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Friday, July 31, 2009

Unscrupulous Credit Practices

How does 2.99% APR turn into 27.24% APR?
Unscrupulous credit practices, that's how.

The current credit system is going to drive us all into the ground. No wonder Suze Ormon recanted her advice about paying off the cards. She now recommends paying the minimum and saving CASH in the event that you lose your credit limit. If you miss ONE payment, they send your rate soaring. I had a LIFE OF BALANCE promotion for 2.99% APR--I thought that meant my credit line was guaranteed. Things do happen in life that cause people to be late. Personally, I had shoulder surgery.

I called the bank and politely had it out with the supervisor. I made sure to tell her I was purposely saying "the bank" instead of "you." These unfortunate souls have to work to support themselves and their families. I'm sure the person I spoke to is a perfectly nice person. I told her that I would no longer use the card if things didn't change. She said she was a consumer, too and she was motivated to help me. I'm passing on her advice: set your account on automatic payments so that the minimum is paid automatically. It will bode well for you when the work order is reviewed by higher-ups.

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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Sex--Bachelorette Puts Too Much Pressure on the First Time

Watching the Bachelorette the other night bothered me. Actually it bothered me before. It used to be the way of things to get to know someone sexually AFTER marriage. It was a seal and sign to the verbal oaths of marriage. No one expected it to be perfect from the first time. Fast forward to 2009 and if it's not perfect the first time, you are out on your ear. I couldn't believe that the Bachelorette was talking about her beaus down to what happened in the bedroom. One was great and the other left her wondering if it shouldn't have been better--on national television. What?

The funny thing about women is that they need recovery time in between sexual events (even with the same partner). How they respond is also dependent on the timing of where they are in their cycle. I've always believed that sex, like any other physical activity, can be learned over time. Being a natural at it is a bonus, but it shouldn't be a primary requirement--and certainly not on the first time. Maybe I'm naive about it because I don't do it with every guy I go out with. OK, none of them.

I know of a woman who turned her back on her marriage to her high school sweetheart because it was always the same in the bedroom--other than that, things were great. I try not to talk about this with her because it seems like a complete waste. The only real requirements should be attraction to your partner, good grooming, fresh breath, and a willingness to please your partner within reason. And no, having sex early in the relationship does not guarantee real attraction or great sex later in the relationship. But good communication skills and a marriage in which both partners are honored will definitely help with that.

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Monday, July 27, 2009

Seattle Haunts Me

I was supposed to go the the University of Washington (in Seattle) to study with a real talent in my field. I had a scholarship and would have added a graduate assistantship to that at some point. The catch was, getting a second master's degree because I hadn't gotten enough of the background I needed. I wanted to give New York and singing opera a try. I didn't know anyone in Seattle and I didn't want to be so far from home and single. I chickened out. Let's just say if I had seen all the signs pointing to Seattle the way I do now, I might have gone for it...

I picked up a Smithsonian magazine that was buried under other magazines. I started paging through it and saw pictures of Narwhals--those whales that have a unicorn horn. As I turned a page and looked:
Savvy: Oh my Gosh, my finger just ended up on Seattle in this article.
Kristi: It's a sign.
Savvy: I just put my hand down and my finger was there.
Kristi: I'm telling you its a sign that you should go up there.
Savvy: Um, well, we'll see. It's kind of strange.

I was at church thing looking around at everyone there and then wondered if there would be anyone that would make me feel anything he did--half as much even. If there would be anyone that I shared some odd things in common...I looked up at the TV and there was a commercial for Mike's Hard Lemonade set in Seattle, WA. Huh? At the exact moment?

I've watched TV a couple of times and seen references to Seattle. New York can be hard to escape mention of. But Seattle? I sat down at the gym to work out--usually I use the bike that is in front of a TV set to CNN. I used a different kind of bike this time and watched Grey's Anatomy which is set in, yep, Seattle. Some guy was interviewed about mortgage scams, where does he live? Yep, suburban Seattle. And (on the same show) now there is a big hoo-ha about Starbucks launching a new unStarbucks branding (15th Ave Coffee and Tea) for their new stores in...Seattle. I paged through a book for additional information about the author and landed on a page that mentioned...Seattle. Having had enough, I about dropped it.

A husband and wife were talking behind me at the mall:
She: Just don't really want to go to those places.
He: I want to go to Montreal and you don't want to go. Same thing with Seattle.
Sav: I'll go to Seattle. There's a guy up there I like.
She: I want to go to San Francisco. It's closer.
Sav: So you can take me to Seattle.

And then I tried to push it out of my mind. Again.

Seattle is making a home for himself and has found a lovely apartment with a great view of a lake and the Cascades. He started his new job.

Why did I say anything to him?

Because I hoped. Because I am still a hopeless romantic. Because if he felt half of what I did, it would be a great relationship. Because I made the insane leap of thinking if other guys want me that this guy might too. But I think I am dealing with the rare species of man who is the exact opposite of the player. There is no room in his life for a casual relationship and he hasn't made the room to get to know women on a more personal level because his career is first. This is the way of a man with class. (Plus with all of that feminist crap, a nice guy thinks women have their own things going on and wouldn't move with a guy--not even an awesome Christian, slightly Star Trek geek, outdoorsy, jazz-loving, supersmart one like him. I would. Pick me! Pick me!)

A new reality show called Holidate asks the question:

What if the perfect guy for you is in Seattle?

