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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Unattainable Beauty Standards

Women have often complained about the unattainable beauty standards of today. When there is a 10 out there, who would settle? Why should we even look at a guy who doesn't have washboard abs? What girl sitting next to you in church under fluorescent lights would measure up? Even the celebs don't measure up without the lighting and makeup at photo shoots, onscreen and on the red carpet. With all of those things, even the homely girl sitting next to you at church would look like a treasure. What makes me angry is that men and women alike are being misled by something we can never attain!
More photos
Scar Jo looking average. What can I say for myself? It's 107 and smoky from the fires in LA. Shouldn't be going to the gym.

Savvy's "Problems with Relationships"

After my migraine lifted enough to restore personality (Thank you Motrin!), I told relationship stories to girls while we waited backstage to sing in the Beethoven 9th Symphony (Ode to Joy). They were cracking up the whole time. What's even funnier, is talking to some instrumentalist/band teacher/Catholic guy who gave me a very warm hello. It turned out he is on his third marriage which is ALSO having problems. He scratched his chin and said, I think I should set you up with a friend of mine...though I would have to find out if he's on the market. Oh? Is that the way guys on their 3rd marriage ask a girl for her phone number? Like a band teacher/instrumentalist's salary can really support 3 ex wives, a child and a 4th wife? What is this, Big Love? No thanks! And NO "problems." It's just that simple.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Sister Savvy Posts It All

A video about nuns sent by my aunt:

Led to another:

And another:

I *still* feel no calling.

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Sunday, August 23, 2009

Love 200 years ago Jane Austen Style

Ah, love! Somehow the rumor has been that all marriages 200 years ago, nay just a scant 50 years ago were the most vile arrangements imaginable. They couldn't possibly work out or result in actual love. Inconceivable! In our modern fiction, we see echos, reflections and exaggerations of ourselves. Jane Austen's quaint works of fiction offered just such a reflection. It wasn't always pretty and certainly there were obstacles to perfect felicity. I have just read her earliest novel, Northanger Abbey and present to you some notes of interest for both men and women.

Rakish Behavior:
The heroine--a minister's daughter, Catherine, speaks to her love interest, Henry. She was staying with his family, getting to know all of them. She speaks of her former friend, Isabella Thorpe who was engaged to her brother, James, and dropped him for Henry's brother, Captain Frederick Tilney:

'I see what she has been about. She is a vain coquette and her tricks have not been answered. I do not believe she ever had any regard either for James or for me, and I wish I had never known her.'
'It will soon be as if you never had,' said Henry.
'There is but one thing I cannot understand. I see that she has had designs on Captain Tilney, which have not succeeded; but I do not understand what Captain Tilney has been about all this time. Why should he pay her such attentions as to make her quarrel with my brother, and then fly off himself?'
'I have very little to say for Frederick's motives, such as I believe them to have been. He has vanities as well as Miss Thorpe, and the chief difference is, that, having a stronger head, they have not yet injured himself. If the effect of his behavior does not justify him with you, then we better not seek after the cause.'
'Then you will suppose he never cared about her?'
'I am persuaded that he never did.'
'And made only so for mischief's sake?'
Henry bowed his assent.
'Well, then, I must say that I do not like him at all. Though as it turned out so well for us, I do not like him at all. As it happens, there is no great harm done, because I do not think Isabella has any heart to lose, But suppose he had made her fall very much in love with him?'
'But we must first suppose Isabella to have any heart to lose - consequently to have been a very different creature; and, in that case, she would have met with a very different treatment.'
'It is very right that you should stand by your brother.'
'And if you would stand by yours, you would not be much distressed by the disappointment of Miss Thorpe. But your mind is warped by an innate general principal of integrity, and therefore not accessible to cool reasonings of family partiality, or a desire for revenge.'
Catherine was complimented out of further bitterness. Frederick could not be unpardonably guilty, while Henry made himself so agreeable. She resolved on not answering Isabella's letter, and tried to think no more of it.

