A newlywed couple sat on the couch discussing relationships with us singles. And somehow my status came up...oh shit. (I did not say that.) The female newlywed assured me that I was, indeed, cute.
Savvy: That's nice to hear. It's hard to tell. None of the guys ask me out.
Nwlywd: Oh, well, you can't want it.
Savvy: I don't think that's true.
Nwlywd: Have you tried Match.com?
Nwlywd: Have you been going to church?
Savvy: OK, let me rephrase...I have had offers, but they are the wrong kind of offer from the wrong kind of guy. And anything you name, I have tried it to try to meet someone since none of the guys seem to notice me.
An interloper involved himself in the conversation. I had expressed interest in said interloper and when he failed to seemed interested in me, I gave up and would just say hi but did not seek him out to converse with him any longer. We shall call him Chuck.
Chuck: Love is just around the corner.
Chuck: Do you mean none of the guys at church have asked you out?
Savvy: Yes. No one.
Chuck: So, wait, out of all the guys you have met at church, none have asked you out?
Savvy: That is correct.
Chuck: So, wait, out of all the years you have been going to church none have ever asked you out.
Savvy: In all the years...I would say about 2 or 3 guys at church have ever asked me out. But that was 5 years ago the last time someone from church asked me out.
Chuck: I really believe love is just around the corner.
I must have turned the wrong corner. And believe me, I have turned too many corners to count.
Just so we are aware that I'm not seeking some outrageously perfect man. I will share with you one of my early crushes circa 1991-1993 was Gordan Gano, lead singer of Violent Femmes. He is 5'4", has stunning blue eyes, and writes music that I find equal parts disturbing, enjoyable, inspiring, and funny. He is both devout Baptist and singer of torch songs for troubled teens (and misfit modern singles). My two best friends and I probably drove people insane singing every lyric to every album ad nauseum with feeling. I did make someone laugh tonight by singing their classic, "Girl Trouble."
Now, some of you might think I'm strange. I'm so fine with that. I'm just looking someone who can still love me. So far I haven't met him yet. And sadly, Gordon Gano was not around any of the corners that I turned.
And never shy about the ugly side of life, this is ripped from the headlines of an 1862 news story about a man who threw his daughter down a well and hanged himself.
And this ditty always makes me laugh.
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