What if? The commercial aired 5 minutes before this published. Maybe it's time for my own Holidate.

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Sister Savvy of the Hell No!

Can you imagine me as a nun? Apparently after I sang an amazingly anointed Ave Maria, one of the the Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus can! When the subject of my advanced state of singleness came up, Sweet Sister Mary Margaret was happy to help...

Sister: We have many young adults who help lead the teen group. Perhaps you'd meet someone if you got involved.
Savvy: Umm, well, I've tried pretty much everything to meet someone.
Sister: And you have such a pretty face...
MyMom: That's what we've been trying to tell her.

Yah, and my friends, too. Still no boyfriend, husband, etc.

Savvy: Thank you Sister.
Sister: Perhaps it's a sign from God.
Savvy: I hope not!
Sister: We have a special class called Handmaidens for spiritual direction.
Savvy: That sounds lovely.
(for them)
Sister: We'd love for you to come.
Savvy: I'm not completely Catholic...
Sister: Weren't you Baptised?
Savvy: Umm, yes. By Baptists. And then I went to RCIA.
Sister: So, you aren't practicing.
Savvy: Ummm, I am, now. It's just that I'm more comfortable with the protestant faith.
Sister: It's not what you're more comfortable with, it's what will get you into heaven.
Savvy: Umm...
Sister: Protestants only have bread, but we have the whole pizza pie with anchovies, mushrooms, cheese and pepperoni.

(For those who don't know, Catholics believe that the Eucharist IS transformed into the ACTUAL body and blood of Christ.)

Savvy: I don't like anchovies or mushrooms.
Sister: Spiritually speaking...
Savvy: Umm, well, make it BBQ chicken like CPK and we might have a deal.
Sister: I hope you will come to the class. There's no obligation to become a sister.
Savvy: It's on the website, right?
Sister: I'm not sure what the address is, let me find out.
Savvy: I know I don't want to be a sister.
Sister: Come anyway.
Savvy: I want to get married and have children.
Sister: If you are to be a wife and mother, you also must be spiritual. The right kind of men are looking for that.
Savvy: True. That's what they tell me.
Sister: You have until you are 50 to have children and there are many children who need homes. Don't be impatient, it causes physical illness.
Savvy: Yes, Sister.
Sister: And don't wear too much makeup. Men don't like it.

She touched my face. I wasn't wearing much makeup--sheer foundation, eyeliner, mascara and a bit of subtle eyeshadow.

Savvy: Yes, Sister.
Sister: In the meantime, make sure you say the rosary for your future husband. Oh, and do a novena.

She handed me a piece of paper with the information written on it.
Savvy: Thank you, Sister.

I wish I had distracted her by saying I saw an image of Mary in the leftover cake pieces. Nuns aren't known for being subtle or having great social skills. After all, they spend most of the day in silent contemplation because talking is considered frivolous. I wanted to tell her that an inspired Ave Maria and advanced stage of singleness are not signs of a calling. They are just indicators of a great talent and an even greater social ill.

This is what I get for having joked about becoming a nun at the age of 14 when I first became aware of boys and realized that I didn't have a boyfriend.

Can you even imagine me in that Handmaidens class? They'd have to call me Sister Mary of the Constant Cutup -- or Sister Martha of the Perpetually Moving Mouth. I'd be talking at the back of the class, looking around the room during prayer and handing out cards saying, Here, read my blog. It will scare you into being a nun if you have the least inclination or calling.

As for me, I have NONE. Get it? It's a play on words. NONE/NUN. hahahahaha!

My prayer request at the class:
Dear Sweet Jesus, Mary Joseph and ALL the saints please send me a husband fricken soon!

Then again, what if I did the "Yes Man" thing and went...
(PS The sister depicted is from another order, but it's a great picture.)

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

sex is part of living a full life

Or so Oprah sez. I'm annoyed. Here are her stats: 50% of people are unhappy with their sex lives and 40 million people are in sexless marriages. I don't appreciate men trying to have sex on the first date or even the third because it takes time to build trust. At that point it's not really possible to be trapped into a sexless relationship, so really, lighten up boys! We would never go into business with someone we don't know. Why are we expected to share our beds? Am I not more than my genitalia? Some guys don't seem to think so. I wish Oprah would talk about that.(This is a video by one of my bad dates, Jon Lajoie.)
That was a joke, people. I never went out with Jon Lajoie. Swing took me to see his comedy act. I turned bright red through most of it. In the time is spent psychoanalyzing his videos, (rotfl) I realized that he is making fun of this kind of person.

Sometimes he does clean comedy, but not often:

WATCH AT YOUR OWN RISK something about him is disturbingly charming despite the vile things he says about 50% of the time. There are things that just remind me of my bad dates. I am not sure if the videos will turn out if you subscribe to the feed, so please stop by.

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Saturday, July 18, 2009

Sweet Dreams, Seattle

I haven't heard anything personal from Seattle. I am putting my hopes of a relationship to rest. I thought I had nothing to lose, but I did lose something. I lost hope. I thought that if other guys have been attracted to me, and if I felt so much, that Seattle could too. I thought God was showing me that there is someone for me and there were people who seemed to want it to happen, too. It was so romantic in Sleepless in Seattle with the son being totally convinced that they should be together. The difference was that they were looking for each other. Seattle was looking to leave.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I See Tall People like Seattle (with Short People)

Just last night I was thinking it was ridiculous that Seattle would like me "like that" since we might look ridiculous together. In the Sixth Sense, the kid looks very serious when he says, "I see dead people." Today, "I see tall people."