Alphas and Betas
In our modern terms, Catherine stood by her Beta men in her own Beta way. "Alphas" were shown for what they were and exposed as vain pretenders very quickly. I'm sure they were quite entertaining at parties, but those with any sense kept their distance. And even "Alpha" ladies with poor judgment were typically kept in check. However, both characters were shown to be equally vain. Nowadays, it's hard to tell who is who and often all ladies and all men are lumped together by both sexes and treated with ill regard.

Gold Diggers?

Catherine is sent away from the Tilney family without being given a reason. We later discover that reason: Isabella's brother, wanting Catherine for himself and being an unlikeable braggadocio, bragged about how much money Catherine's family had to General Tilney. Then later said how little. Somehow this was attributed to Catherine. But Henry knew Catherine to be of good character, offered her his hand in marriage and convinced his father of the truth. So yes, there were issues of dowry (the money a family presented to a man for the care of their daughter), but there were also issues of character. It turns out that Catherine had a good character and a generous dowry, though not an excellent one. Dowry, what a scary word! But that's how families helped each other out.

Courtship and Marriage.

Huge Courtship? Nay friends, nay. None at all. Walks in the country, a carriage ride perhaps. His sister or father were present the whole time as if it were perfectly natural and normal. Huge wedding? Nay again. In fact, it was hardly mentioned. 'Henry and Catherine were married; the bells rang and everyone smiled.'

The Age for Marriage:
The heroine was 18 and married the hero aged 26; 8 years difference. No one batted an eye over this and accused men of taking too long. Men did what men did and that was considered to be OK.

Savvy Advice:
Men, if you are ever talking to a woman who says she loves Jane Austen's novels, that is code for you to look more closely at that girl. Jane Austen's heroines are of good character or learn it quickly. The rakish men are held responsible for behaving badly and being the exception rather than the rule. Good men are shown to be good and desirable for marriage. And, yes, to be sure, no man would ever dress that way for fear of being labeled "gay", but I assure you they were manly fashions in their day and that real men did go to tea--to meet the ladies, of course! As for me, I always observe what a man says about his family and how he treats his sister. I know that most of the time, he will treat me about that well. And lastly, everyone did attend church on Sunday. Though the Bible was not quoted, in every Jane Austen story the fruit of a character
s spirit showed who they really were--as it is in real life.

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Saturday, August 22, 2009

Is-shoes--Should I keep the Prada?

Savvy breaks for frivolity, she has Is-shoes. Buy me! I understand shoes in all the languages they speak. Spanish: Comprame! Italian: Compratemi. I bought some lovely Prada shoes at a deep discount and am now faced with some options.

I normally take a 36.5 or a 37 in European sizes. These are a 36. I'm certain I would have taken a 37 in this design. There is no other pair like it before or since. $199 down from $600. They go with anything and are beautiful!!! Maybe they'll stretch...

I also bought a pair of pink metallic sandals, also Prada. The size is right. A bargain at $109.90 down from $330. It's just that I feel guilty--

Because I bought a Ferragamo bag at $498 down from $1400. I'm totally keeping it. I got it for practically a knockoff price without the knockoff guilt. The pinks don't quite match so I'm faced with a choice.

Do I really need all of this crap? Ummm, no.
Why did I get this crap? It's complicated. I would much rather have Seattle in my life. I was so distraught over his departure that the handbag was, in a word, irresistible.
Can I return this crap? Yes, I can still return the Prada. In fact that amount would easily purchase a trip to Seattle...Though that is fraught with emotional dangers.

Turns out I showed them to someone who works at Nordstom and they thought something else looks better on me. Done. They go back.

