Do you take any at all?
A few months back, I posted an entry saying that I was no longer taking any advice about dating. I'm not. Mr. Alright sounds great if you can find him. Some people don't get this. Mr. Perfect doesn't exist---unless it's next door to Prince Charming in fairy land. Mr. Right is in the same neighborhood. The reason why I say to look for an Alright guy is that Mr. Right has turned into Mr. Perfect for many women.
Today I took flowers to a friend who just had surgery and got to meet her mom. I told her I was so happy that her mother was there for her and that parents who love us are such a blessing.
Another friend of hers was visiting and she said that she was concerned because she was in her late 30s and struggling to meet someone. She is Christian, goes to church, I can't say much more because I only just met her. She's very attractive. I'm so surprised that she would have a hard time. I told her the concept of looking for a Mr. Alright and she was fascinated with the idea. I told her:
Mr. Alright is a great guy, but he's not perfect. He's attractive to you, but he's not Brad Pitt. He's Alright because he's ALL right. Everything is right with him. (There's more...)
I don't think I will ever find this guy and there is another blog where they are saying some really mean things. I guess I have to consider what has happened. For about a year I've been getting unsolicited advice like that I should move to a smaller town in the middle of nowhere to find a man. Or that I should put an ad on Match.com and I will get hundreds of responses--so many that my mailbox will break down. I'm sorry that's as much of a fantasy as finding Mr. Perfect. It's a chimera, a dream, a fairy tale.
What if this person who is sending the advice is not living a right life. His blog entries are filled with hatred directed at women. What if he's always calling them really bad names? He's not going to church anymore, but he used to be in Bible college. So he kind of knows what is right, but he's not practicing himself.
What if you don't know him in person? What if he's never even seen a picture of you? What if he judges you for buying shoes when he owns a motorcycle--something that can cost as much as a car. When I think of the serious injuries and death from riding a motorcycle, it's scary. I know of people who have finally given up riding when a friend is killed. That's pretty irresponsible, way more than a pair of shoes and way more expensive with insurance and maintenance. What if he judges you for buying a pair of shoes, but he's got a gaming console that cost way more? I'm just speculating on that one. But I'm fairly certain that he has a big screen TV that probably cost a few thousand.
Would you take advice from this person?
What if the truth is that I'm not very attractive? I'm the girl that guys ask out because they think I'll say yes, not because they actually like me. More than one has actually told me this. They think because I'm not very attractive that I should be grateful and that I'll sleep with them easily. Then they realize I won't. And then they get mad. And then I dump them.
But if I'm really toxic like the guy I described says I am then I better find a really good job. I'm trying to decide between nun and lawyer...celibacy seems to help both.
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