I saw a really tall man with a wife who is shorter even than I am. They had 3 children (The daughter is wearing the blue tank, then you see the tall man and in front of him is the wife, wearing a hat. I was wearing 2 inch wedges, so maybe I'm not really taller at 5'2" on a good day. But it gave me a little hope. A few days ago, I talked to a curmudgeony lady while I was doing a price audit. I was trying to find a way to connect with her so the work went faster. When we were looking at children's booster seats...

Savvy: I need a booster seat.
Lady: Do you have kids?
Savvy: No, I was thinking for me since I'm interested in a guy who is 6'7" or something.
Lady: Wow, that's a big difference.
Savvy: I know; and the cards are stacked against us because he's just moved up to Seattle.
Lday: Is he up there to work for Boeing?
Savvy: Yes, but he's from there. How did you guess that?
Lady: I met my husband there and he used to work for Boeing.
Savvy: Really?
Lady: We moved down here so he could work for Lockheed-Martin.
Savvy: Really? He was just working for them at Skunkworks, but he really wanted to work with Boeing because he wants to work on airplanes.
Lady: What a coincidence. Where did you meet?
Savvy: At church. He had been going there for 4 years, I wish I had met him 4 years ago.
Lady: It must be a really big church.
Savvy: It is, but I wasn't actually attending. I just wish I had been because maybe then we could have gotten to know each other rather than meeting just two weeks before he left.
Lady: Well, I will definitely pray for you guys.
Savvy: Really? That's awesome. It's just so complicated.
Lady: It sounds to me like you've already made up your mind. Follow your heart. Go up and see him.
Savvy: I will. I want to. I just want to give him time to settle in and to think about it. A good man is definitely worth moving for. And even though I only spent a very short amount of time with him, he treated me well and with respect. He's got a big heart and does his best to be a good Christian. I liked him right away and that's not really typical for me at all.
Lady: And I'll be praying.

For us? It was so sweet. I hope there is an us someday. I already feel completely anxious because I haven't heard anything but that he is there from his Facebook update. Not only do I see tall people, but I see Seattle every where. Seattle's Best, Pete's Coffee, Starbucks, America's got Talent in Seattle, Sleepless in Seattle...

I have yet to completely give up.

There they go...

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The Last Minute Man's Failed Attempt

I was waiting to go out with a guy (Beemer) when I got a call from another guy (Trainer) who is a personal trainer and was supposed to take me on a short hike after giving me a card and saying we should "hang out" sometime. I imagined I would be his weight loss project.
Trainer: I went hiking on Wednesday I should have called you. I can't believe I didn't.
Savvy: Stuff happens. (I had other plans anyway.)
Trainer: I know that this is an outside chance, but are you available tonight? The moon should be perfect for a late hike.
Savvy: I have plans--I'm a hot ticket.
Trainer: Oh well maybe another time, though it's going to have to wait until I get back from Mt. Whitney. I have to see all of my clients before I go.
Savvy: Take lots of pictures.

We said our goodbyes. I then got a text from Beemer.
Beemer: Let's reschedule. I'm wiped out.
Savvy: I drove all the way out here for you. Would coffee help?
Beemer: I'm taking a nap.

Riiight. A nap on a Friday night. I hate last minute cancellations...so I called Trainer back. He was still available.

I caught Trainer when he was coming home from REI. When I got to his place to go out he was standing outside, shirtless wearing tropical shorts. Nice view.

Train: I still haven't taken a shower.
Savvy: You smelled fine to me.
Train: It'll just take ten minutes. Why don't you come upstairs? You can meet my roommate, Bob.

Bob was a life-sized training dummy.
Train: Just make yourself at home and I'll be right out. TV doesn't work, but I have some movies.
Savvy: Wow, you have alot of books. I'll just read something. Oh, cool, coffee table books!

I picked up a book called 101 Scenic Drives hoping that one of them would be in Seattle. No such luck, though, there were some in Puget Sound and the Olympic Penninsula. He had a dart board so I decided to play darts. While I did that, I noticed some other books. A whole shelf was dedicated to titles like:
The Kama Sutra
The Joy of Sex
A Woman's Pleasure
The Art of Seduction

Oh my! Am I being seduced? I picked up The Art of Seduction and began to read. It was like a seduction cookbook. So that's what they do...

Over dinner, I asked
Savvy: Do you have kids?
Train: No, no kids.
Savvy: Me either. Have you ever been married?
Train: No, it's just that no one really impresses me.

Then how could I?

Train: I was dating a woman who was still doing whatever kinds of jobs, things that weren't really anything. I just can't see someone like that by my side.

And I just couldn't see someone by my side who swore as much as he did and seemed to have such a negative view of women. I would be next to be judged.

He told me what he was looking for in a woman:
1. Attraction--Someone who's attractive or at least someone I'm attracted to.
2. Sex--You have to have good sex. (Oh crap.)
3. Things in common--Someone who you like to do the same things and spend time together.

Savvy: I think that last one is the hardest to find.
Train: I think you're right, though I've had relationships where you have that but the sex is not that great. But then relationships where the sex was great but we didn't have anything in common.
Savvy: See, I was right.
Train: You are right. Wow, you're really cute.

