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Monday, October 12, 2009

Another Night of Insanity

I am convinced that out of all the screenwriters out there who say they are working on a screenplay that 75% of them are insane. And don't get too mad at me because I haven't had a date in a few months and would never do this again.

Screen: I just left my job to work on screenwriting full time.
Savvy: Have you ever worked on a screenplay before?
Screen: No, this is my first one.
Savvy: Really? That is so coooool.

A year ago after 2 glasses of wine, a glass of champagne and just having barely survived an awful school year, it all made perfect sense.

And then the next time I saw him, I ended up getting together with that atrocious guy who pulled my hair. Boys, Boys, Boys: Boys at the Roller Rink

FADE IN: one year later...

When I saw this ghost from the past at Betty's birthday shindig, I tripped on Becky Sue's boyfriend's toes and was hugged by everyone at that table. I even greeted Pops though I'm still mad at him. He gave me a guilty look for things he said last time. And then I finally made my way over to Screen.

Savvy: So, are you still working on that screenplay?
Screen: Yes, actually I am.
Savvy: So, I meant to ask you what it was about.
Screen: It's about this guy who is going about his life and he realizes everyone is sleeping their way through it and he can see through everything at once.
Savvy: I want to hear more about it, but I need something to drink first. I'm trying to decide between the Belgian or the Half Moon.
Screen: I'm not much of a beer drinker.
Savvy: Oh, no worries.

I paid for my own beer. Usually a man uses this as an opportunity to show interest. I didn't write that rule, it just exists. I shrugged it off.

Savvy: I really want to hear more about this screenplay, so let's go outside.
Screen: It really is too loud.
Savvy: So how far along are you in that?
Screen: Well, I had a 1000 pages and then I worked it down to about 400.
Savvy: 400?

A successful screenwriter wrote a book which recommends only 110 pages. It's called, Save the Cat.

Screen: I moved to Tahoe so that really has helped me.
Savvy: Tahoe?
Screen: Yes, my doctor said I needed less stress in my life, so I decided to move.
Savvy: Doctor?
Screen: Well, yes, I have glaucoma and I'm on disability.
Savvy: Me too. I had shoulder surgery and it's taking forever to heal.

I showed him my scars.
Screen: Wow, that's from shoulder surgery? It doesn't look like much.
Savvy: Arthroscopic. It's taking longer to heal on the inside. So, tell me, have you read any books about screenwriting?
Screen: A book? What would I need that for?
Savvy: I read one called "Save the Cat" that gave me ways to structure the story and points to hit within it.
Screen: Why would I need that? I know movies.
Savvy: Um, oh, OK.

And that's the trouble with most people who are writing anything, there are things that everyone thinks they already know. Good luck. But somehow after one beer, this all made perfect sense, as did going to the beach to have a glass of wine.

Savvy: So, I'm just curious. What happened that night? I remember having a good time and then all of a sudden that was it
Screen: Do you want to know the truth?
Savvy: Well, yes. I mean, I remember some really nice kisses in there.
Screen: Yes, me too.
Savvy: So what happened?
Screen: You started acting flirty with another guy.
Savvy: Another guy? That was my friend. We're all friends.
Screen: Some guys would stay anyway, but it was a real turnoff to me.
Savvy: Why didn't you say anything?
Screen: I started seeing someone else after that.

What really happened? It was a combination of things. He started acting weird and angry. An acquaintance told me later that Screen asked her out that same night, but she had seen him with me so she told him no. Hmmm...sounds like someone else was flirting and misinterpreting.

Savvy: I was tipsy that night. I can barely remember what happened.
Screen: Well that's what happened.
Savvy: So what happened with the woman you were seeing?
Screen: I told her I was leaving for Tahoe and after a year of being together, the best she could do when I asked her to give me a reason to stay was tell me the weather was really nice.
Savvy: If you had been my boyfriend for a year I would have told you I needed you to stay.
Screen: Wow.
Savvy: So how about we make a deal and I don't talk to anyone else tonight but you.
Screen: Deal. It's been a really nice surprise running into you again.
Savvy: Awesome.
Screen: Do you want to go to the Angels game with me tomorrow?
Savvy: OK, sure.
Screen: How about we take a walk on the beach? I have a bottle of wine.
Savvy: It's really late.
Screen: It's not far...

Somehow that led to a blanket, more kissing than I intended to do and feeling bad about it. He wanted to cuddle with me and though I relented for awhile, all I could think of was Seattle and that there was more for me in Seattle than in Tahoe. I tried thinking that it was Seattle holding me, but it wasn't working. Besides, Seattle and I are only friends.

Savvy: Wow, it's really getting late and I have to get home.
Screen: Just a few more minutes.
Savvy: Um, OK....

