I went out to see a band recently and hung out with an entourage of friends after the show. It was fun. One of the guys was really super nice and got drinks for people, including me. Guys like that are very appealing because it is one of the ways guys show they care about people. Apparently, he liked me back, but I can't be too sure...as everyone was saying goodnight, he gave me a hug and said in my ear:
He: Are you coming out with the group next time? I need to see you again.
Wow! I was floored.
Me: Are you on Facebook?
He: No, I'm not. I don't do the online thing.
Sadly, this ended up being kind of joke and I didn't know how to take what he said. In olden days--just a few years ago--I would have flirtatiously offered my phone number. I wish I had said something else, like, that I liked what he said and maybe we could see each other again sooner. I wondered if I would ever see him again really. I mean, there is no way to communicate...I would just have to hang on until the entourage assembled yet again.
I sat at church this evening and out of the corner of my eye I saw movement across the church...IT WAS HIM! My heart skipped a beat. He went here and I never met him before? Wow!
I was wearing something cute. Check.
After the service, I was going to smile really big and say...
I couldn't think of what in the world I would say...what if he didn't really mean it? Should I say I liked what he said? Should I say it made an impression on me? Should I say...
And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement again...he and his friend left. I mean, seriously, guys don't go to the bathroom together. I just knew they were leaving. Panic. I thought I might try and catch them and walked quickly to the exit. I heard a car start in the distant parking lot. The only thing I could have done was run all the way down the hill and flag them down...
And that's just not my style. Too much. Seriously, that would just seem desperate. I wanted to, believe me I did. And say what?
I turned around to go back inside and the door was locked. I had to walk all the way around the church building to go back in the front. The whole time I felt like a fool. Maybe this guy says this kind of stuff all the time and doesn't think twice about it.
One of my dear friends said:
If he likes you, he'll find you. If you have some of the same friends, then he can find you, if he wants to.
Meanwhile, I fell for it in the same way I fall for alot of things. I'm vulnerable to these kinds of illusions because I hoped yet again that someone might have feelings for me. Perhaps for this Lenten season, I should give up hope.
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