There was something very boyish about the way he said it. He was being truthful there. It was also one of the only times during dinner that he made eye contact. Given the circumstances I did the only reasonable thing a girl could do...I ate the onions he left. After dinner, we took a ride on Mulholland Drive and stopped at a lookout point with a fabulous view of the city. He stood next to me at the fence.
Train: You're kind of aggressive.
Savvy: Me? How so?
Train: You called me.
Savvy: You gave me your card.
Train: I get the impression that you don't care about society's rules.
Savvy: What are society's rules?
Train: You're getting philosophical.
Savvy: Society has changed. All the rules have changed.
Train: There are still standard expectations.
Savvy: Are there?
Train: I guess you're right. Things are very different than say when we were kids.
Savvy: When I was a kid there were a few kids whose parents were getting divorced. Nowadays kids are in single parent and remarried even twice divorced homes. They're trying make sense of relationships that adults don't even understand. Sometimes I want to reach out to the city and hug all the hurting people.

I could see the city through my outstretched arms. Only Jesus can give a hug that big. I don't care about society's rules, but not the ones he thinks. He ran his fingers through my hair.

Train: Wow, you're really cute. Is it OK that I'm doing this?
Savvy: Yes.

He then kissed the crook of my elbow before moving up to my neck asking me if I liked what he was doing. I was starting not to.

Savvy: Let's go.
Train: OK. Where do you want to go?
Savvy: Keep going on Mulholland.
Train: We can stop at all of the lookouts.

So we did. Meanwhile I got a text from Beemer saying he was available as if I would wait around. Hah! Riiight. One of the lookouts was at a house where we wondered whose it was since it was so brightly lit. At the last one, there were some drunk people who weren't sure where they were going on what they were doing. We stayed in the car even after they left. He kissed me starting with my wrists.

Train: We're going to have to do body mapping on you.
Savvy: What's that?
Train: Everyone has a side that they like better, you tell me which way or which side you like it best.

So he did; touching me with the front and the back of his hand on my cheek, then my neck. As his hands crept slowly over time to delicately touching top edge of my dress, he asked:

Train: Where is your favorite place to be touched?
Savvy: Uh...
Train: Everyone has a favorite place.
Savvy: I don't know. We should go. It's getting late.

On the way back we talked about LA traffic and other things. I nervously played with his spare change during this turn of the conversation.
Train: You're really shy.
Savvy: Oh, you noticed.
Train: It's like you want to touch me, but you're holding back.
Savvy: I'm not shy socially, but I am with guys.
Train: Why is that?
Savvy: I...well, my friends say I should lie, but it comes across anyway. I've only ever been with one guy. I've had boyfriends and stuff, but...

I was supposed to wait until I got married.

Train: You can't go wrong if you follow your heart.

We parked back at his place.
Savvy: I need to use the bathroom before I go home.
Train: So, you need to use the bathroom, huh?
Savvy: Yes...

I really did. There was nowhere else to go at 1 am. While in the bathroom, I noticed a book called, "The Big O". I began to think, "The Big Oh No!" When I came out he was shirtless and had kicked his shoes off. He hugged and kissed me.

Train: Why don't you stay 10 more minutes?
Savvy: 10 more minutes?
Train: Only it's too bright in here. Let's sit on the couch.
Savvy: By computer light?
Train: I want to send you home with a massage since you are so nice.
Savvy: Um, OK.
Train: Sit on the floor.

He started massaging, then played with my hair and kissed the back of my neck; then went back to the massage. Then kissed the back of my neck again. His hands got a little more adventurous; running along the edge of my dress again.

Train: Is it OK that I'm touching you like this?
Savvy: (Giggling.) Actually it's not anymore. Maybe next time.
Train: Alright, then let's get you home. I'll walk you out.
Savvy: So are you going to take lots of pictures of your Mt. Whitney hike?
Train: You can find people's pictures on Facebook.

Seattle takes tons of pictures on his hikes and writes captions for them. I love his hiking pictures.

Train kissed me goodnight. I'm sure he was disappointed. I'm sure there won't really be a next time. Guys like him really don't have much use in their lives for girls like me. But there was on thing he said right...

You can't go wrong if you follow your heart.

My heart says Seattle. I cried most of the way home. Seattle and I have no promise, but I felt like I was cheating on him. Here's hoping that thee prayers of that lady I worked with have some effect, though I'm starting to run out of hope that I will have a future with anyone at all.

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Getting Hit On--One of the Joys of Being Single

Sometimes it takes me a second to figure it out. I think this is more common today, but even my mom has a few stories of when she was hit on. One time she and my dad were at a party together. She walked into the kitchen for something and a man said, "You're gorgeous. Do you swing?" She said no and then told my dad what just happened. My mom and other marrieds have the advantage here. They can go back to their significant others and have a laugh. It's not that funny when you wonder if there is anyone who cares about you beyond what they can get.

Here are some of my recent hits:

Scene: A reunion held at a bar & grill.
Time: 1:30 am

Savvy: Wow, so you just got back from China.
China: Yes, my company decided to send me, though it was kind of a vacation too.
Savvy: How cool is that?
China: You have beautiful eyes.
Savvy: Thanks.
China: So, is this some kind of a reunion or something? All I know is that you guys look really young.
Savvy: Well, it's a combination of several years from two high schools. So you aren't with our group at all?
China: No, I know the new owners.
Savvy: Oh, how cool.
China: Are you single?
Savvy: Yes.
China: What are you doing later?
Savvy: Later? It's pretty late.
China: I've had alot to drink and I'm planning on staying at a hotel next door. Would you like to stay with me?
Savvy: Um... (blink, blink, stare)
China: Did I say something wrong?
Savvy: Well, I'm really flattered, but I've never done that before and I'm not about to start. I'm looking for someone who cares about my heart and brain, not just a fling.
China: Wow, I like that. You're a great girl.

