My friend Katrina is one of those really sweet girls who gets asked out constantly by guys. I have never been in her shoes. I have no idea what it feels like. Yet, she doesn't have a boyfriend. Why?
Katrina: I was thinking about that guy I mentioned to you and I don't think I would be happy with him because he jokes around alot and I think I need someone more serious.
Savvy: well, I have my theories about him, but yes, he jokes around. Wait, has he asked you out?
Katrina: No, so maybe I should focus on the ones that like me and ask me out.
Savvy: Sounds like a really good plan.
Katrina: I met this guy tonight who talked about going out with me.
Savvy: Did he ask for your number?
Savvy: OK, then go out with him.
Katrina: I don't know.
Savvy: Why not?
Katrina: Well, I was talking to this other guy at a party and he mentioned that he would like to go snowboarding with me.
Savvy: Snowboarding? really?
Katrina: Yeah, but he's divorced and I see that as a red flag.
Savvy: Really? A red flag? Um, I hate to be rude, but how old are you?
Savvy: How old is he?
Katrina: He's in his 30s.
Savvy: I'm going to be blunt here, it seems to me that you have alot of guys asking you out, but at 29 your red flag list seems very interesting. I mean, at 29 it's going to be hard to find guys who haven't been involved in a serious relationship, divorced, or even having lived with a girl in their past. Many might even have kids by their 30s.
Katrina: I never thought about it that way.
Savvy: It's just something to think about. Are you picky?
Katrina: Well, yes, I'm selective.
Savvy: Sounds like you might be a little too selective in ways that aren't helping you. If I had guys talking about going out with my, I would go out with them to check it out and see what's up. I don't have anyone asking me out.
Katrina: No one? You're so cute. And you're such a great conversationalist.
Savvy: All the girls are very sweet about it, but the guys just don't like me like that. It's probs the 30 lbs I've been trying to lose and I'm totally out of shape.
Katrina: Don't say that about yourself.
Savvy: Well, it must be something. They just don't look at me like that. I'm working on it, but it's so slow. So listen, if I had guys asking me out, I would go out and see what's up instead of twisting myself into knots over hypothetical situations and red flags that aren't helping.
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