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Thursday, December 1, 2011

Sometimes relationships can suck for stupid reasons

So, I have a boyfriend. At least it seems like i have a boyfriend some of the time. He went away for Thanksgiving and came back on Sunday. We have only talked on the phone for 7 minutes this week.

The funny thing is that most people think that relationships fail for more dramatic reasons. Some people think that him not being a Christian is the worst thing that could possibly happen. Nope. I'd say that the most difficult things are other conflicts.

He's a great guy and I really enjoy spending time with him. He's got 90% of the stuff that I'm looking for in a guy. Maybe it's that he's a bit of an intellectual nerd and doesn't get very emotional. Maybe it's that he's totally used to being single and doesn't really let girls into his heart. But oftentimes I feel a bit too left alone.

I'd like to be a little more inconvenienced and have a little more time demanded of me. We only see each other one or two times a week. It just makes me wonder how important I really am to him. It makes me wonder if I should tell my friends more about him or if I should change my status on Facebook. I just don't know.

Just wondering, how much time do you feel like you need to feel comfortable in a relationship?

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OI said...

6 months?

SavvyD said...

We've been together for 5 months now. I didn't clarify that.

Lindsay said...

Have you talked to him about this? Maybe he's just busy, maybe he's too dense to notice and would realize it if you brought it up (maybe not). If you think he's worth keeping around, then try talking it out and working it out. It seems like "time" is your love language, maybe figure out what his is and perhaps clear up some of the conflict. (Five Love Languages, http://www.5lovelanguages.com/) Sorry that this is disappointing.

Lindsay said...

My love language is definitely not time, b/c 1-2 days a week and an occasional text is more than enough time spent with a significant other during a busy semester. "Words of Affirmation" or "Physical touch" is the language that I feel most validated with, and I show my feelings for someone through "Acts of Service" and doing nice things for them.
I'm sure there's holes in this philosophy, but generally it seems to help figure out what it is that the other person is thinking.