He even started talking about marriage. I went out with him another day, but we were clearly not a match. In the back of my mind I was thinking that I would have to tell friends that he asked me to go back to his hotel room when I barely knew him. I also had a little fun by talking about marriage and relationships just to make sure he didn't want to go out with me again. I wanted him to feel a bit like the jerk he was for talking to me that way. At least I got a nice dinner and some tasty beer out of it.

Getting hit on is not just a late night thing...

Scene: State beach with bonfires. Savvy arrives after a long search for parking and her group. There are hugs and kisses all around as this is a European group. Savvy and Dutch walk back to her car.
Time: 5:36 pm

Dutch: Do you need help getting anything from your car?
Savvy: Well, I don't have very much, but I would like company to go back to the car.
Dutch: I'll keep you company then.
Savvy: Awesome. How nice of you. I knew there was something I liked about you.
Dutch: You mean beyond being a Dutch guy who works for ING Direct?
Savvy: Yes, and how unexpected. Maybe I like you because you are tall.
Dutch: And I like forward women. (He took my hand.)
Savvy: Umm, wait. I don't think this is going where you think it's going. I'm actually very innocent. I'm looking for a relationship with someone who cares about me. Not just a hookup.
Dutch: I'm just looking for hookups right now. You do right by being honest about what you are looking for. (I dropped his hand.)
Savvy: I would rather be like everyone's little sister... Why do you think that guys are like that?
Dutch: Someone else asked me the same thing. Maybe it's because a man is supposed to sew his wild oats with many women to spread the species.
Savvy: Makes sense if he's the alpha for a herd. But in general, that's a terrible example. Humans are not animals. We are supposed to have morals and a conscience--something which animals do not need. It doesn't make sense for women at all because women will sleep with alot of men rather than just the best ones.
Dutch: Maybe you're right. I just didn't really think about it. Maybe it's just ego, then.
Savvy: I think it's partly because men used to know who the good girls were and who the bad ones were and they treated them accordingly. Now we are all expected to be whores. Well, I'm not.
Dutch: You do things the way girls should. Hey, do you have an extra blanket or a towel or something? I don't have enough clothes.

Winner. He hit on me and then wanted to get at my stuff. What really kills? He is not nearly as good looking as his ego tells him.

I'm not the only one who gets hit on. Here's a fun website where ladies and gentlemen swap stories about getting hit on.

I Hit On You

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Seattle's Last, Last, Last, Last Hurrah. For real.

No really, this is it. I was able to spend some last few moments with Seattle. It's always been with a group around, though I would have liked to have had lunch or coffee just us. I was distressed because I was afraid I had missed part of the time with him. I arrived late to a beach bonfire. I talked to a few people and didn't see him anywhere. Then he arrived with his sister. My heart skipped a beat. We hugged.

Savvy: Hey Seattle. How are you? This must be your sister. It's nice to meet you.
Seattle: Yes, this is.
Savvy: Seattle was kind enough to introduce me around.
Seattle: Aww, thanks.
Sister: Nice to meet you.
Savvy: Umm, I got you a gift for your trip. Just a little something.

Later I had to go to the bathroom and when I returned I saw where Seattle and his Sister were seated. I decided to move. I placed a hand on his shoulder.
Savvy: I want to sit with you since you're leaving.
Unexpectedly, the pastor said that it was important to talk to people you don't know very well, to deepen relationships in the group. He told us to take a safety person and go talk. Nice. I'm so glad I moved.

Savvy: I think I qualify as someone you don't know very well. And Sister, you qualify as the safety.
Seattle: Sure that works.

We talked about the Forth of July and all things Seattle. They told me about their long trip up the coast and all the places they would stop.
Savvy: Since we're talking about little known facts about Seattle. I have something of a Seattle demon to conquer.
Seattle: Really?
Savvy: I was supposed to go the UW and even had a scholarship, but then I chickened out because I didn't know anyone up there.
Sister: Well, now you do. In fact you know two. You should come on up.
Savvy: Well, we'll see what happens. I haven't been up to travelling, but I think I might be soon. I have some people I need to visit once I'm done with physical therapy.

We talked about his work.
Seattle: My plan is to infiltrate, find a way to take credit for everything and then I'll be indispensable.
Savvy: Perfect.
And take lots of pictures of your trip--I'm so envious. I only every made it Crescent City. I really enjoyed your Mt. Baldy pictures. I totally understood them.
Seattle: You did?
Savvy: Yes, your comments were exactly what I would want to know.
Seattle: Really? That's so cool. I always want to know which way I'm looking.

And finally at the end of the bonfire, I did what I did at the last bonfire. Clean.

