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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

No, it really did mean nothing

I went to see my friend's band and sure enough that guy was there. I was sort of happy to see him, but after a text message with no response and no phone call... Well, suffice it to say that I had to know. (Plus Prof. Hale challenged me.)

I saw him at the box office and tapped him on the shoulder.
He: Don't touch me.
Me: Oh! No!
He: Heyyyyyy! How are you? (Big hug.) I didn't see it was you. I would have said that to anyone
.

I then got distracted with getting a VIP pass and he and his friends went inside without me.

Once inside I ran into him again and I had to ask, though I got distracted handing out cards to the friends so they could find my review on the web.

He: I have one, only mine is special.
Me: Yes, yours is special. Um...I sorta thought you would call me after all that stuff you said.
He: I don't know why I didn't call. I just didn't. I don't have an excuse.
Me: Oh.


I had my answer and walked away. Guys only say that kind of stuff when they don't care. He seemed to feel bad, but I really don't care if he feels bad. I think it was cruel to say really flattering things like "I need to see you again." when you really don't mean it.

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Pretty music making a comeback

GRIZZLY BEAR-- I came across this artist at the Coachella festival and found their music to be captivatingly beautiful. The lyrics are basic image-laden poetry. There are a few other artists right now who are coming out with lighter, prettier sounds in a vintage 1960s style. It's refreshing, like a walk in the woods. Veckatimest is an uninhabited island off the coast of Massachussetts.



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Friday, April 23, 2010

Muse totally rocks.

Please have a sampling of my latest favorite band, Muse. They do an awesome live show, the singer is AMAZING, and so is the music. Totally worth a sampling. They sound like a combination of various elements of 80s synth pop, Queen, Nirvana, and maybe a little Styx cause those guys could really sing. And they also use many classical music elements. Very intelligent and well-crafted. I could say a whole lot more, but then again, I've said it somewhere else already. Tell me what you think.

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Thursday, April 22, 2010

The unwanted spirit guide...

A myspace friend posted a blog entry revealing his excitement over the new retro suede boots he got in the mail. (Wow, a guy who digs shoes!) However, he also posted that he was kept up all night because he was communing with a spirit...a what?

1. I wouldn't commune with a spirit guide I barely know.
2. I wouldn't commune with a spirit guide who had a name somewhere between a cartoon warrior and a technology company.
3. Any spirit guide who kept me up all night to "commune" would seriously get the boot.
4. The only spirit guide I want to talk to is Jesus, I know what he's about--and so do alot of people.

Please keep reading....
I wanted to say this on a post, but I suppose it's not polite to make light of someone's spirit guide. Nor do people take too kindly to their spirit guide and subsequently listen intently while you tell them about Jesus.

Up until now this guy seemed like a reasonably intelligent, relatively creative guy. He just got his band back together. Say what you will about rock music, there are plenty of people not in rock who have spirit guides.

And lately I found myself thinking, that if one need only make a deal with the devil to be successful as a musician, then Satan would be out on his ear double quick since there are so many unsuccessful acts.

In between dreams, I thought I heard an audible voice speaking to me...but it just said, "Hi." I thought, "You're kidding me, right? It's after me because I want to make fun of it?" It was a dream, though. Then I thought, "Hi? You're kidding me, right? What's that? A spirit guide on his first attempt to talk to someone? A shy one? What a joke." I'm going to tell it to leave me alone in the name of Jesus.

While I feel slightly vindicated that a man would post about loving his shoes so much that he would lay them on the floor next to his bed so that they were the first thing he would see, there is a deeper issue. The question here is, how do I interact with people who have different beliefs and find ways to share my own?

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Monday, April 19, 2010

WRONG: Wrong place, wrong time, wrong offer

Wrong Pt. 1 (Incl. Non-Album track)I've said before that there's something I love about Depeche Mode's frankness, though some find them blasphemous. I went to the Coachella festival. Little did I know that it's basically Woodstock in the desert. OK, that's not completely true. There were alot of people smoking out and I'm sure there were a few people tripping on acid or Ecstasy. There were alot of people who were drunk. But there were just as many people who weren't. I wasn't. I went as press to write concert reviews.