Silence for awhile. I got up
Savvy: I really can't. Don't you have to get a hotel room?
Screen: I was just going to sleep in my car, or maybe go to Denny's for the night. I don't get a check for another few days.
Savvy: Um, oh.
Screen: Come to Tahoe.
Savvy: Um, I don't know.

Overnight I started to put it together. He told me he just turned 50. He left work, not so much to write a screenplay, but because he has other health issues. He didn't have the money for a hotel room for himself. I so don't want to go back to living like a Bohemian. Plus, he lives in Tahoe and I would got there to... to what? Seattle is already bad enough. How do I explain why I want to ditch an Angels game with this guy to go to church instead? How do I explain that I don't want to see him again because I don't think he is marriage material. Decision time...my phone was ringing.

Savvy: Hey what's up? How are you?
Screen: I just woke up.
Savvy: So where did you sleep?
Screen: By the beach, in my car.
Savvy: Um, really?

So, in addition to everything else I had been pondering, he would expect me to sit next to him at an Angels game, sweating profusely in the hot sun, getting a sunburn while noticing that he reeked distinctly of goat from not having showered? I don't ###ing think so.

Savvy: Listen, I feel really bad about this, but a girlfriend of mine asked me to go to church with her and have lunch after, so I'm not gonna make it.
Screen: So you waited until an hour before we're supposed to be there to flake on me?
Savvy: I'm sorry. I just got out of the shower.
Screen: Let me get this straight. You're flaking on me?
Savvy: I forgot about the other plans.
Screen: An hour before we're supposed to be there?
Savvy: You asked me at the last minute.
Screen: But the whole point of us talking about it was so that you would come.
Savvy: I know and I feel really bad. You're probably going to be too angry with me to talk to me later.

And I would be so OK with that. I felt guilty. How would I explain? I need to go to church because I'm a bad person and I want to try and live better and I just don't see how going to an Angels game with some guy I made out with last night when I was imagining someone else is going to make me feel any better.

I told my mom about canceling as I left to go to church.
Savvy: He got mad at me for canceling, but I just didn't want to sit through the game.
MyMom: Anger is a bad sign.
Savvy: And he lives in Tahoe anyway. I would go there to what?
MyMom: You better not.
Savvy: I know, it's just that I felt really bad.
MyMom: Why? It's not like it hasn't been done to you plenty of times.

Moms have such a way of making things feel better--and she didn't even know the whole story. Maybe the whole story doesn't really matter.

For those who say I should have been completely honest: I really did want to go to church. And please tell me if there is a NICE way of telling someone that you don't see a future with them because you don't see them wanting to get married and have a family with their present financial and health situation, don't want to visit him in Tahoe and don't want to have sex with him on those visits.

Canceling sent a clear enough message: Yep, I'd rather go to church than go to an Angels game with you even if it means you never talk to me again--in fact, I hope you don't. Clear. Crystal clear.

Note: this happened two months ago at time of posting. What else is clear to me is that people DO NOT DESERVE SECOND CHANCES!
I love comments!


ClarenceComments said...

I've never been disgusted by your behaviour until now. And I'm not even Christian. People don't deserve second chances? You don't deserve complimentary comments, and you are not getting one from me.

I think you need to re-examine your attitudes on some things. So far this blog has been one big whine fest about how the vast majority of men aren't good enough morally for you. This guy might have had money problems but you treated him abominably. Why don't you go find a sugar daddy? Really, your behaviour isn't good enough for a church.

SavvyD said...

Hmmm, Clarence, or CommanderTact or king of your own whinefest blog---

I didn't have a problem with "some money problems" it was more than that. I recalled that he had anger issues, I wasn't completely certain he was sane. He showed signs that he was an angry person, he picked up on another girl the night we met. I didn't want a long distance relationship with someone in Tahoe who wasn't completely sane, he most likely won't recover since he is on disability. Perhaps if I were more of a feminist I would be in a position to provide for myself AND this guy who is 50 and on disability. Looking to the future, that's the position that I would be in. The MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) would feel pretty much the same about it if the roles were reversed. The gamers would all be after at least an 8.

Anyone may leave any relationship at any time. You included. And you of all people should know you have to accept a man for who he is and if you can't you should move on. A man just told me that on Saturday.

ClarenceComments said...

You had a responsibility to reject him properly and you failed to do so. At this point, the fact that you "think" all sorts of self-serving drivel to make yourself feel better is irrelevent.

How your mind went from a baseball game to a marriage is one such thing. But then someone who thinks that attending a social event with a person puts them on a path that would require them to marry the other person is best advised to just stay home.

Treating him better would have cost you nothing, hell, had you went to the game and then dropped him would have cost you nothing, instead you search about for reasons to try to disqualify the guy as even being worthy of humane treatment.

Big fail.

SavvyD said...

You mean had you "gone" not had you "went".

I rejected him quite properly and SOUNDLY.