Sister: Wow, you're totally taking control of cleaning up.
Savvy: I can't just let it sit. I used to work for a beach cleanup group and it just bothers me when people don't respect our resources.
Sister: Good for you.
Savvy: Hey, I found some chocolate that wasn't opened, you think you can use that for the trip?
Sister: Oh yes, I can always use some chocolate.
Savvy: Oh, I don't want you guys to the think that the gift is a big deal or anything. It's a long trip, so I got some flares.
Sister: Nice.
Savvy: I can also see your brother wanting to help people, and they might come in handy at any time.

I liked her reaction, the only better one was Seattle's. He smiled.
Seattle: Flares. Nice. Thank you. Did you find them while cleaning the other day?
Savvy: No, I bought them. I had to mystery shop an auto supply place and we have to buy stuff.
Seattle: Do you get to keep what you buy?
Savvy: No, I can return them if I don't want them, but sometimes I need stuff. I have a ton of flares in my car.

Like he was actually interested in the flares. I was terrified he would ask me why I got them. He was about to hug me goodbye.
Savvy: So are you guys going to go for the Kogi tacos?
Seattle: I think we have the time, it's only 10. What do you think, Sis?
Sister: I think we should go. You can't have me come down here, tell me about it and not take me there.
Savvy: I will probably never go again unless I'm with friends, I'm in.

Yelling over a large crowd is not the best way to get to know people, but sometimes it can work out. Sister and I went to the bathroom, when I returned, everything had been ordered, and another friend showed up.

Seattle: I got us nine tacos.
Sister: I'm getting drinks, what will you have?

We told her our favorite brews.
Savvy: So, Sis, I don't understand how it is that Seattle is still single.
Sister: He takes relationships very seriously, I do too, and for the past year he knew he was leaving. It makes dating anyone a little bit difficult.

It wouldn't have bothered me. A good man is worth moving for.
Savvy: Makes sense, I guess. I take relationships very seriously. I mean, I'll go out with people, but actually having a relationship is something else.
Sister: I married a guy I knew way back in junior high and we had our pictures from way back then for the invitations.
Savvy: That's so cute! I'm actually having a pretty bad time. I mean, I get lots of dates, but sometimes I'm shocked at people. This one guy asked me to go back to his hotel room the night we met.
Sister: Did you slap him?
Savvy: No. I actually went out with him another night, but I thought I could never could answer right to the question of how we met, so I didn't really want to see him again.
Sister: I remember those days.

I genuinely liked his sister, even if I hadn't met her through Seattle. I really hope that offer to visit is sincere. We talked about how we had been fired from lots of jobs. We moved to sit outside and continued talking about the place, the food, and the trip.

Savvy: I can't believe how disciplined you are. When I left New York I kept going on last hurrahs and I left everything for the last minute because I had to go to a Yankee's game, or off to see Jose Limon dance company, or to see one final show or opera in the park. I wouldn't have said no to going out to lunch after church like you did.
Seattle: I've been doing that for the last month though, so I really had to get things together. This is the last hurrah for real.
Savvy: The last, last last, last to the 93rd power. So how come your car is still empty?
Sister: We have to go back to the apartment and pack up the car tomorrow.
Seattle: I had some really fun CDs!
Sister: Seattle, here, actually packed his CDs.
Savvy: Oh no! Well if you have a radio station you like, it should last until about Camarillo, but then you'll have to find something else. If you liked classic rock, you could listen to KTYD.
Seattle: Sounds like you've done that before.
Savvy: Well, I used to go to school at UC Santa Barbara. Do you like classic rock?
Seattle: No, I like jazz. I used to play the saxophone.
Savvy: Ah, the devil's instrument, it was known to make women swoon when it was first invented.

I saw stars. Jazz! I love jazz, but sometimes I hide my true tastes because people make assumptions about you. Men don't seem to have that concern. It bothered me that he didn't seem completely comfortable. He checked his watch and moved away from me a little. Already? He was about to leave for real and forever.
Savvy: Do you guys have to go?
Seattle: Yes, let's walk you back to your car. I called the hotel to let them know we would be late, but still.
Sister: You're the boss.

In the last few moments we talked about getting our advanced degrees and how he went to the beach to do nothing after turning in his thesis. And then there was lots of hugging.

Savvy: It was so good to meet you, Sister. Have a great trip.
Sister: You, too. Don't forget to come up and see us in Seattle.

Then it was Seattle's turn. I opened my car door and hopped onto the inside of the door. He's really tall and I'm just 5'2" on a good day.

Savvy: I want to give you a proper hug. Have safe trip.

There was so much I wanted to say, but I didn't want to cry. He turned back as he walked away.
Seattle: I'm so glad you came to church.
Savvy: Me too... Keep in touch.
Seattle: Will do.

And that was it. I hoped that when he was saying he was glad I came there that he was thinking of himself--his church, just in time to meet him. I waved to them as they continued north on the freeway and I turned east toward home. I just wanted to be happy that I knew him, even if only for a short time. On a friendship level alone, I feel a loss because he looked out for me. A man who genuinely respects women is wonderful to be around. But I felt so much more than that; safe, cared for and confused. He lived in So Cal for four years. We might have crossed paths sooner if I had tried to meet other people at the church instead of hanging out with the friend I came with. But even he said that back then people weren't as friendly. I wish I had met him sooner. It might have changed everything.