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Friday, August 21, 2009


I am frustrated. Not just any old frustrated, life altering frustrated. Outrageously angsty. F R U S T R A T E D. I narrowly dodged an accident and still ended up with whiplash. This gave me some serious feeling of panic because it's my 3rd whiplash injury in 3 years, and other complications. I'm finally off anti depressants and I feel different. In some ways better. In some ways concerned. I am finally losing weight because I am off of it, but I'm frustrated that I gained 30 lbs though I have lost 6 of it. There was some to lose before the 30 I started talking about. It takes time...

I need a new hobby. I'm totally out of shape. Seriously, going to the gym is one of the loneliest things you can do. Maybe I really do need to find a hobby though I scoffed at it before. Salsa dancing, swing dancing...those are out. Though the only ones I can think of are solitary ones--going to the gym, reading, even blogging. All solitary.

I just reconnected with my very first best friend, not solitary. We ran around Old Town having lunch, eating cupcakes, having a drink with a friend of hers, running around to different places that have organic gardens and grilling a squash that she grew. There is a great ease of being with someone who accepts you no matter what. .

I want to go up to Seattle. I'm afraid I've shared too much and felt too much for someone I barely met before leaving. Being kind of in this new weird mood, I doubt myself. As I wrote this this, they discussed the "Seattle Amnesia Mystery Man." How strange. As I wrote him an email, Seattle appeared on TV.

I have a deposition and mediation coming up for an accident I was involved in, the memories of which give me the heebie jeebies. I got whacked in the head while salsa dancing at an ex friend's house. In truth, I've been a bit off ever since. And that goes back to the beginning of the post.

There is a place in my heart where only God can exist and designer shoes and purses cannot fill that void--believe me, I've tried.

This month I will finally pay my bills off. Yeah! It's the silver lining in all the clouds.

I love comments!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Important Stuff from Seattle

Hi Savvy,

Glad things are going well for you at the church and the volunteer work is going well.

I've been getting involved in X Church a bit more. I found their young adult group and they seem like nice people. It's pretty good size. Looking at a couple of other churches too.

Take care, keep up the good work, and get involved where you feel led.

This came at a time when I was in tears over not having heard from him in a week and a half. I went out dancing with friends and had several men approach me and be interested in me. The whole time I was thinking about him. When I arrived home, I checked my email. There was more to it, but this was the most important to me. I want to be with a man who speaks to me the way he does. It is so rare. It draws me like a bee to a flower. I just wish I knew if he were interested beyond that.

I love comments!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Sex for the First Time

SEX... What does it mean in a relationship? Why don't people seem willing to talk about it? I've had some seriously bad advice from alot of people about "reeling" a guy in by having sex on a third date if you feel a connection. Right... I've had a hard time finding someone I feel that connected to. On Oprah, two teens were grilled about sex and whether or not they had talked about things like frequency, condom use, birth control, how long of a relationship they expect to have after, what they would share with their friends and whether or not they would still want to have sex knowing the answer..

One guy told me he thought it would be fun. Fun? That's it? Then he got angry with me about our BS high school relationship. I don't have to have sex to have fun. Tall wanted to be with me because he thought I was really cute. Really cute? I don't have to have sex to know that I'm "really cute." When my ex, Chris, started talking to me about it, alot of things came up that made me not want to be intimate with him, even though I was away from the Lord. Mainly, he wasn't a long-term relationship guy. I realized that we weren't even close to marriage. Secondly, he told me he had herpes--which you can get even with a condom. I'm not going to risk that much just to keep a man for a short term thing.

Most people don't talk about it, they just make the moves. Maybe because the truth hurts, This relationship might be just for tonight, because I haven't done it in a long time, not that you are really special, it's not like you haven't done it before, it's not like all girls aren't on birth control, right?--and if you don't do it right there definitely won't be another time.

The sexual revolution was supposed to bring freedom from rules.
So why do I feel like the rule is that I have to by the 3rd date?
How many guys will that be before I find someone?
No seriously, how many? 20? 40?
Why am I getting this pressure even from guys who call themselves Christians?
3 dates? 3? Are you joking?
Would any reasonable person go into business with someone that soon?

