deal it wasn't! Only after we'd been together awhile, and I'd gotten a lot more practice, did the kissing became more meaningful.

Kevin Sanders said...

I an advocate of sexual purity, but I also get frustrated with the legalism that so often gets pushed by well-meaning believers.

SavvyD said...

@Jenny - you were a victim of kiss inflation. Welcome to reality. ;)

@Kevin - sometimes the most well-meaning people can leave others completely jacked up in the head. :/

SavvyD said...

@Robin - it's not that kissing someone isn't ever a temptation to do more, but the reality is that most of the time it doesn't in a typical scenario. Not only that, there is a big difference between kissing someone goodnight and "going all the way".