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Friday, July 10, 2009

Find a Hobby

Why is it that when you really want a relationship, "they" tell you to take a class or find a hobby? I have had lots of hobbies...

1. The following hobbies are mostly women: ballet, tap, jazz, Mexican Folkloric dancing, horseback riding...
2. Community Theater/Choirs--mostly women and men who are neurotic or gay.
3. Country Line Dancing--takes place in bars and though I go with friends, I have met jerks.
4. Church--More than a hobby, but generally not a good place to meet men.
5. Hiking--mostly men, but I can't keep up with all of my ankle sprains.
6. Playing a musical instrument--I've learned guitar and piano. Still single.
7. Meetup.com--have met a variety of people, made some friends and been hit on.
8. The following hobbies are out because of my head injury/shoulder surgery: martial arts, going to a shooting range, swing dancing, golf, surfing, etc. though I hear those are mostly men.
9. Going to the gym--not really a way to meet anyone.
10. Shopping--a great way to ruin your credit & not really a hobby.
11. Sewing/crafts/scrapbooking or art of any kind are just not my thing and not a way to meet men. Plus I don't like doing them--or did I say that already?
12. Keeping a blog/writing--Generally a solitary activity. One time I was at a cafe and met a jerk. Writing is really a lovely thing to do, though. ;)
13. Beachcombing--Did that yesterday. Made off with lots of stuff. Got hit on earlier in the day.
14. Ballroom dancing--still a bit tough to have equal numbers of men and women. Some men will be there with wives and some are so strange you'll get hives!

Having a full life is a good thing, but a hobby is supposed to be a temporary distraction. It isn't enough to replace loving and being loved. Nor will it ever be.

7 comments:

LadyElaine said...

I completely understand what you mean. People assume that because you want a relationship and you struggle with loneliness sometimess that the root cause is boredom. That is malarkey. There are lots of people who have lots of hobbies, but want to be married. I think sometimes because people don't know what to say, then they say anything---regardless of whether or not it's actually helpful or needed.

What I would REALLY LIKE for people who hear about those who want a relationship, here's some novel ideas:
Offer to pray with them and for them(really, and not out of pity but encouragement)

Support them in the hobby they're interested in---and if you happen to know other friends who share your interests, then make it a group event. Maybe they're a possibly that you could meet a great guy in the process.

SavvyD said...

Married people have hobbies too. Married people have children who have hobbies. Single parents have children with hobbies. Single parents have their own hobbies. Single people have hobbies.

Telling someone to get a new one is really kind of lame. I had a guy who said he wanted to take me hiking (a return to an old hobby), but what he really wanted was to try to seduce me.

Fran said...

I personally think some people are meant to be alone and not to end up in a relationship or marriage, and I am one of them.

Good luck!
Fran

SavvyD said...

Hey Fran, that's what you have chosen, not everyone likes it.

larepublicadeblackbottom said...

You are hilarious. Love your blog

SavvyD said...

Thanks, you have great taste! ;)

Sarah Lynn said...

Lol, that's so true.