Having fun and being really cute aren't good enough reasons for me to have sex. It has a higher purpose than that.

I love comments!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I entered a contest

I entered a contest with some of my funnier stories from dating and living life. Drop on by and check it out. Enter yourself if you are a writer. Malady--you have some great ones!!

I entered:
But I'm Not Pregnant where I give the ER staff a lesson on the Birds and the Bees.

Visit: A Woman's World
This link skips the animations and goes straight to the stories..

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Saturday, August 15, 2009

Happy Feet

One of the key problems with high heels is that they put so much pressure on the forefoot. Some high end designers understand how to balance the shoe so it has height and supports the natural arch. However, many attractive shoes very quickly become too uncomfortable to wear. When I was dancing alot, the standard was 2-3 inch heels. Even though mine were only 2.25 inches, I still had foot pain. My forefoot pain dramatically and noticeably diminished when I placed Insolia inserts in my shoes. I pronounce them totally worth a shot. You can find them in drug stores (maybe) or you can order them online directly from Insolia.com.

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Friday, August 14, 2009

Married People Talk About Relationships Too Much

I am tired of hearing that I talk about dating too much; or that I talk about wanting a boyfriend too much. Here are anonymized snippets from (In Your) Facebook of married people who talk about their families/husbands/wives too much. It's freaking annoying.

* Such a classic beauty, I am truely blessed. (Posted with a pic of his wife)
* wondering how I landed such a beautiful and intelligent girl as my wife when I didn't deserve it?! (I knew him in high school, he really didn't.)
* Husband & I are drinking Sangria, Enamored & jazzin' out with our 2 cats after our son's bedtime. Bless you all! (sounds like a great evening.)
* is a lucky girl. Went out with a friend tonight and came back to new shelves. Hurrah for Husband!
* Kid # 3 came home sick from church camp with a sore throat.. :( workin on gettin her better.
* so happy my Husband wanted to go out on a dinner date tonight ♥
* watching my daughter trying out for softball. MAN these 10 year olds can play!!!!!
* all is good now! Girls are doing a spend the night with a friends, boys have been down for 3 hours. Outside, having a glass of wine with the wife listening to Pandora radio on an iPhone, gotta love technology!!
* Just had dinner, well wine and cheese (fabulous cheese), with my love out on the deck. Kids playing at the neighbors...Just us talking, watching the sun go down. Life is beautiful.....
* Stoked 4 weekend.. Kids off to Church Camp.. Hubby's Bday Today!! Happy Birthday Babe.. YOur Amazing to me.. !!!
* is gonna hang with my sister and kids at my mom's pool!
* is celebrating her daughter!! happy birthday to my golden baby....7 years old!!
* riddle me this.....if I'm so loud, why can't my kids ever hear me??? (funniest ever)

And then, of course, there are the pictures, pictures, pictures.


I much prefer the generic:

* Had a great dinner out.
* All packed and ready to go to Napa tomorrow ! Yeah!
(we can guess that those involve husbands. We get it. We're single, not stupid.)

But it's not all fun and games:

* Just wondering if anything else can go wrong? AC broke, dishwasher broke, gas leak in main line, wasp nest in bathroom exhaust fan, 2 broken sprinklers, swingset broke, son is having some issue with his foot, cramps or something, jury duty. I am sure I am missing something!!! REALLY?!
* Wife just called and said they also found a leak in the sewer line! I am so done! Anybody want a 1929 Spanish style? Needs work!!!!! ;)

At least there's balance to it.

