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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Savvy Advice About Long Lashes

Long eyelashes are everywhere. Even the evening news covered the latest in products such as Allergan's Latisse. Lash Serums--I don't know if they all work, but Athena Bioscience Lash Serum does. I have been using it for a few months and noticed my lashes are longer and don't fall out as often. Saks Fifth Avenue has a comparable lash serum that runs for $150. Beat the system and get it for $87 and free shipping at www.MDSkinShop.com.

Don't want to order online? Go to Nordstrom for Intuit's product, though I can't vouch for it , you can return it at the store. As a bonus to you, there is no need for a prescription or a visit to a quack beauty doctor for a prescription to get Latisse by Allergan or their old product, Lumigan. Both of those are actually drugs for treating glaucoma. The longer lashes are a side effect. Even Jan Marini who makes a $160 lash serum is against the stuff saying her product is more economical. Allergan, of course, tried to sue. Read about the controversy.

Find out even more about the products by searching around on the internet. There are many sites that review beauty products such as www.Carefair.com which discussed prescription products for lash growth. Watch out for anything that is too inexpensive as it may not be a quality product. I had a severe allergic reaction to one product and had to throw it away. I was also allergic to the mascara they made. It's up to you to decide what is worthwhile to you.

As per usual, I get nothing for making any recommendations. But please always use my Savvy Search, or anything else that pops up on this page with sincere thanks from me.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

How Far Is Too Far?

Mars Hill Church of Seattle, WA was on Nightline. Does the pastor go too far and talk too much about sex? I think he might. Yes, it's true that those who are married should enjoy sex, but talking so freely about sex in a public forum is not only lewd, but impolite and indelicate. I might be too old fashioned for my own good. I would rather people excuse themselves to go to the bathroom than say they have to take a leak or a crap... click to Read More...

And what exactly will the church do when a brother or sister from the church starts talking about sex too freely on a date and makes his date uncomfortable? Then she'll have to face him in youth group or the young adult group and explain to everyone how he creeped her out. Or the reverse with a girl telling too much to a guy. And what about the temptation that it raises in a hypersexualized environment like we have today in the media and now at church.

I just left an Episcopal Church where more than once I blushed hotly while those around me discussed things that they had done that weekend. They were mostly in general terms, but I still didn't want to hear about it. Mark Driscoll of the Mars Hill Church doesn't just talk about sex in general terms, they show video snippets of him talking specifically about positions and other graphic details. Sure, I'm not completely innocent, but I really don't want to talk about it or listen to others talk about it all so graphically. I would want to talk about it with my husband because he will be my lover. Other than that, I'll pass. Not everyone understands that nowadays as I encountered previously when I wrote Let's Talk About Sex--Or Not. I don't want church sermons to make me feel like I'm watching the Man Show or Jimmy Kimmel Live where I laugh at the naughty parts and feel guilty because it's patently offensive at times. But even the naughty parts of those shows aren't graphic.

I've felt like I was in a nightclub while at church and I didn't like it. As much as this church is growing, I want my church experience to be holy, uplifting, sacred and set apart. And there are many of us who are returning to liturgical churches because we desire that, too.

Check it out yourself:
Nightline Faith Matters

Article about Pastor Dude

I don't know where the video is, but here's hoping that the church will post it.


Love and Mystery Shopping

Can you find love at work? Well, maybe. Perhaps if you are working on a mystery shop, they don't know that you are working. I met one guy that way. I called to set an appointment to go to a time share presentation...wouldn't you know it that the guy setting my appointment gave me his personal cell phone number? I didn't believe he would do that. It must be just a sales line, right? Wrong...

He called me the next morning. I thought he was calling me in a professional capacity when in actuality...

Savvy: So, yeah. I did go to the presentation. Were you going to ask me how it was?
Phone: Um, actually, no.
Savvy: Wait. So why are you calling me? Is it in a professional capacity?
Phone: Um, well...
Savvy: Are you still waking up?
Phone: Yes. I am. I called you first thing.
Savvy: Oh wait, I get it. You're calling me in an un-professional capacity.
Phone: Is that OK with you?
Savvy: Actually yes, yes it is.


