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Friday, December 9, 2011

Do you wear the pants in the relationship?

Sometimes I think I have the most ridiculous friends. Thanks to Facebook, my friends have finally caught on to the fact that I have a real boyfriend. Well, for awhile there was something of a joke. At a recent Christmas party one of my friends asked,

Friend: So, tell me. Do you wear the pants in the relationship?
Savvy: Whaaaaaat? No.
Friend: Are you sure.
Savvy: OMG. Yes, I'm sure. What a weird question.
Friend: Well, it's just that you're really outspoken.
Savvy: So? My boyfriend likes that about me.
Friend: Yeah, but do tell him what to do, and stuff?
Savvy: This may come as a shock to you, but no.

I'm mystified by my reputation and discussed it with my boyfriend. Now, don't be offended or anything, but too much Christianity does appear to be harmful for singles. I don't mean a relationship with the Lord being a problem--I mean fake, quasi-sprituality, and sheep-like following of strange rules about relationships.

I'll admit that some people might find me a bit spicy and too hot to handle. But some people love that I tell it how it is. (Like maybe some of you, my regular readers.)

He thought the idea of me wearing the pants in the relationship was hilarious. He said, "Sometimes I run out of ideas of stuff for us to do, but, really?" That being said, I do make suggestions of things I would like to do. But often, it's my boyfriend who says something he would like to do and I agree that I would like to do it. If I mention things I like, he keeps them in mind.

For instance, he went to see Hugo with his cousins in Colorado. When he told me about this, I said I was only disappointed because I was looking forward to seeing that with him. He took me to see it. Also, he pays most of the time. So when I paid for him a handful of times it was treated like a big, huge deal.

I also bought dining certificates on Restaurant.com because he was always paying when we went out and sometimes the bill was high. I told him I appreciated it, but I wanted him to know that I enjoy his company and it was ok if we spend less. I really wish I got some kickback for encouraging you to check it out for your town, but do it anyway and thank me later. My boyfriend definitely appreciated that I got dining certificates. We've tried different restaurants that we otherwise would not have tried and just had fun. I think we are closer now.

In any case, I think a real relationship has an ebb and flow. People have to listen to each other in order to have a quality relationship. And I think that we really do. Yay! it's about time. I've been in other relationships and none ever worked this well. (Yes, that includes my moments that I have freaked out over not being sure how much he likes me, etc. and writing about it here.)

Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment! (Thanks also for lurking. I don't allow anonymous comments. SavvySingleChristian@yahoo.com)


OI said...

I tried to wear the pants, they didn't fit.

Meredith said...

how are things going with him now Savvy?

MarkyMark said...

Given your pushy, strident, arrogant, know-it-all tone in your comments on my blog, I'll bet you DO tell your BF what to do, but you're too dense to see it. You're too much of a 'special snowflake' to ever do that...

SavvyD said...

My, my, my! Marky Mark is BAAACK in full effect. I guess I can always delete. I'm now a "special snoflake" does anyone know what that means?

@Meredith - sorry I missed your comment. He's great. Keeps me in line. LOL.

SavvyD said...

PS Marky Mark is someone who I once cared for as far as web friends go, however, since he thinks that virtually all women are pushy, strident, arrogant, and opinionated, it's hard to take seriously what he says. I also spent a great deal of time trying to help him with a problem he was experiencing with a woman in his life and in return this is what I get. I ask that you apply your own logic.