They're tired of waiting. I drew out one of the girls who has been attending the church her whole life. By guy's standards she has an incredible body. She wears tasteful clothing and nearly always wears heels. As she sat across from me she said:
Godly: There are some really great guys in the group, but they just aren't ready and I'm tired of waiting. It's hard, but this is my home church. I just wish they would grow up and start asking us out.
Savvy: Do you think feminism plays a role in that?
Godly: Well, my mom married when she was 37. She had suitors, but she turned them down because she had other things she wanted to do. I didn't exactly want to follow in her footsteps, but I'm still waiting for the right guy, some who I'm attracted to. She ended up not marrying the love of her life.
Savvy: From what I can see there are alot of really good-looking guys in the group.
Godly: Yes, and alot of actors.
Savvy: Oh, yes, that's true of LA. What do you think it is?
Godly: If we went anywhere else in the country we would all be married. Texas, Utah. But not here.
Elektra: It just seems that the guys aren't really interested in relationships from about 19-32. It seems like they are more interested in bonding with other men.
Savvy: Are we not encouraging them enough?
Godly: I get flirted with, but it stops there.
Elektra: I just think of it as a great place to make friends.
Savvy: So, what about the whole series on dating?
Godly: It seems like it was just wishful thinking on their parts. I mean, it makes sense to find someone at church since we believe the same things. Unfortunately, it's just not happening.
Savvy: Well, I exchanged emails with one guy when he asked. But I had already put my foot in my mouth and actually told a guy that I like him.
Godly: I don't see the point in doing that in my situation. The guy I like is moving and we've known each other for years. He didn't pursue me in all of that time.
Savvy: I just wonder if it might make a difference. Maybe he just doesn't know. I wasn't dealing with the same situation, but I just had to say something to this guy. I mean, my heart skipped a beat every time I saw him. It's just something about him.
Godly: Wow, really? It's not quite like that for me with him, but it is a big deal. Does he go here?
Savvy: Umm, no. He goes somewhere else. He lives in another state. In any case, it's complicated.
I try my best to throw her off the trail since she was also friends with Seattle. I doubt she would even notice Seattle the way I have because he might be too average-looking for her, too geeky. I fear being laughed at for my preference, so I say nothing. I've pulled this on other occaisions. As soon as I say I like the nerdy ones, a list of names pops up. Elektra knows, she just doesn't know how bad I have it for him. As long as Elektra doesn't slip the info to her later.
I was sitting with another girl who is really cute and about 22. She is fit and has freckles. She is totally wholesome--the kind of "good woman" that so many are seeking. We started talking about relationships.
Cutesy: I haven't been on a date since I was 16.
Savvy: Wow, 16? that's a long time.
Cutesy: Well, I'm sorta used to it. Whenever I really like a guy, I get too nervous to talk to him.
Savvy: Oh, no.
Somehow we were in a place that everyone walked by and were joined by a guy who talked to us about places to go hiking. Suddenly the group was Hiker, Cutesy and Intern.
Savvy: So we were talking about relationships. I was just wondering what your take is.
Hiker: Well, I was engaged for a few years, and it didn't work out.
Hiker: Yes, she wasn't very stable. I hoped it would get better but it never did.
Savvy: So, are you seeing anyone now?
Hiker: I basically don't want to. I need some time to myself before I try again.
It makes sense. I needed time after I broke off my engagement. Sometimes people come to church for healing from brokenness. Then we talked about hiking. When Hiker left, I decided to try a little magic.
Savvy: He's really cute, what about him?
Cutesy: Oh, I don't know.
Savvy: I can talk to him...
Intern: What about you? Aren't you single? Why don't you go out with him?
Savvy: I was just thinking for her. They had really nice energy talking to each other.
Intern: Yes, but he's a good guy.
Savvy: Oh, I don't think he would be interested in me. Also there is someone I have feelings for.
Savvy: Ummm. I don't want to say. It's complicated. He doesn't go here.
Cutesy: Is he Christian?
Intern: Good, then we'll let it slide.
Enough people already know (about 4) and when more find out, let's just say it will be interesting. Crying at church the week after he left and saying he wasn't there didn't seem to tip anyone off. Good. But going up to Seattle will.
I'll let you all know how my further investigations go...
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