I love comments!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Savvy Gets the Girls at Church to Tell Her Stuff

They're tired of waiting. I drew out one of the girls who has been attending the church her whole life. By guy's standards she has an incredible body. She wears tasteful clothing and nearly always wears heels. As she sat across from me she said:

Godly: There are some really great guys in the group, but they just aren't ready and I'm tired of waiting. It's hard, but this is my home church. I just wish they would grow up and start asking us out.
Savvy: Do you think feminism plays a role in that?
Godly: Well, my mom married when she was 37. She had suitors, but she turned them down because she had other things she wanted to do. I didn't exactly want to follow in her footsteps, but I'm still waiting for the right guy, some who I'm attracted to. She ended up not marrying the love of her life.
Savvy: From what I can see there are alot of really good-looking guys in the group.
Godly: Yes, and alot of actors.
Savvy: Oh, yes, that's true of LA. What do you think it is?
Godly: If we went anywhere else in the country we would all be married. Texas, Utah. But not here.
Elektra: It just seems that the guys aren't really interested in relationships from about 19-32. It seems like they are more interested in bonding with other men.
Savvy: Are we not encouraging them enough?
Godly: I get flirted with, but it stops there.
Elektra: I just think of it as a great place to make friends.
Savvy: So, what about the whole series on dating?
Godly: It seems like it was just wishful thinking on their parts. I mean, it makes sense to find someone at church since we believe the same things. Unfortunately, it's just not happening.
Savvy: Well, I exchanged emails with one guy when he asked. But I had already put my foot in my mouth and actually told a guy that I like him.
Godly: I don't see the point in doing that in my situation. The guy I like is moving and we've known each other for years. He didn't pursue me in all of that time.
Savvy: I just wonder if it might make a difference. Maybe he just doesn't know. I wasn't dealing with the same situation, but I just had to say something to this guy. I mean, my heart skipped a beat every time I saw him. It's just something about him.
Godly: Wow, really? It's not quite like that for me with him, but it is a big deal. Does he go here?
Savvy: Umm, no. He goes somewhere else. He lives in another state. In any case, it's complicated.

I try my best to throw her off the trail since she was also friends with Seattle. I doubt she would even notice Seattle the way I have because he might be too average-looking for her, too geeky. I fear being laughed at for my preference, so I say nothing. I've pulled this on other occaisions. As soon as I say I like the nerdy ones, a list of names pops up. Elektra knows, she just doesn't know how bad I have it for him. As long as Elektra doesn't slip the info to her later.


I was sitting with another girl who is really cute and about 22. She is fit and has freckles. She is totally wholesome--the kind of "good woman" that so many are seeking. We started talking about relationships.

Cutesy: I haven't been on a date since I was 16.
Savvy: Wow, 16? that's a long time.
Cutesy: Well, I'm sorta used to it. Whenever I really like a guy, I get too nervous to talk to him.
Savvy: Oh, no.

Somehow we were in a place that everyone walked by and were joined by a guy who talked to us about places to go hiking. Suddenly the group was Hiker, Cutesy and Intern.

Savvy: So we were talking about relationships. I was just wondering what your take is.
Hiker: Well, I was engaged for a few years, and it didn't work out.
Savvy: really?
Hiker: Yes, she wasn't very stable. I hoped it would get better but it never did.
Savvy: So, are you seeing anyone now?
Hiker: I basically don't want to. I need some time to myself before I try again.

It makes sense. I needed time after I broke off my engagement. Sometimes people come to church for healing from brokenness. Then we talked about hiking. When Hiker left, I decided to try a little magic.

Savvy: He's really cute, what about him?
Cutesy: Oh, I don't know.
Savvy: I can talk to him...
Cutesy: No!
Intern: What about you? Aren't you single? Why don't you go out with him?
Savvy: I was just thinking for her. They had really nice energy talking to each other.
Intern: Yes, but he's a good guy.
Savvy: Oh, I don't think he would be interested in me. Also there is someone I have feelings for.
Together: Who?
Savvy: Ummm. I don't want to say. It's complicated. He doesn't go here.
Cutesy: Is he Christian?
Savvy: Yes.
Intern: Good, then we'll let it slide.

