It's time to celebrate what I'm really good at!! If there's one thing I've been good at on and off throughout the years, it's been gaining weight. This is dedicated to all those people who say they try to gain weight and just can't. It's time to turn that attitude around! YES YOU CAN!!
1. Hookup with Ben & Jerry's. Make them you best friends and meet with them EVERY NIGHT. In fact, have a pint of Ben & Jerry's as a meal replacement.
2. Exercise is good for you, even when you want to gain. Studies show that people don't lose when they exercise because they feel they can eat more since they are exercising. So, go to the gym, just make sure you meet up with Ben & Jerry after.
3. Take prescription meds like Prozac. Anti-depressants and other psychotropic medications are known to cause weight gain because they stimulate appetite.
4. Drink soda, not water. Thirsty? Have a soda. Tired? Have some pop.
5. Get the large latte with heavy cream. Everyone knows that coffee drinks are loaded with hidden calories.
6. Have a muffin or a bagel with that coffee. Bagels are like 5 servings of bread. Muffins are loaded with oil--cupcakes are less fattening.
7. Super-size everything. You heard me! In fact, do this for lunch every day. Don't forget to order the regular coke!
8. Take the elevator, not the stairs. Avoid exercise when you can, even though it's OK to exercise.
9. If you don't have an injury, pretend to have one. A sprained ankle, messed up knee, out of whack shoulder. Stop doing those things which you now take for granted because of that injury, even though it isn't real. If you do have an injury, this is very easy to accomplish.
10. Remember, the most weight gain comes from eating just a little bit more than you need. If you eat 100 calories extra per day, it works out to 10 lbs at the end of the year. Just do the math:
100 calories per day
x30 days per month
x12 months in a year
/3500 calories in 1 pound of fat
Don't expect it to happen overnight. Be patient. Soon everyone will be telling you how great you look. Ready, set, GO EAT!!
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