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Monday, July 13, 2009

Diarrhea of the Facebook

After over a year of getting Facebook invitations, I am finally on. I am "Friends" with my ex, Chris. He posts literally everything on it. Pictures of this, pictures of that, pictures with a belly dancer, in front of a Viagra sign, in an Elvis shirt, with a new girlfriend saying it was 5 days of heaven. Hey wait, some of those were the exact same things he did with me... Hello to the One Month Wonder. It's a short act filled with all of the same things--the same Elvis shirt, the same places and when he runs out, he has to find a new girl (or a Boo or a Juju). Maybe I shouldn't talk about him anymore either, even if it is relevant to another event...like 4th of July Envy...

Savvy: I have this friend who has an apartment with a great view of the city. They can kick it and watch all of the fireworks shows.
Seattle: Nice.
Savvy: I just can't seem to get an invitation.
Seattle: Why's that?
Savvy: Oh, maybe because he's my ex-boyfriend.
Seattle: Makes it tough.
Savvy: Well, we're friends, it's just that, well, you know how it is. When somethings end you are sad. When other things end you think it's totally OK. In this case, it was totally OK.

Dating TMI. Crap. Why did I tell him all of that? I guess to say I'm a cool girl and I try to be friends with my exes even though it's difficult.

Yes, I'm resisting the urge to post the following on his profile, How long will this one last?

I'm so glad we didn't last much longer, he's kind of, how you say in your language? Annoying? How you say...my family hated him?

I wonder if she knows he has herpes yet. Maybe she didn't care. Maybe I shouldn't care. Maybe I should just be happy that I didn't do much of anything with him and don't have it. Maybe I should be happy for him if he gets past being the One Month Wonder. Good luck. It's another long distance relationship.

But then, maybe when I go up there, I'll post pictures of me with Seattle all over the place in Seattle. Only that trip hasn't happened.

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No Man On This Earth Is Going To Wait

Seattle has gone on his way to Seattle. I've been tearing up partly because I'm sad over this, and partly because I went to court and was trampled by the cop who actually showed. Darn! I ended up at happy hour talking to some friends who are divorced with kids. We discussed 2 things we shouldn't--religion and sex. The only time I was ever with someone we waited 5 months.

Pops: No man on this earth is going to wait 5 months!He then got up and sat by himself rather than sit anywhere near me. Is what he said true?

As a few of you may recall, this is the same man who said dicey things to me when I was in tears over Bass.
Pops: I'll do things to you that'll make you forget him and put a smile on your face for the next two weeks.
Savvy: I want someone to love me for meeeeeee!

Joany & Glenn tried to figure this out with me.

Glenn: Savvy, we're really amused by you because you don't realize how funny you are when you tell us these things. But we know you are sincere. It's just that you're also so cute.
Savvy: I know people who think sex is for marriage and this guy really treated me with respect and cared about me as a person.
Joany: We're just in such different stages than you because we're divorced and have kids.
Glenn: I remember waiting for a girl but it's because I was in high school.
Savvy: Well I need someone who understands and can appreciate this about me.

I started to cry.

Glenn: we didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Savvy: I just don't think I will be happy having sex with guys after 3 dates--especially when the dates really aren't that great. I need someone to care about me first.
Glenn: Well, if a guy is calling you and wants to know what you think about things and you feel a connection most people won't wait that long.
Savvy: But most of the time it isn't like that at all. Some people will have sex without even feeling anything for a person. And it's not like a guy wouldn't lie to get his needs met.
Glenn: That's very true.
Savvy: I know Pops is critical of me, but I turned him down. From what I know, Becky Sue did too. In fact I met the woman he was dating a few months ago, and she said she doesn't give it up easily. If he's having sex with anyone, it's not anyone here. Maybe that's why he gets so angry with me.

Of course Glenn also wanted to argue with me about religion. I told him I was the wrong person to argue with since I just started going back.

Pops had heart surgery recently. Even though he has been consistently so disrespectful toward me, I still called him to see if he was alright. When asked if he got the message, he said his kids must have erased it. I wonder how he would like someone speaking to his daughter the way he has spoken to me. Probably not too much.

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Friday, July 10, 2009

Find a Hobby

Why is it that when you really want a relationship, "they" tell you to take a class or find a hobby? I have had lots of hobbies...

1. The following hobbies are mostly women: ballet, tap, jazz, Mexican Folkloric dancing, horseback riding...
2. Community Theater/Choirs--mostly women and men who are neurotic or gay.
3. Country Line Dancing--takes place in bars and though I go with friends, I have met jerks.
4. Church--More than a hobby, but generally not a good place to meet men.
5. Hiking--mostly men, but I can't keep up with all of my ankle sprains.
6. Playing a musical instrument--I've learned guitar and piano. Still single.
7. Meetup.com--have met a variety of people, made some friends and been hit on.
8. The following hobbies are out because of my head injury/shoulder surgery: martial arts, going to a shooting range, swing dancing, golf, surfing, etc. though I hear those are mostly men.
9. Going to the gym--not really a way to meet anyone.
10. Shopping--a great way to ruin your credit & not really a hobby.
11. Sewing/crafts/scrapbooking or art of any kind are just not my thing and not a way to meet men. Plus I don't like doing them--or did I say that already?
12. Keeping a blog/writing--Generally a solitary activity. One time I was at a cafe and met a jerk. Writing is really a lovely thing to do, though. ;)
13. Beachcombing--Did that yesterday. Made off with lots of stuff. Got hit on earlier in the day.
14. Ballroom dancing--still a bit tough to have equal numbers of men and women. Some men will be there with wives and some are so strange you'll get hives!

