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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Cowboy UP!!

Sometimes even what seems like the tallest tale is true. I went country line dancing for fun on Saturday and dragged my friend Nikki with me for the meetup group. In case you haven't been in awhile, it's changed a bit over time. There are line dances for Men In Black and some rap group teaches line dances with their songs--71 North Boyz. Around midnight it's cowboys and girls dancing ghetto freestyle. I go for the lessons, a little exercise and to hang out with meetup people. And yes, I met a real life Cowboy with a beer in one hand and a thumb splint on the other.

Savvy: Oh, no! Look at that!
I pouted and pointed at his thumb splint. He pouted back.
Savvy: How did you get that boo-boo?
Cowboy: Long story.
Savvy: I hope it gets better soon.

I kiss his hand. He smiles.
Cowboy: Aw, thank you, little lady.

Savvy: Well, I know how it is to have injuries. I'm gonna call you Boo-boo.
Cowboy: I hurt my shoulder recently. Had to have surgery.
Savvy: Me too.

I show him the scars on my shoulder.
Savvy: They've gotten way better. It's amazing what they can do arthroscopically nowadays.
Cowboy: I got a ton of injuries. Heck I've been stabbed, shot at, thrown off a bull...
Savvy: Wow! Are you serious?
Cowboy: Yes. I used to support my kids ridin' bulls. That's a cowboy. People ask me if I dance and I say, "No, ma'am." Seriously, we don't sit by the fire at the end of the day and dance this sh*t. Bunch of fags out there. Real cowboys don't dance.
Savvy: Well, then, you're a real cowboy, so what do you care? You don't have to prove anything to anyone.
Cowboy: That's right. If I weren't so fat now, I would still be ridin.
Savvy: You don't look fat to me. But I can see that you might be too big to ride bulls. I guess you have to be light. I'd be too scared to get hurt.
Cowboy: Yeah, I've been playing minor league football, so I've gotten really big.
Savvy: Yes, yes you have.

This is so interesting that I miss the line dances I know to hear more stories. The funny thing is that this isn't very flirtatious, I don't think a date or a kiss is on anyone's mind. I start poking at his shirt while we're watching the guys do the birthday dance. Boo-boo smiled.
Cowboy: What are you doing?
Savvy: Well, Boo-boo, I want to see the scars from when you were stabbed and shot and I was trying to find them.
Cowboy: Alright, fine. I'll show you.

He sets down his beer and untucks his shirt. Nikki's jaw drops. He pulls it up and shows me. It's hard to see in the light. He has the most amazing six pack ever, a few tattoos and the scars are impressive, too. This is fun.

Savvy: Wow.
Cowboy: I was shot when I was in a gang.
Savvy: You were in a gang?
Cowboy: Yes. That's how I got stabbed, too.
Savvy: Wow. Rodeo, football, gangs...what else do you do?
Cowboy: I'm a steel worker. That's how I hurt my hand. Almost cut off my thumb.
Savvy: Seriously? Steel worker?
Cowboy: Yep, I got the pictures from when I went to the ER.

He searches his phone to find them. It's pretty gory. I almost asked him to send me a copy. Should I have studied medicine? I'm fascinated.
Savvy: Awesome.

His friend comes by to collect him for a short time.
Nikki: Darn, where's our boy toy?
Savvy: He's not a toy, he's a man. Though, he is very entertaining.
Nikki: Do you even believe him?
Savvy: I don't know. Some of my stories must sound pretty wild to some people. I was a professional opera singer, schoolteacher, head injury salsa dancing, shoulder surgery...after awhile it sounds like blah, blah, BLAH, right?
Nikki: Meanwhile, we're missing all the line dances.
Savvy: It's OK, I'm terrified someone's going to hit my head on the dance floor.
Nikki: Really?
Savvy: Terrified. I know, not normal, huh?
Nikki: He's coming back.
Savvy: Awesome...hey, Boo-boo. We missed you. Tell us more.

Cowboy: I got plenty more, sorry I had to leave. My friend feels guilty because the injury is kind of his fault. He was in the middle of breaking up with this girl and he left me working on something by myself and that's when it happened. I've been working for him managing the company.
Savvy: So you help manage the company for him, too? That's a big change from rodeo.
Cowboy: My friend always asks me why I tell girls all of this stuff, since half of them think I'm lyin. If they don't believe me, shoot, they can always look me up on the internet.
Savvy: Well, I believe you, but now you have me curious about looking you up. I love rodeos.
Cowboy: Well, OK, I'm on YouTube.

He tells me how to find him. Nikki doesn't have much to say, but she looks amused.
Savvy: Alright Boo-boo, it was really great fun.
Cowboy: You are the sweetest thing.

I give him another get well kiss to his hand. He gives both me and Nikki a hug.

Nikki: I'm still trying to figure out how you got him to lift up his shirt.
Savvy: Oh, I don't know, I guess I can get people to do things sometimes because I'm sooooooo SWEEEEET. After all, I got you to come all the way up here for me.
Nikki: Yes, it's true.
Savvy: I hope you had fun.
Nikki: Boo-boo made it all worthwhile.

Look him up, I did. Sho 'nuff, he was being totally honest. I think it might be a lesson to me to take a man at his word--whatever that word might be. Listen long enough and you can tell. I have heard men sit across the table and confess that they were actually still married but hoping to be free really soon.

I really did want to see videos of my new friend getting thrown off a bull. There were no football pictures at his team's website, sadly. No, I won't post my secret cowboy's videos, after all, it's an anonymous blog. But, here's wishing Boo-boo a big Cowboy Up for his hand. He really ought to be more careful out there!

I love comments!


Ame said...

this is one of the funnest things i've read in a looong time!

i remember asking my country man husband if he could ride a horse ... he said, "I can saddle a horse." turned out they had cattle and he rode every day after school to work the cattle. duh, the man could obviously saddle a horse ... and ride a horse ... and kill and clean just about any animal walking or swimming ... and many other things. (btw - me, in my personality ... i'd have asked him to show me the scars, too!)

SavvyD said...

Yeah!! I'm so glad it tickled your funny bone!