He sent me his picture via cell phone and asked for mine. We had a few conversations about meeting. I expressed hesitation. He had been telling me how much he liked me already, that he was ready to find a special girl and get married. He told me he thought I could be that girl. That's crazy. But I started thinking about the musical Bells Are Ringing where the answering service girl lands a wealthy actor.

Savvy: What if you don't like how I look?
Phone: The way I feel about you, I don't care how you look. You could be totally ugly. I want to be with you for your amazing personality.
Savvy: Really? Wow, that's great to hear.
Phone: My friends are saying that I shouldn't do this because I was working when I got your number. I could lose my job.
Savvy: No. I won't tell on you, don't worry.
Phone: I told them you weren't like that.


How could I report him when I was equally guilty?

I finally felt comfortable enough to send my picture and then never heard from him except for a lame excuse about how he hadn't checked his email. Yeah, and I was born yesterday. It's OK. It was nice and flattering.

But even before I sent my picture, I knew I was more in love with the story than the actuality. How romantic to have a man fall in love with you as a voice on the phone?!! How would you react if a guy revealed unsavory secrets?

Phone: Sorry I didn't call you until now, I was at church.
Savvy: That's great. I go to church too.
Phone: I try to make it, I'm trying to be a good Christian.
Savvy: That's awesome.
Phone: Savvy, can I tell you a secret?
Savvy: Sure.
Phone: You aren't judgmental, are you?
Savvy: I don't think so.
Phone: When I was in college I was in a porno.
Savvy: Wow, REALLY? Oh my God!
Phone: You said you wouldn't judge.
Savvy: Well, that isn't who you are now is it? Would you ever do something like that again?
Phone: No, I wouldn't. Though I have to admit I'm a very sexual person.
Savvy: Believe it or not, I sort of understand how someone might do something crazy like that.


I never know what to say when a guy starts telling me his very sexual. Lots of people say they are, but what exactly does that mean? All I can think is that its disrespectful to bring it up when we haven't even met. But I also thought that he's going to church and trying to clean up his life. Aren't we all trying to do better? Why is everything about sex? In any case, we never met. About a week after I last heard from him, my phone rang with his number. I didn't pick up. He didn't leave a message. So, apparently love and mystery shopping struck out despite the romantic beginning.



Saturday, January 24, 2009

Being More Loving... at least to myself.

I am being more loving. Sometimes, anyway. At least to myself. Sometimes you have to be harsh.

I went out with India a few times and heard a typical song and dance with the following lyrics: If I could be committed to anyone, it would be you. But I just can't because my divorce isn't final. **YAWN** As if I cared that much. Do they not realize that we have heard it all before? I ended it by just not calling. It seemed that he thought I wanted him to be my boyfriend. I didn't.
In fact, the last time we went out I had a queasy feeling in my stomach about being with him even though he was expressing concern over my recent unemployment. He also expressed concern that I had never been to his place--as if I didn't know what that meant. I just didn't want to spend my time with him any more.

I got a Merry Christmas text message. I got a Happy New Year text message. Whatever. I didn't answer.

Then he called. **SIGH** So I dealt with it.

India: Hi Savvy. Happy New Year.
Savvy: Oh, hi. Happy New Year.
India: Is this a bad time?
Savvy: No, it's an OK time. I need a break from entering reports.
India: Did you get my text messages?
Savvy: Yes. I did. (Did I care? No.)
India: Well how are you?
Savvy: Good. You?
India: I went to see my kids and spend some time with them. (He went on and on about the visit. He had been really concerned because his son was in an accident, so those are points in his favor.) Bought a condo...blah blah blah...
Savvy: That's nice.
India: So, how about you? Did you have a nice New Year's?
Savvy: Yes, I did. I had a great time and some Italian guy kissed me when it turned to the new year.
India: Oh, really?
Savvy: Then he told me I had too much makeup on.
India: Do you have any special wishes for the New Year?
Savvy: Yes...
India: Anything you can share?
Savvy: Yes. Maybe this year I will meet a decent guy who is ready for a relationship.