I was hanging out in the press tent when I met a man who...
lives in New York.

Savvy: Oh, wow, you live in NYC?
Visit: Yes.
Savvy: I used to live out there. It was great.
Visit: Where do you live now?
Savvy: Out here.


We then compared notes about who we went to see an what we thought of them and then walk out to the field to watch another band.

Savvy: I thought Vampire Weekend was awesome.
Visit: Vampire Weekend? I can't stand them. They sound like they ripped off Paul Simon.
Savvy: Actually, they don't if you really listen to both. In any case, the lead singer is really great at working the crowd and he had everybody singing along.
Visit: Those are the bands that really last.
Savvy: I'm telling you, I think they have what it takes.
Visit: So you said you sing opera, I'd love to hear you sing sometime.
Savvy: Really?
Visit: Yeah, opera is amazing. that takes some real talent.
Savvy: Well, I'm not doing it right now, but I might get back to it.
Visit: Yeah, I think you should. Can I be honest with you?
Savvy: Um, sure.
Visit: Every time you lean in to talk to me, I look down your shirt.
Savvy: Um, really? What do you see?
Visit: I imagine you singing opera while you straddle me.
Savvy: Oh, really? I think that really naughty.
Visit: I think you're thinking about it every time you lean in close to me.


I sit blot up right and then check out my shirt. I don't think he can actually see anything. I think he's imagining it. I start laughing. I can't believe this anymore. I didn't come here to get some action and I sorta thought press would be safer. Guess it's only safer when you're in your home town.

Visit: Do you have backstage or camping access?
Savvy: No. I see you do. I did get to go backstage for a few interviews, but they brought me back with them. It was the only way I could go.
Visit: This band isn't that good. Let's get out of here.
Savvy: And go where?
Visit: Back to my campsite.
Savvy: Oh, you have a campsite? I thought about getting one, but I didn't want to be camping by myself.
Visit: Yeah, but what do you think?


What do I think? I think this is really bizarre. I think I haven't kissed anyone in a few months and I turned down someone from one of the bands earlier that day telling him he was married and I don't do anything with married men. I think I wish I had married very young because I would have been spared much of this BS. I always dreamed of being with someone really nice who loves me and respects traditional values and wants to wait until we get married. I think I have to dumb this one down for him.

Savvy: I'm really flattered, but I would only go "camping" with someone who is my boyfriend and who cares about me.
Visit: Just because it's just one night doesn't mean someone doesn't care.
Savvy: That's not what I mean. I mean there are things I would only do with someone who is my boyfriend.
Visit: Well, I won't lie to you. It's really difficult to make something work long distance after meeting and having a great time together. But I'm here until the 23rd...
Savvy: I know myself and I know what I'm looking for and I've been waiting a long time for someone who really cares about me.
Visit: Alright then, well I think I'm going to go back to my tent. I'm really tired. But keep in touch.


I'm sure if any girl were dumb enough to actually fall for his BS lines that he would have said about the same thing in the morning. "That was amazing. Keep in touch."

I often wish I were a man. Since I don't have anyone looking out for me, I can sort of see why men used to guard women so carefully. They knew the one thing that many women can't seem to figure out. Alot of men are up to no good.

I'm trying to figure out why some men think that we ladies are the evil ones. Why I don't just outright hate men like some men hate women at this point is beyond me.


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Friday, April 16, 2010

I don't go to bars--or nightclubs

I have gone places with friends and if they pick a place to go and celebrate it's going to be a really swank lounge and I'm with friends to celebrate. I don't go alone and I don't try and meet people I don't know. That's not at all the "bar scene" people think of.

Once I met a man at a multi-year reunion that was held at an old classmate's restaurant. There was nothing "bar scene" about it. We were all basically friends and friends of friends. I thought he went to a neighboring high school and talked to him about his recent trip to China. He then propositioned me.

