The way the singles pastor talks about dating makes me angry. Perpetually being asked out by jerks makes me angry. I seriously have a hard time believing that not one man at church wants to give me call, talk to me, get to know me better, and then go out. That which was once so normal at one time has become demonized.
Alright, so I complained about this dating dilemma at at round table discussion and one of the guys said, "The women need to say yes more."
In a way, what he said is fair enough. In a way it isn't because I know who he recently asked out. Most of the guys like her. She gets asked out but has very high standards. Some of the women who aren't getting asked out at all might have welcomed this guy asking her out.
The pastor then said, "Well there's this idea that you don't want to poop where you eat. This is where people come to be fed spiritually and if it doesn't work out they have this poop that's there."
People, that's just the dumbest sh*t I ever heard. I mean, seriously? That concept comes from the world of work. You don't want to mess things up where your paycheck comes from. That makes sense. You could be fired. Not dating at church is stupid. Where ELSE are we supposed to go? eharmony? Just for Lunch? Together? Big Church? Christian Cafe? Volunteering? How about PunkRockDating.com? Why is that all OK? Honestly these services aren't working out for most people. Though I've heard punk rock dating might be really awesome for me since I'm so into music.
I'm sure the pastor thinks I'm just bitter. But honestly, this is one of those cases where the church could teach a little better about dating rather than just jumping in at sexual promiscuity and marriage, neither of which are pending for myself or many of my friends. And several people who are dating someone are not dating Christians because no one from church ever asks them out.
He said that guys try to get to know us without actually getting to know us. They watch us and see how we interact with people. But haven't any of them seen enough by now? Can't they know a bit more about me if they were to actually ask for my number and ask to meet me for coffee? The way things are now has never worked out and I just assume no one is interested at all.
What I ended up praying for with a friend this evening is for people to want to experience meaningful fellowship with each other and for the walls and barriers to come down between people. That's what the real problem is. And the other very real problem is that if no one ever asks us out, where do we go? Some of us have friends who already have 4 kids by 25. They don't exactly have time to hang out.
Being married doesn't make your life "better" however. Life can be utter sh*t. When you go through sh*t the comfort is that you went through sh*t together.
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