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Friday, October 8, 2010

30 year old virgins on Oprah

I sort of hate the Oprah show. I also sorta like it. They produced a show about two women who are still virgins at 30 years old who felt a bit traamatized by circumstances in their lives. I suppose there's something to that. But sometimes it's really a combination of things. Personally, I've tried having relationships with people who didn't respect the religious reasons and they were very disrespectful and impatient--something which in turn makes them very unattractive.

To their credit, they did disgust the societal shift in feelings toward virginity. Dr. Laura Berman and Oprah both stated that, "It's not a problem if you don't have a problem." Good. I'm glad for that.

One of the girls (#1) is really overweight, like 250 lbs. In some ways that's not fair. Though not feeling good about your weight is a major reason for not wanting to have sex or be naked around someone.

The other woman (#2) had problems after her mother died. Her father started sleeping with a parade of women. She became angry because her mom was replaced, and yet not because her father was just using them. I somewhat agree with her hesitation to be intimate. You do want to know that someone really likes you and enjoys your company.

Now, lest you judge, as so many do. The weight gain that girl #1 experienced was the result of a medical condition. Both the treatment and the medical condition caused a sudden weight gain. Oh, I've heard this before and experienced it on a smaller scale myself. And that weight is impossible to lose. You can feel the judgment coming from other people and then you cast it on yourself. And before anyone knows it, they are stuck in a chronic system.

The funniest part was talking about masturbation, which Dr. Berman thinks is OK and important. Girl #2 said, "I just think it's a team sport." In some ways, though, that people talk about it on TV makes some people think it's OK to talk about on a date. I've had guy ask bizarre sexual questions very early--too early for me to even know if I even want to see them again. Actually, no, I take it back, that makes me know for sure that I don't want to see them again. LOL!

And let's not forget that there really are more than a few people out there who are users and losers. As far as I'm concerned, it's better to be safe than sorry. The other thing addressed was that Girl #2's father's inability to love impacted the whole family.

Girl #1 experienced meeting with a stylist and then being set up on a few dates with men who seemed very nice, even if they weren't outrageously attractive.

I wonder what the Oprah show would do with me? I mean, it's not like I'm never out there. But I'm not asked out as much as I would like and not by the right kind of men. I'm doing all the right things, but just not getting the right amount of dates with the right kind of guys. I've tried online dating. Nothing has worked. I'm trying to lose every ounce of the weight I gained from my accidents and medical ills,though the process is slow.

I have friends who are thin and beautiful and even they get the runaround from guys. I've tried living in other places, less glamorous towns. And that didn't work out very well either. Perhaps I should just hire someone to be my boyfriend. An actor. Why not? Just kidding!!!

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Sunday, October 3, 2010

Do you have a boyfriend yet?

I spoke with one of the ladies from church about my predicament. I can't find a worthy boyfriend. There really are NO single straight men at the church where I sing professionally, and plenty who don't seem to be interested at the other church where I fellowship.

One Sunday as we prepared for the processional:
Lady: Do you have a boyfriend yet? I've been praying.
Savvy: No. But thank you so much.
Lady: I was hoping."
Savvy: Keep praying, maybe God will do something.

It was so sweet. I hate to be a disappointment. I keep praying, and praying, and watching, and waiting, and dreaming, and dreaming of the special man I admire. Sometimes I pretend I'm with him. But, of course if I met someone I would drop that dream...but instead I only have dreams...*SIGH*

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