A few weeks later they had a fund raiser in the same establishment. Many people there were married, have children, were there with spouses, and during the fundraiser there were some children there.

I have gone to karaoke WITH FRIENDS at bar/grill type places. Talk about take a walk on the mild side. Many people who go to the occasional karaoke night are really there for the karaoke. And many really sing quite well. I did hear one that a couple met and married through karaoke. But I don't hold my breath that the same will happen for me.

The typical "bar scene" is filled with people who "go to bars" to "pickup." Many places in our country do not have said swank lounges that one would consider going to with friends. Many places in the U.S. have really scroungy, nasty, gross establishments which ONLY serve alcohol. You would only go there if you have 30 tattoos and came with a biker gang. Most people think of that when they think of "bars."

How often? I'd say once a month someone decides to throw their birthday at a swank lounge. Though another friend had her's a Dave and Busters--a well known, very clean, "grown up arcade." The bands I go see are in "concert halls" or "auditoriums." I stand in the back and stay out of the fray.

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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

So, it meant nothing...

So the guy I was talking to a few weeks ago when out with some friends goes to my church. And the band is supported by people I go to church with, so it's a group that I feel relatively safe getting to know better.

So, I found out that one of the guys I met didn't mean anything at all by saying, "I need to see you again."

Wow. Not too many people talk that way to anyone. And then I saw him at church. so I thought it was possible that he might mean it.


He didn't.
He: Hey, so when am I gonna see you again.
Me: Well, that's up to you?
He: That's the best answer ever!!
Me: Awesome.
He: So, what's the best thing that's happened to you this week?
Me: Seeing you again.
He: You little charmer! That's the best answer I ever heard!!! Did you hear what she said?
Me: Well, it's true.
He: I love it! So am I gonna see you the next time we go to see the band?
Me: Will you be there?
He: Yes. I'm a regular.
Me: Then yes, for sure.
He: You little charmer!


In any case. I gave him my card since he was at my church I thought maybe he was a Mr. Alright. As we left for the evening I asked:

Me: I really liked what you said to me last time.
He: Really?
Me: Do you remember what you said?
He: Um, no. What did I say?
Me: You said, 'I need to see you again.'
He: Oh my gosh, I'm such a charmer!!! Scooore!!
Me: Yeah, well I am too.


We both laughed, said goodnight and I figured he now had my phone number and if he called that meant he might be interested. I thought that would be cool.

The first day I hoped.
The next day I thought about it.
The third day I realized he didn't mean it.
The fourth day I realized I'd best forget about it.
The seventh day, I blogged about it.

And here's the thing, he's not the best looking guy, but if he said those things and he meant them, then I thought he was worth a shot. I liked how I saw him treat his friends. But when it came to meaning what he said to girls, I guess he really didn't. Or perhaps he just has no idea how his words impact people who are lonely and really want to believe that there could be someone out there.

So many disappointments. I've got people lambasting me for not being submissive. I'll submit to my dad, to a pastor who is teaching right doctrine, to my doctor if I believe the treatment is correct--but I'm having a hard time finding a man who is husband material to submit to. And remember, this was at church. CHURCH!!!!!

On the other hand. Something was accomplished. I KNOW he's not really interested. I KNOW not to take him seriously in the future.


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Monday, April 12, 2010

Who do you take advice from while looking for Mr. Alright?

Do you take any at all?

A few months back, I posted an entry saying that I was no longer taking any advice about dating. I'm not. Mr. Alright sounds great if you can find him. Some people don't get this. Mr. Perfect doesn't exist---unless it's next door to Prince Charming in fairy land. Mr. Right is in the same neighborhood. The reason why I say to look for an Alright guy is that Mr. Right has turned into Mr. Perfect for many women.

Today I took flowers to a friend who just had surgery and got to meet her mom. I told her I was so happy that her mother was there for her and that parents who love us are such a blessing.