In other words, not you. The goodbyes were awkward and stilted. I gave him the ultimate in kiss offs that shows no intent to spend time with him on purpose. He never did listen when I said I just wanted to be friends.

Savvy: Hey, so I'll see you around.


Sunday, January 18, 2009

A Graceful Exit


My troubles with the Episcopal Church are over for now. A spot opened up for me at a Catholic church and I took the opportunity to make more money and be an official church employee instead of an independent contractor.

However, troubled times abound... On my final Sunday, I heard word that some of the churches want to split from the main church due to recent political issues. The Archdiocese decided that if those churches should split that the property will remain with the Episcopal church.

There are things I will miss. The people were warm and friendly. I felt welcome socially. People liked me and I felt like I mattered to the other members of the choir. I will also miss singing soprano as I have an alto position for now. I will miss the Reverend Mother saying my name as she hands me the Body of Christ while I kneel at the altar with everyone in the choir. At the Catholic Church where I will be now, it's like a parade of a 1000 people every mass. (Of course I repent for my unloving acts previously mentioned.)

There are things I will not miss. I will not miss the sexual humor. I will not miss the unprofessional behavior such as everyone being tardy, being there for a really long time on Sunday, constant references to gay culture, celebration of gayness. I have gay friends. I have always gotten along with them. There are some I love with all my heart. Overt celebration of free sexuality flies in the face of what is Godly. I would have a difficult time with this in a straight choir. I had a hard time with the lack of spirituality in the choir as well. I consider myself to be the worst offender in some ways, but I will go along with a sincere prayer that someone leads. This rarely happened.

And the church where I am now has its own set of problems. One of the fathers likes the old Latin masses...and if you know anything about Vatican II changing the mass to the languages of the people from Latin, well this is very controversial. Quite a few people left the choir because they did not like what they see.

And in some ways, I have no right to judge anyone as less.


New Year's Resolution Update

Let's review. My resolutions got me a Miss America winning speech nomination from a guy I met.

1. To live better.
2. To eat better.
3. To love more.

But, the truth is that it's been a little bit hard to accomplish. I already told you about how I had violated one of them.

1. I have been living a little better. I have been taking care of the things I need to, working, and paying my bills.
2. Eating better--do french fries count as a vegetable? Does ben & Jerry's creme brulee ice cream count as milk? Is chocolate really good for you? Is being on my period a good excuse? I did have a salad for dinner, but is that enough to make up for the other evils?
3. Swing thinks I should change my New Year's resolution and we came up with a new saying together. He thinks I should resolve to tell people to fuck off.

Swing: With how angry you've been lately, you'd probably tell the man of your dreams to fuck off.
Savvy: I know. And I'm supposed to be Christian. I feel terrible.
Swing: Oh, I don't know.
Savvy: Do I sound like a swearing muppet or something.
Swing: Do you want to?
Savvy: Hyahh!! How dare you cross moi!! On the other hand, if I tell someone to fuck off and he still likes me, that's a really good sign.
Swing: That's a distinct possibility.
Savvy: If you love someone, tell them to fuck off. If they come back, they're yours. If they don't, it was never meant to be.


And that is a new twist on an old saying. I guess I just have issues. However, once we talked about all of these things, I felt better. I've been getting a little bit less hot-headed. Maybe it will lead to living better.


Friday, January 16, 2009

Love Is A Numbers Game

It seems like everywhere you turn, someone is saying, Love is a numbers game. Keep dating, because the more people you date, the more likely it is you will meet someone special.

But is it really how many people you meet, or is it that you don't pick anyone of those people because you aren't ready? I have a real set of numbers for those who think it's a numbers game, naysayer that I am...

