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Sunday, January 2, 2011

Honest talk about being single

Some Facebook friends decided to start a group encouraging people to date and someone started a discussion about dating. I'm in! (Names have been deleted to protect the wide-eyed innocents, semi-innocent, and completely guilty. The last comment is, of course, mine as were a few others. :)  Can you tell which ones?

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EuropeanCatholic said...

Here's my thoughts:

I agree with the person who said we should not expect perfection. Very true.

I'm 32 and I don't necessarily think there is the perfect person or soul-mate. I know that I have met quite a few women whom I have really liked and believe would make great wives.

I have been quite intentional in asking single women out during 2010 that I have met. But I must say the whole experience of rejection has quite destroyed my fragile confidence. This is how it went:

End of January 2010 - my then girlfriend (of 2 months) decided to split up with me.

Easter 2010 - I met a friend at an Easter service who I knew previously from a mission team. She seemed very chatty, full of smiles and generally very welcoming and pleased to see me. I had her email address previously, so I emailed her afterwards saying it was good to catch up etc and would she like to go for coffee. No reply for 3 weeks, and the reply was no.

July 2010 - I asked out another Christian lady for lunch. She said the day I suggested did not suit her, but she would contact me the next week to confirm another time. She never contacted me. I followed up after no contact by emailing her and again no reply.

I've also tried to initiate contact (it's probably a flawed approach, but I do the best I can).
About a month ago, I knew it was a friend's birthday. I sent her a private message via Facebook wishing her happy birthday and asking how things were. Again, no reply. (I dont have her number, but I know she uses facebook regularly).

I was going to do something similar a few days ago with another friend, but felt why bother, it would probably be ignored. (I also decided against it because she is 23 and I am 32, as an aside I think that is too big a potential age gap, what do you think?).

Finally, I have thought in recent days about emailing someone I went out with 3 years ago. It lasted 4 months with her. We just drifted apart with her not really wanting a relationship. I know she is single and thought about emailing her - nothing ventured nothing gained etc. But again I suppose the rejection of 2010 has made me not want to suffer the personal embarassment if she does not reply.

People's thoughts would be appreciated.

SavvyD said...

@euroCath...funny you should agree with the comment about not expecting perfection as that was my other comment. You hear the voice of reason. (I'm flattering myself.)

I think 23 and 32 is fine. It just depends on the person.

I would suggest you visit another church to expand the circle you fellowship with.

Also, I don't have a full picture of what you do or where you live so I can give a better assessment. If you want you can write to me privately at SavvySingleChristian@yahoo.com

EuropeanCatholic said...

Thanks :-)

I'll try and write something by email soon.

Sushi Girl said...

Oh I'm with you, I agree, the language is appropriate, Yeah I have been trying to figure out how to delete my music, becuase it IS annoying and I JUST Did:)

SavvyD said...

@Sushi Girl Cool. Just so y'all know, her blog formerly had this music player that would reset when you wanted to make a a comment and then when you had to do the captcha and then when you went to another post. Please, y'all, nobody get a music playa for their blog. Tho, I love to know what people listen to.