Enough people already know (about 4) and when more find out, let's just say it will be interesting. Crying at church the week after he left and saying he wasn't there didn't seem to tip anyone off. Good. But going up to Seattle will.

I'll let you all know how my further investigations go...

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Friday, August 7, 2009

Prayer and Facebook about Seattle

Yes, it still happens. I uploaded a CD into my computer and as I put it away, it said Seattle. What? I went to do a mystery shop at a car dealership and got to know my "randomly selected" saleslady.

Dealer: I just moved, I've only been selling cars for three weeks.
Savvy: Where did you move from?
Dealer: Seattle. I really hated the weather.
Savvy: Umm, Seattle, huh? What brought you down here?
Dealer: Oh, you don't want to hear about me.
Savvy: Um, actually I do.
Dealer: I used to work in technology and then came down for a project I managed. I decided to stay and find something working with people.
Savvy: Big difference from tech.
Dealer: I was working for Boeing for a long time.
Savvy: Boeing? Um, wow. It's just that there's this guy up in Seattle. He just moved there and works for Boeing and it's just bizarre...

That's one word for it. Strange. Crazy. Unnatural. Far-fetched...

I decided to go up for prayer after the young adult group service. I told her about my "out-of-state" guy that I have feelings for and for not getting any of my classes for fall semester.

Sunny: So, what's his name?
Savvy: Oh, I'd rather not say.

She prayed a beautiful, uplifting and comforting prayer and we continued talking after about more frivolous pursuits.
Sunny: So what color is your nail polish?
Savvy: Just clear this time.
Sunny: Mine's candy apple red, only I'm wearing tenis, so you can't see my toesies.
Savvy: How cute! I should have used a color.

We were approached by a guy I met a few weeks ago...
Sparky: So, it seems we have a friend in common...
Savvy: It's quite possible.
Sparky: Remember Seattle's going away party?

A jolt of panic swept through me.
Savvy: Um, yeah.
Sparky: I was there...
Savvy: You were? I don't remember that. Did you shave your head after?
Sparky: Just kidding. I wasn't there. It's just that you're all over his Facebook page.
Savvy: Yeah, um, well, he was my first friend on Facebook. I mean Crackbook. Oh my God, I'm so addicted.
Sparky: And there's that picture of you guys at his party.
Savvy: Yep.

I had just learned how to tag photos and remove tags from pictures I didn't like.
Brilliant. I didn't realize it would end up on his page but I did hope that people would let it slide. No such luck. I deleted it when it posted on my wall hoping to keep this under the radar.
Sparky: And now he's moved out of state.
Sunny: He's gone and left us. We miss him.

I looked intently at her and she didn't remotely catch on. Phew. It's not every day you dodge a bullet by keeping a man's name secret. If I had said his name, the sense of panic would have overwhelmed me.
Savvy: So then, if you've seen me all over, why haven't you friended me? What's up with that? I'm going to feel so hurt.

Deflector shield on full!! Deploy mock tears!!
Sparky: You can friend me, too.
Savvy: Except, I don't know where to find you!
Sparky: I'm on his friend list.

He friended me the next morning. Posted on his wall:
Savvy: You beat me!

And then he sent me an email.
Sparky: what's the address of this uberpopular secret blog of yours?
Savvy: Sorry, Charlie. You won't be reading that anytime soon!

I didn't get away with it so easily on Sunday.

All these reminders make me wonder if he thinks about me.

(If you got the semi-pun with prayer and Facebook, you are brilliant.)

I love comments!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Seattle Sunday

I ended up talking to a friend I met through Seattle

Shaft: So, wow, Jerry's really going crazy running around.
Savvy: Yeah, he's all over the place. It's like he's missing Seattle.
Shaft: Yes, he did have quite a presence. He would just stand there in his friendly way and everyone would come up to him.
Savvy: Hard to miss a guy who's that tall.
Shaft: Really...
Savvy: It's like he had this gravity.
Shaft: Did you have a secret crush on him?