1. How many people will you hurt before you start treating the people around you with dignity and respect?
2. How many people will you judge for material reasons?
3. How many times do you call someone before you give up?
4. How many people do you know who met and are still in love with the first person they married?
5. How many people do you know who married their high school sweethearts and are still married?
6. How many times will you end things with someone because you are selfish?
7. How many times will you devalue the people around you?
8. How many dates do you wait to sleep with someone?
9. How many times have you broken up with someone because you didn't get what you wanted?
10. How many of those things were shallow? (She didn't sleep with me right away. He didn't take me to the most expensive restaurant. Of course, if I were going to sleep with someone, he better take me to a really nice restaurant.)
11. How many people do you date even though you don't really like them just to have someone to date.
12. How many people do you date at once?
13. How long have you been able to make that last?

Maybe it wouldn't be about numbers or a game if we treated the people who were in our lives like they really matter to us.

We aren't numbers.
We aren't games.
We are people.
We matter.
Treat us with respect.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Medieval Times

Some of you may have heard of the Medieval Times restaurant with a dinner show and tournament. There are men--a king, knights, knaves, princes, and 1 princess. (Why is there always only one princess? It brings back memories of fighting to be Princess Leia.) It's exactly what you would love as a 12 year old. The horse riding is amazing. The stunts are really amazing. Not only is there some fun swordplay, they do stunts with the horses. This is truly dangerous stuff. I'd really like to know where they found guys who like riding horses when it seems like mostly women are doing that.

The knight assigned to our section threw carnations. He looked for someone who was ready to catch one and I stood up. It's nice to get flowers from a man.

Action, adventure, romance...
Ahh...romance. There's one thing that no one expected. Romance is funny.

I was sitting in a group with mostly women and one man. The prince had left his lady to fight dragons or Godknowswhat. The Princess stood in the middle of the arena saying, Where is my husband? I started laughing. Then the others right next to me started laughing. Then two more gave a dirty look and demanded to know, What's so funny? Why is she laughing. That made it just that much funnier. It's nice to have a good laugh about it.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

New Year, Same Old Me

I've already broken my new year's resolutions. Crap.

1. I did not live better. Well, maybe I did. I did mystery shop today and made some money. I didn't make it to the gym, but I took a nice long walk. I'm just upset over 2 & 3 since my resolutions are all intertwined.

2. I did not eat better. I had medium french fries with a hamburger at McDonalds. I had a chocolate crepe. But then, I also had a taco salad without finishing the chips or the shell. I had carrots as a snack.

3. I did not love more. I told a bitchy department store employee to fuck off. I then called customer service to complain that perhaps the employees had better things to do than to organize their personal calendars or have information for a social club out at work. Like, say, maybe they should be doing their actual jobs and if there isn't enough for them to do, maybe they don't need so many people. (Some details are not revealed because I wouldn't want that bitchy employee to rat me out.) My mom got a laugh out of it, so maybe I did show love after all--at least to my mom. And maybe not holding that anger inside IS living better. My mom said, sometimes you just have to tell someone how you really feel. It's important to listen to and respect your elders, right?

The jury is out...
There's always tomorrow...

Thursday, January 1, 2009

New Year, New You

Maybe it's about you, too. But in this case, it's about me. I'm going to keep my resolutions simple, broad and attainable.

1. To live better.
2. To eat better.
3. To love more.

1. I hope that in living better that I will make better choices. Just about anything could be living better--getting organized, accomplishing a goal, staying out of trouble, being choosy about the company I keep, exercising more, going to church, praying, getting organized. I am thinking about getting one of those "body bugs" they have a 24 hour fitness so that I know how many calories I am actually burning. Kind of neat.

2. If I make my goal to eat better, then losing weight will naturally follow. In fact, this is really a part of the first one.

3. Show love to myself and others every day in every way. This one is very biblical.

At the end of the day, I can ask myself:

1. Did I live better?
2. Did I eat better?
3. Did I love more?