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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I Need To See You Again

I went out to see a band recently and hung out with an entourage of friends after the show. It was fun. One of the guys was really super nice and got drinks for people, including me. Guys like that are very appealing because it is one of the ways guys show they care about people. Apparently, he liked me back, but I can't be too sure...as everyone was saying goodnight, he gave me a hug and said in my ear:

He: Are you coming out with the group next time? I need to see you again.

Wow! I was floored.
Me: Are you on Facebook?
He: No, I'm not. I don't do the online thing.

Sadly, this ended up being kind of joke and I didn't know how to take what he said. In olden days--just a few years ago--I would have flirtatiously offered my phone number. I wish I had said something else, like, that I liked what he said and maybe we could see each other again sooner. I wondered if I would ever see him again really. I mean, there is no way to communicate...I would just have to hang on until the entourage assembled yet again.

I sat at church this evening and out of the corner of my eye I saw movement across the church...IT WAS HIM! My heart skipped a beat. He went here and I never met him before? Wow!

I was wearing something cute. Check.
After the service, I was going to smile really big and say...
I couldn't think of what in the world I would say...what if he didn't really mean it? Should I say I liked what he said? Should I say it made an impression on me? Should I say...

And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement again...he and his friend left. I mean, seriously, guys don't go to the bathroom together. I just knew they were leaving. Panic. I thought I might try and catch them and walked quickly to the exit. I heard a car start in the distant parking lot. The only thing I could have done was run all the way down the hill and flag them down...

And that's just not my style. Too much. Seriously, that would just seem desperate. I wanted to, believe me I did. And say what?

I turned around to go back inside and the door was locked. I had to walk all the way around the church building to go back in the front. The whole time I felt like a fool. Maybe this guy says this kind of stuff all the time and doesn't think twice about it.

One of my dear friends said:
If he likes you, he'll find you. If you have some of the same friends, then he can find you, if he wants to.

Meanwhile, I fell for it in the same way I fall for alot of things. I'm vulnerable to these kinds of illusions because I hoped yet again that someone might have feelings for me. Perhaps for this Lenten season, I should give up hope.

I love comments!


child of God said...

Don't give up hope. I have so been where you are. I think your friend is right about if he wants to find you he will. But also if you could some feelers out. If you share friends you could casually bring up the fact you wouldn't mind hearing from him again.

The Invisible Seductress said...

I vote never give up hope!! Sounds like you'll def. see this guy again (and hopefully dressed cute again,,wink)!! Good luck!!


SavvyD said...

Thanks for the encouragement. I will try not to lose hope. Unfortunately, there are all new friends, so I don't want to drop any clues. If this guy was just saying whatever sounded good to him, I don't want anyone to think that I my emotions are completely tied up.

Anonymous said...

I forget who said it, but one of the POWs from VIetnam once said that he could spot the people who would not make it. It was the ones who would not give up hope. They were easy to spot and easy for their hopes to get crushed. The ones who knew they were in a hopeless situation had nothing left to lose, so every day was as good as it was going to get. Any improvement was welcomed.

But you aren't in anything like that situation so keep your hope alive. Either way, it will happen when it happens. Your hope is not relevent to the solution, only how you feel about your situation.

I have given up hope, but that is because I am older and wiser. You are too young to act like me.

lisa said...

Hey! Just found your blog. I love it. I would say, "Keep Hope Alive" but for me that has never really worked. Instead, "Let go and let flow" (From the movie, Something New) God's got plan, no matter what happens. xox