Savvy: Um, hey so what did you think of the service?
Shaft: You did! If you had just said no, but you tried to change the subject.
Savvy: OK. It's not exactly a secret.
Shaft: Does he know?
Savvy: Yes, he knows. Did you ever wonder about how I just arrived on the scene and there I was at his party? It's because I said something.
Shaft: Ah ha!
Savvy: I'm supposed to go up and visit, but I don't know.
Shaft: Wait, he invited you to the party and then you have an invitation to go up there?
Savvy: Um, yes. But his sister was involved in that too. He wrote to me, but I wrote to him first.
Shaft: All you have to do is show up. If he weren't interested at all, you wouldn't have an invitation.
Savvy: I've had other offers, but I really liked him. I'm so tired of men treating me badly I mean, I understand where he's coming from. My dad worked in aerospace.
Shaft: I see the connection.
Savvy: I don't know, the whole thing is really weird with him so far away and it just seems like he would take it very seriously.
Shaft: That's how guys are when they aren't really experienced. He'll definitely treat you right.
Savvy: Maybe you can put in a good word for me.
Shaft: You don't need it. Show up. He'll look around and then look right at you.

What he said gave me hope but it is balanced by panic. Another person knows. Sometimes it seems the walls are closing in.

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Email from Seattle

Hi Savvy!

Things have been going well so far and I'm slowly getting things put together. Move-in day is this Friday into my new apartment.

Job's started a bit slow but it's always that way going into a new position. I'll be busy yet.

I'm very glad to hear the church is working out for you and that you're finding a faith community you feel comfortable with. I'm sure your musical talents and career experience will be a real blessing to the music ministry there and it's great you've found a way to serve. Keep at it

You might have heard but we've been getting scorching hot temperatures up here, well over 100 deg. And nobody has air conditioning in their homes. It's the news du jour up here.

Take Care,

Dear Seattle,

Slow is good... In a few months they won't even notice at what point they started referring to you as Super Genius and that the company's name has changed to yours. ;)

All this moving is an inspiration to get my stuff organized, things sorta slipped after the shoulder surgery. (Oh, ok, even before that.) Hey, now you can find those CDs you wanted for the trip. ;) Out here, it's the same old, same old. I was awakened by an earthquake---whee! Just a 3.7 in El Cajon--I always check the USGS website. Ironically, just last night I picked something up off the floor and hung it back up thinking it must have been an earthquake. Does that mean I made it happen? I feel so powerful. ;) I start paralegal classes at the end of the month. Might join up with one of the colleges jazz choirs for kicks.

Seattle has been in the news a little bit with that weather. No air conditioning! That really got me! I also heard about the "unStarbucks"--15th Ave. Coffee and Tea--that will be trying to have an actual coffee house with poetry readings and everything to compete with all those hip local joints.

Thanks so much for the sweet words of encouragement--it made me feel happy. I'll let you know how it goes. Have to figure out what I'm taking to a potluck thingie--too hot to cook-- unless I cook on the sidewalk...

Take care,

Proverbs 16:24
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.


I know those words of encouragement may seem like nothing in many ways, they seem like everything in other ways. Most guys don't talk this way. This really made me feel like he cares about me. I wish he were here just as a friend. Do girls really overlook awesome, gentlemanly guys like this?

I have some things I will be working on before I see him next, so I guess that's good. Those 30 lbs are haunting me about now. But there is still no promise of any kind. I am hoping and praying for a miracle and a bit nervous about how it will all play out in the end.

Stay tuned...I'm posting a bunch in the next few days to update you.

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Monday, August 3, 2009

Emails That Go Nowhere from the Men At Church

I sent Red a quick email. I was thinking I might lose the paper he used to write his name. A wise choice because I think I did lose it.