Another friend of hers was visiting and she said that she was concerned because she was in her late 30s and struggling to meet someone. She is Christian, goes to church, I can't say much more because I only just met her. She's very attractive. I'm so surprised that she would have a hard time. I told her the concept of looking for a Mr. Alright and she was fascinated with the idea. I told her:

Mr. Alright is a great guy, but he's not perfect. He's attractive to you, but he's not Brad Pitt. He's Alright because he's ALL right. Everything is right with him. (There's more...)

I don't think I will ever find this guy and there is another blog where they are saying some really mean things. I guess I have to consider what has happened. For about a year I've been getting unsolicited advice like that I should move to a smaller town in the middle of nowhere to find a man. Or that I should put an ad on Match.com and I will get hundreds of responses--so many that my mailbox will break down. I'm sorry that's as much of a fantasy as finding Mr. Perfect. It's a chimera, a dream, a fairy tale.

What if this person who is sending the advice is not living a right life. His blog entries are filled with hatred directed at women. What if he's always calling them really bad names? He's not going to church anymore, but he used to be in Bible college. So he kind of knows what is right, but he's not practicing himself.

What if you don't know him in person? What if he's never even seen a picture of you? What if he judges you for buying shoes when he owns a motorcycle--something that can cost as much as a car. When I think of the serious injuries and death from riding a motorcycle, it's scary. I know of people who have finally given up riding when a friend is killed. That's pretty irresponsible, way more than a pair of shoes and way more expensive with insurance and maintenance. What if he judges you for buying a pair of shoes, but he's got a gaming console that cost way more? I'm just speculating on that one. But I'm fairly certain that he has a big screen TV that probably cost a few thousand.

Would you take advice from this person?

What if the truth is that I'm not very attractive? I'm the girl that guys ask out because they think I'll say yes, not because they actually like me. More than one has actually told me this. They think because I'm not very attractive that I should be grateful and that I'll sleep with them easily. Then they realize I won't. And then they get mad. And then I dump them.

But if I'm really toxic like the guy I described says I am then I better find a really good job. I'm trying to decide between nun and lawyer...celibacy seems to help both.

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Friday, April 9, 2010

Looking for Mr. Alright

Alot of women won't "settle" for Mr. Alright. They only want a Mr. Right--well, I don't know about that. It seems like they want a Mr. Perfect. I don't. No really.

Some have not been reading my blog for long enough. I am looking for someone who does what he says he will do. Many of the men I have gone out with have not been able to meet a basic requirement--

Do what you say you will do.

If you say you are going to call, do it.
If you say you will take me out, do it.
If you say you respect me, then let's take our time.

Many relationships have been stalled just in email. You know how it is. Match.com, you seem interested in each other...then suddenly he says he has a family tragedy. Or he's sending fake cut and pasted French poetry and not calling. People tell you "don't think like that" when you are just calling it how you see it. But, the truth comes out. No dice. No phone call.

Some guys starts Facebooking you about going out sometime. When you write to him to ask simple questions about the deets and what kind of music he likes so you can invite him to something suited to his taste...he doesn't even repond, so you unfriend him because you weren't really friends and don't want to waste time with someone who won't follow through.

Fish or cut bait. It's simple. No follow through? Sorry. I just don't have time for that. Who does?

A guy can't even be Mr. Alright if he's doing things that aren't even alright. Mr. Alright might not be the best looking guy with the best job, but he's at least attractive (to me) and he's a good guy.

So yeah, unlike some of those girls on the Dr. Phil show, my requirements are really basic. And let me tell you, he's not some pot-smoking, alchoholic, doesn't-call-me-when-he-says-loser.

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Sunday, April 4, 2010

I don't feel so alone with The Smiths

When I was a kid, I first heard The Smiths and absolutely hated them. They were depressing. On the other hand, they were real.

As an adult, the frank statements in Morrissey's lyrics are a stunning listen and read, so I have included a few favorites. Their plain approach to music and advertising makes one realize how genius they truly were. Please have a listen while you read more.




