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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Love is like poker...

I ended up having a conversation with a guy who I had not heard good things about and it was enlightening. He fully admits to his shortcomings and that he is not the most faithful of guys when it comes to either love or spirituality. After that, nothing is truly shocking.

And let's just clarify that the conversation was just that, a conversation. I was not flirting with him. Hells no! Besides, I don't think he was joking about how much drinking he does. He had a metal flask on hand at a party where there was already plenty to drink if you wanted it. But evenings do end, as do poker games. I won, by the way.

Svvy: Why don't you take this opportunity to be a gentleman and walk me to my car?
Dxtr: Well, OK. Usually they say a man is a scholar and a gentleman, I usually skip to scholar.
Svvy: So...I heard something interesting from you from someone who used to date you...and sorry to say the report was not so good.
Dxtr: I know who you're talking about. And she was right.
Svvy: Wow. Good for you, you admit your shortcomings.
Dxtr: Look, you should know that I dated her because I wasn't dating anyone else, I was bored and she was fun.
Svvy: True, she's fun.
Dxtr: So, I was always coming from a place of not taking it very seriously.
Svvy: And she was looking for someone to be serious with.
Dxtr: And she's way more Christian than me.
Svvy: Yeah, one time I teased her about making out with her boyfriend and she said "we don't do that." And I was like, "That's what I would be doing if I had a boyfriend."
Dxtr: Yeah, well, if I'm making out with a girl, I'm going to try to go further. And if a girl doesn't want that either we don't make out or she will take my hands and push them away. But I'm a man whore. And that whole waiting business doesn't necessarily make us stay or go.
Svvy: I know that. I guess my issue is they are pushing sooner than I am ready.
Dxtr: What 3 months?
Svvy: No. Try before 3 dates. Before I'm even comfortable talking about where he has been and if he has anything because...well...I know I don't have anything.
Dxtr: I get tested.
Svvy: Yes, well, that's one way of knowing, but there's other things to talk about, too. And if you aren't comfortable talking about it...well, it's best not to do it.
Dxtr: Those conversations are awkward.
Svvy: Well, so far no one has offered me enough in exchange in terms of a relationship or being good looking enough for me to want to do anything.
Dxtr: Well, that's how some guys are. Like, I might be seeing a nice girl and then when she goes home, I call my booty call.
Svvy: I know that, that's why I'm not going to do anything with them. Not only is it that I would rather wait, it's that I know guys do that and I'm not going to do anything with someone until I know it's a little more serious than that.
Dxtr: Well there are definitely guys out there who are looking for something serious. But you aren't going to find that in a bar.
Svvy: I don't go to bars except with my friends because it's someone's birthday.
Dxtr: Well, maybe it's a matter of putting in the time with a guy who isn't ready to be serious yet and then when he is...it's sort of like poker. Sometimes it's a waiting game. Sometimes you have to take risks and then ultimately you win.
Svvy: Yeah, winning at poker tonight was fun. But you also have to know when you have a bad hand from the outset. And besides, this wasn't real poker tonight. I wouldn't bet real money. I guess if love is like poker, I'm either waiting to be dealt in, or I haven't been liking the cards I've been dealt. I'm going to wait for a better hand then. One with cards that can make a serious impact. Maybe then I will consider it fun to play.


Let's be honest, Dxtr is something of a jerk, but he does seem to live by something of a moral code. He is this way because he can be. Some girls out there are allowing this. Either they hope he will change because they have bet a great deal on him, or someday he will meet the right girl at the right point in his life and he will change.

But because I know that there are guys out there like that, I think I am making the right choices.

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