Hi Red,

I hope work is treating you well. I still have a little while longer before I can call myself a paralegal, so your boss wouldn't be able to hire me for another few months for that.

Of course, you are still welcome to drop me a line. ;)

Talk to you soon,


Hey, Savvy –

Thank you, work is all right – at least for me.

Do you go to the young adult group?
They meet Tuesday nights at Church. I’m checking them out.

If you liked West Side Story, you may want to see this…


Oh, and my personal email is --------@yahoo.com – but until I get a computer working and connected at home, I’m not checking email there daily.


Hi Red,

That's got to be one of the funniest videos on WSS I have ever seen. When I lived in New York , the Puerto Rican and Dominican girls I worked with would make me sing the whole soundtrack to them. If you hadn't emailed me to let me know you would be there, I never would have seen you. The group is just big enough to get lost.



Oh, really? Did they ever sing along?

I liked the speaker, he seemed pretty interesting…and it never hurts for a guy to start with a theme song.



Hi Red,

Sometimes they sang backup for I Feel Pretty.

I had never seen the speaker before, but that was funny. I don't know where the time goes so fast, but I guess there was alot to do hanging out and stuff. I am waitlisted for the hiking trip. I guess I thought about it too long since I can't go on any of those superintensive hikes. I sprained my ankle about 5 times last year. OOOPSY! It takes time to recover.

You should come hang out with us at xxxxx after church Tuesday.


Would a guy lose interest because I looked for him and went up to greet him with a hug during the meet and greet time? Or because I said he should hang out with us after when basically it's an open invitation to everyone in the group to go? There's certainly nothing in here scary, obsessive or indicating that I want to marry him tomorrow. In fact, I basically have a nothing special sort of feeling toward this man. I hoped I would feel something--

Oh wait, I do!! Bored already.

I don't need a degree in theology or psychology to see this isn't going to go anywhere. So, why ask for my email?

I love comments!

So There Are Men at Church

Lots of them. And sometimes they seem to show an interest in me. I was definitely looking at this guy when I thought he wasn't looking. I picked my seat near this guy on purpose. I've always had a thing for red hair. Listening to a speaker at a back table my temptation is always the same: Make snide comments to make people laugh--including about Red's name..

Speaker: Fame changes people. I mean we can blame the paparazzi in part, but Tom Cruise lives and isolated and disturbing life.
Savvy: He's a disturbing man.

The people at my table snickered their approval.
Savvy: I'm sorry.

The speaker told us he was from Staten Island.
Savvy: Wait. They let people off that island? I lived in New York for two years and never even made it there.
More snickering.

After the talk, I looked at the man I had met and asked him:
Savvy: So what is it you do in this whole mess.
Red: I am an administrative assistant at a pool construction company.
Sav: I get the feeling that you do far more.
Red: You're right, I do.
Sav: Sounds like time for a new title and a raise--something like Right Hand Man.
Red: Yeah, well they haven't changed it yet. And you?
Sav: Oh, me. Well, I used to teach music, but I don't want to go back to teaching. So I'm going to go back to school and take paralegal classes.
Red: Why law? To make money?
Sav: Well, the thought crossed my mind. Most people exist in a state of ignorant bliss and I realized a need to educate myself.
Red: My boss has been asking me to do paralegal stuff. Sometimes he's been called in to answer to whether or not the pool construction or design was a factor in the accident. I already have enough at work.
Sav: So like an expert witness. Hmm.
Red: Can I get your email address and if my boss is looking for someone I'll let you know. Plus, I've really enjoyed connecting with you and I'd like to connect with you again sometime.
Sav: Sounds good to me.

Is that what they call it now? I gave him my email address and my phone number. After all, it was business, right? A nice red-haired guy from church? Who could resist? Everybody loves a red-haired boy.

He's not Seattle, but Seattle isn't here. And yes, it crossed my mind, if he could be interested, why not Seattle?

I love comments!