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Friday, November 26, 2010

Go and meet them! Date at church!

I was at church talking to this guy and for some reason dating at church came up.

Savvy: I think people should date people at church. After all, where else are you going to meet someone nice who might be spiritual and possibly get married?
Dude: Well, Paul said in scripture that it's better to be single.
Savvy: What is this? A monastary? The bible also says it's not good for man to be alone.
Dude: Well, I just don't think the purpose of going to church should be to meet someone.
Savvy: Why not?
Dude: You should go to church to worship God.
Savvy: I mean if you aren't going to have people you are friends with at church and have people you have fellowship with or even date, you might as well stay at home. I can worship God by myself.
Dude: The Bible says that we should not give up meeting with each other and that we should worship together.
Savvy: But you just said that you shouldn't go to church to meet people. I'm just saying that there's really no point to going to church if you aren't going to meet people. And that could include asking someone out on a date.
Dude: Well, I don't see anyone I'd like to pursue.
Savvy: How do you know that? You don't even know any of them.

He was sitting at a table alone. Yes, he had come with his roommate, but let's face it, he wasn't a joy to meet. He wore a dour expression on a seemingly permanent basis and seemed to put on the breastplate of solitude.

Savvy: I mean seriously, all of this stuff about us repeating what Paul said about being single...it's more like we're just rationalizing that we're single without really a spiritual reason. We're single because society has changed, not by choice.
Dude: Well, if the Lord brings that to you...
Savvy: And 40 years ago the Lord most certainly would have brought that to the majority of us. But we don't have partners because society has changed. All I'm saying is if you are serious about meeting a nice girl, go meet them.
Dude: OK, fine. I will.

And whether he did it because he found me entirely disagreeable I'll never know. He got up and went to a group of more seriously minded, more likely to quote scripture than Savvy kind of people and started talking. He actually talked to a pretty girl. I think I did something good.

So, guys, go out and meet them!! Get to know them.

Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment!


Miss365 said...

Savvy I would love to meet them if they existed in my Church. ;)

gracekay said...

hi savvy, i love your blog :)
i agree with you about meeting someone at church or fellowship.
the issue of christians dating non believers wouldn't arise if you could have friends at church and find a like minded partner there


SavvyD said...

Well, I guess I was hoping that the guys would be inspired by this.

But then, one guy who I have met around church people told me that he tries to get whatever he can and that he knows he's a jerk.

EuropeanCatholic said...

As always, I enjoy this blog and find encouragement to realise that I am not alone.

My thoughts:

The last two Christian women I asked out both said no.

The first said she could not meet me for lunch the day I suggested. But, she said she would telephone me the next week to confirm a new day. She never contacted me again.

The second woman, a friend, I asked out for coffee by email. She took 3 weeks to reply and it was a no.

I have been thinking of contacting another acquaintance/friend who I find quite attractive because she has such as strong faith. But, after the last 2 experiences outlined above, I don't want to put myself through more hurt.

Like you all, I too have my sins and shortcomings. I also know that I would make a great Husband and Father, but cannot meet anyone to give me a chance.

I do think that 40 years ago we would almost certainly all be married. And sadly we are having to deal with a fragmented, indivdualistic society which does not encourage marriage etc. My hope is that it will change, my fear is that when it does change, I will basically be too old. I am 32 now.

I know one argument is that women can't find men who will ask them out which I am sure is true. My problem is that I can't find women who will go out with me, certainly this year.

At the moment, I can't see much possibility to meet new people.

SavvyD said...

Well, see, now I feel bad. But this is a large church with alot people to be met.

32 is not too old for a man or for a woman. There are singles who are pushing 40 and would still like to meet someone.

Perhaps you can visit another church? I don't know the specifics of your situation.

LT said...

the funny thing is just because church is involved doesn't mean anything because we are still flesh and blood.Insane people play the good christian too.We can't be deceived lol!

Tabs A. Geek said...

As much as the idea of dating at church is ideal to me, reality is it's not going to happen.

I've found a lot of guys that I have encountered through church all have the same expectations when it comes to the Christian girls they want to date -- They must be incredibly feminine, and act like they are perfect Christians whenever in public. They have to fit physical ideals too.

For a girl like me who definitely is not the next America's top Model, and is a total nerd and tomboy; as well as someone who refuses to pretend to be perfect just to make everyone else happy, I tend to be thrown off the radar so fast that they couldn't even care what my personality is.

And those that have been interested... well, let's just say they weren't the sharpest. One turned out to be a jerk, and the other one turned out to be a creepy stalker.

So I think it's pretty safe to say that the idea of dating in church has been severely tainted for me.

SavvyD said...

I'm gonna spell it out. Clearly God forgot about us. Shit. We're fucked.

My current crush on the drummer in Muse is far more productive.

Jackie M. Johnson said...

Good post. I'd love to meet a guy at church who shares my faith. Sure it's not the ONLY reason you go there, but it's a good and valid secondary reason.