They seemed to be against the excesses of other groups--just a simple black and white image borrowed from somewhere else would do when other groups were technicolor. And while I find myself feeling like I "shouldn't" listen to their lyrics because I'm Christian and my hope is supposed to be in Christ, church leaves the modern single often feeling disconnected from others.

You know you feel it, too. It feels better to sing along with "stretch out and wait" or "You just haven't earned it yet, baby" rather than hear one more person say, "Perhaps the Lord is using this time of singleness to teach you something." Plan or no plan, God or no God, Morrissey is just like you. Nerdy, bookish, sometimes shy, and other times bombastic. Celibate? Some people don't buy it, but considering how some people can be so cruel when you don't give them what they want, I can relate.

I find myself putting up with the disrespectfulness of a song which states that the church just wants your money or how Morrissey would like to drop his trousers to the Queen because the other songs are ones I relate to. There is no pie-in-sky about it, no huge hedonistic party to be had.

Morrissey's lyrics are comforting because he seemed to understand our pain--even after all these years it seems like he's right there. His dismal side revealed an acceptance that life has an end, it's OK to be odd, it's hard to find someone who suits you. The beautiful voice, great musicality in bass and drums and the Johnny Marr guitars almost seem like manna from heaven.

And in fact, through the group led a troubled existence behind the scenes, they never had it as good as they did then. Even Morrissey, who remained highly regarded in the public eye, was more famous with The Smiths than after.

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Two lovers entwined pass me by and heaven know I'm miserable now. I was looking for a job and then I found a job. Heaven knows I'm miserable now. In my life, why do I give valuable time to people who don't care if I live or die?

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A dreaded sunny day, so let's go where we're happy
and I'll meet you at the cemetery gates.
Keates and Yates are on your side. Wilde is on mine.
So we go inside and we gravely read the stones
All those people all those lives Where are they now?
With loves, with hates, And passions just like mine
They were born and then they lived, and then they died
Which seems so unfair, and I want to cry.


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shyness is nice, and shyness can stop you
from doing all the things in life you'd like to
so of there's something you'd like to try
ask me, I won't say no. How could I?


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Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body? I don't know.

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If a ten ton truck kills the both of us
to die by your side, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.


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I know I'm unloveable.
You don't have to tell me.
For message received loud and clear.
I wear Black on the outside
Because Black is how I feel on the inside
And if I seem a little strange
Well, that's because I am
But I know that you would like me
If only you could see me
If only you would meet me


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If you're wondering why
All the love that you long for eludes you
And people are rude and cruel to you
I'll tell you why
but you wouldn't believe me
You just haven't earned it yet, baby


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Friday, April 2, 2010

No date with you

Cue dramatic music.
Announcer reads: And now, another installment in the ongoing saga of Facebook comments! In this chapter, Brfcs leaves stupid comments and...well...you'll see...

Brfcs: May be a dumb question, but why would a girl be offended if I complement her on her body (even if she is chubby)? If I didn't like it I would be giving the complement. Sure she may not like it, but it's not like it's going to change anytime soon. Why not work with what you've got, when you have it?

Savvy thought: She probably doesn't like you like that. The way you said it probably came across as creepy, weird or desperate. I sympathize with her, I've started to think you are a creep. Seriously, just because a girl is chubby doesn't mean she will give YOU a chance. The real question is why you are so self-absorbed that you think your compliment was like manna from heaven.

I thought I would send him his own words to eat.
Savvy sent: Brfcs says: "How are we supposed to plan our date if it takes you so long to respond? ;)"
Savvy thought: How lame. Let's see if the jerk has a response. (He didn't.)

However he did post this enlightening thought:
Brfcs: Nice to know the Lakers can win a game... GO LAKERS!

Savvy thought: Nice to know I don't have to take you seriously.

I'm thinking I should just quietly unfriend him. There isn't really a point to us being Facebook friends since we weren't really friends in class He found me through our mutual friends. Seriously, we hardly spoke until I spilled coffee on his briefcase at a training seminar. Who cares?

I love comments!