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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Credit where credit is due

Well folks, sometimes I hate that I prove people wrong, even when I prove myself right. I want to be as hopeful as they are, but I have learned over the years not to be. I only give credit where credit is due. If a person in my life doesn't deserve credit for something, it's because he didn't earn it.

Though this is a completely dissimilar story, a young woman called in to a radio show complaining about a man she was sleeping with. The radio host shushed her and said, "He's not going to marry you. Start charging him $250 for sex so at least you get something out of it." I think I would have said the same thing.

I described the situation with the man 20 years older and at least two people said something positive about it.
Sassy: That sounds like a lost opportunity. Maybe you should say something to him.

I see a Christian counselor:
Savvy: So he didn't ask for my number and left without even saying anything to me. I mean, seriously, I thought older guys were supposed to be more settled and stuff.
Counselor: Well, why don't you say something to him the next time you see him.
Savvy: Because I just think that if a guy left without saying anything to me and didn't ask for my phone number that he did that on purpose.
Counselor: You don't know that for a fact. With that attitude, you're never going to be with anyone. Beside, you said he was smiling at you. He was still connecting with you.

I took what both people said and considered it. Maybe I'm too bitter. Maybe I should be more forgiving. Maybe he doesn't have a wife or girlfriend that he was cheating on. Maybe I should give the old guy a chance.

He was not at the choir rehearsal, so I decided to email the director who forwarded it to him:

Hi there OlMan.............

Savvy has sent me this note, so, I'm Replying to her and BCC'ing you.............
you'll see her address here and can respond to her directly..........

miss you in the rehearsals!
it's a BIG gang this time...........nearly 190 singers!

hope all is well.............

In a message dated 8/7/2010 5:54:39 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time, savvysinglechristian@yahoo.com writes:

Hi again,

I've been meaning to ask if you might send OlMan X an email for me as I think I left something in his car when he gave me a ride after the Arcadia concert. At least I think that's his last name. I'm a bit fuzzy. Bass front row. Correct last name?


It would be safe to say that I was correct in my assumption that he didn't say anything to me or ask for my phone number because he didn't want to. He didn't email me because he didn't want to. He didn't apologize because he didn't want to.

I guess there are some things you just know. Only give credit where credit is due. This guy does not deserve any credit. Though I should get some credit for catching on

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Emily Cross said...


I know this probably isn't any help but at least you've learnt from this experience. I know some friends who've been burned and still repeat same behaviour.

I don't think age changes someone's personality. If they're a jerk young, they will be old. Some young guys are settled, mature from their 20s then you'll see men in 50s still acting like children.

Don't give up! But don't wear rose tinted classes either (which i do myself).

again *hugs*

Jenny said...

Okay, I feel an urge to post a comment this time around: I think the guy feels guilty for hitting on someone young enough to be his daughter. Rather than telling you it won't work, he's hiding. That's happened to me a few times with guys who are sort-of dating someone, and it's worse when they try to pretend that they never led me on! I hope you find someone who isn't a loser, Savvy.