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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Look what I found on Craigslist!

I thought I would give it a shot. A guy on Craigslist said it's really hard to date people at church, you know how it is... He also expressed that he liked music. I dropped him a line based on what he wrote.

Hi there,

have you ever taken a risk with the ladies at church? I'm just wondering. I've been hoping to meet someone for so long and the guys at church don't even look at us. It's so frustrating. I mean, maybe someone is worth a shot? If not, drop me a line.

I love indie music, a little Hillsong, a little classical... I write reviews and I sing. I have also taught voice and choir. I do drink socially, but I don't if it makes people uncomfortable.

Savvy


Hi Savvy,

I`m friends with several of the ladies at church, but have just kept it that way. My impression is that most women have or want to have children. I don`t have kids or want to start a family, and don`t see myself relating to someone that has children already. What is your situation, dreams/goals? Classical and Christian music are top on my list for music. I don`t drink anymore, but I`m not against responsible drinking.

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I'd rather be in a good relationship and not have children than never be in a relationship at all, but I don't want to exclude that completely. I don't know what the future will bring. I don't take the pill because it makes me extremely ill. I'll have to let you know when I hit menopause. Not quite there yet. But yeah, you're right, *never* wanting kids is a problem for most women. And I don't think I could sign up for never while I can still have them. I mean, even Brad Pitt wanted kids and left Jennifer Aniston over that. Men have left women who couldn't for many years, so it's not unreasonable to expect that people want children. Of course, I don't even know if I can, or even if I have the patience. 100 years ago the only option for those not wanting a family was to never marry.

I like your musical interests, but I can't help wondering why you have this rule. Do you not like them? Too expensive? Too much of a pain? It's a puzzlement. I don't mind when a man has children, just not when they have 2 ex-wives and 3 children between them. That's a mess to deal with and that scared me off.

I'd recommend putting that you don't want children or single moms up front in your ad.

Thanks for your reply.

D



I don`t know what the future will bring, but I`m pretty sure that the world conditions are going to make for more challenges, and starting a family and raising and guiding children through that seems over whelming to me. Adversity promotes growth which is good for us, but stepping into something outside of my disposition sounds unwise. I relate better to people my age or older, not so much children. I am, and do want to contribute to the world around me, but I`m probably best off doing it in other ways. I also make a modest income, not being one to make ends meet on my own for (2). I see myself being more of a partner in the finance dept. Not highly schooled, and may even get into something different at some point as far as work, with fulfillment in what I`m doing more of a priority than the wage. I also appreciate a home life that isn`t to hectic, on the quieter side. I wouldn't do well living in a home with the tv and video games on as a regular part of the day, etc.

Thanks for you time and advice.
S


Can't change people. You know you. Wish you the best. Savvy


Don't ignore a red flag. He doesn't want kids, he doesn't seem motivated in his career. I mean that's fine, just be prepared to not really date women. For a woman, this man is a bit of a losing proposition.

Perhaps one part of that whole Game business is correct. Have a mission. Women do love a man with a mission.


Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment!

3 comments:

Leslie said...

Yep, saw some interesting red flags there too. Honestly, I think his best bet would be to marry someone older than him - someone whose already hit menopause. Mid 40's. Not too much older where she's a motherly figure, but it really sounds like he just wants a companion - so someone whose already extremely independent but that they can just enjoy each others company.

steve6183 said...

That is true!

Mr. Mcgranor said...

I'll take a petite, dark black woman that doesn't mind a man that is rather poor. Hopefully a dame with a desk job. I am in Saint Louis MO.