Having a full life is a good thing, but a hobby is supposed to be a temporary distraction. It isn't enough to replace loving and being loved. Nor will it ever be.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Basement Singles Group

How do they really feel about the Singles group? It's hard to say. On a large church campus with many new classrooms, an outstanding view and a beautiful new sanctuary, in an area that looks like they could be running a retreat house, the Singles Group meets on alternating Sundays in the basement of the Old Church Sanctuary built in the 1970s where the high school group used to meet. And in fact, some of them were in that high school group. Yes, someone had a brilliant idea of what to do with the singles too old for the Young Adult group; hide them. What singles? And yet, there in that room, we were told there would be a Christian Comedian to come and talk about dating. I asked, "Oh wait, you mean to make it funnier than it already is?" The whole room laughed. My prediction is that it will be Kerri Pomarolli who used to be on Leno. She got married at the ripe OLD age of 30. I'm sort of on the cusp of the two groups. I turned to the woman next to me:
Savvy: Wait, are they having someone talk about dating because they actually want us to date?
Leader: Yes. They even want us married!
Savvy: What? No I kissed dating goodbye?
Leader: Oh, you missed our big singles retreat. We talked about how you actually DON'T have to be content with being single and that it's OK to be actively seeking a spouse.
Savvy: You don't say. Wow. This is revolutionary.
(And a big in your face to half of the people who have given me some seriously dumbass advice.) And then there was the friend who told me to find a hobby. A woman at the table who was in her 40s and had been married had never heard of I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Thank God that evil poison of a book hasn't spread to everyone.

Savvy: I hate that book. It was written by a teenager for teens, not by someone who has actually been truly single. He didn't and still doesn't know what's really out there.

Joshua Harris, I double DOG dare you to read my blog.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Surprising Weight Loss Secrets from Oprah

We've all heard the we lose weight in summer. Maybe it's just the heat plus the activity level. Part of the way that they sell gym memberships is they have told people to sit in the sauna after a workout and it increases your calorie burn because you heart rate is elevated. On top of that, the sweating releases toxins. It's one thing to hear it from the gym rats, but another thing to hear it from Dr. Oz on Oprah who recommends it for people who are less active. He is an actual MD. I'm going to give it a shot. My present list of injuries does qualify me as less active. What have I got to lose? Actually alot. About 30 lbs. If they said it on Oprah, it must be so! (And the sauna is co-ed. Bonus! It's in a public area so people will be fully clothed! Stop thinking like that. ;)

Things I Hate About Church #1

Yes, it's good to go back, but still, there are things I hate about church.

Sitting behind those lovey-dovey couples.

Yuck. During two services no less! In one case I had an ice pack in a plastic bag and it rustled. She turned around to look at me. I said, "Sorry!" But then when they were all over each other, she didn't even think to turn around and apologize to me. I wanted to lob my ice pack at them. I didn't, if that's what you're thinking. I only ever got to sit like that once in church and we broke up in the parking lot during communion. Grr. I still remember that he smelled like goat. Oh, the odor coming up from his unwashed suit! yuck! But still, grrr!

Anything Goes Sunday

I was poised to try a different church, but Coffee Bean Ice Blended Mocha in hand I was stopped at a red light. Going through it would lead me to one church, going on the freeway would lead me to the church where I met Seattle. I didn't think I would run into a soul I knew. I hate that. During the meet/greet time I talked to someone who also goes on Tuesday nights for the young adult fellowship. I told him that this is "Anything Goes Sunday" because most people go away on these 3 day weekends. O course I heard that idea from Stuff Christians Like. Sure enough, there were 3 testimonies and a female pastor leading. Whatever you feel about female pastors, the testimonies of God moving in people's lives was powerful. I wondered if someday that would be me up there, but I know my healing isn't complete. And while I thought I would be alone, I saw Seattle a few rows forward...

I did get to talk to him for a short while. He has so many people to say goodbye to. I decided to talk to some people at a table when he was headed there.

Savvy: Hey, look at you, you're in a suit. We should take your picture.
Guy4: Thanks, you look good yourself.
Savvy: Why thank you. I almost went somewhere else. I got a coffee and I was at the onramp but decided to go here. I had you guys pegged for 9:00 service.
Seattle: No way, the only time I ever do that is when my parents are in town and they want to go to a more traditional service.
Savvy: Cool. I totally thought I wouldn't know a soul.
Guy1: And then you did.

He made two thumbs up and pointed them toward Seattle. I about died. That's what I get for telling secrets.

Savvy: So does anyone go out for lunch after?
Seattle: I would but I really have to finish packing.
Guy1: I just want to shake your hand at this last hurrah.
Seattle: I'll be there on Tuesday.
Guy1: Yeah but it's your last Sunday.

We discussed various stages of packing/purging after Guy1 left. Let's just say I'm a big fan of last hurrahs. I went on too many to count when I lived in New York. I would have been rounding people up to go out. I bragged about cleaning up at Ghetto State Beach (Leaving out the lesbian comment.) He gave me cool points. I thought about bringing my guitar or lead sheets for songs I used to sing for the Christian Bonfire Night we are having. I don't really know the new ones. When he emailed me he mentioned it, in case I hadn't heard. It made me wonder if he looked around at the 4th of July party and wondered where I was. I think he will always remember me--at least as the cute/smart/funny/slightly psycho chick who threw caution into the wind and told him she liked him "like that."

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Ghetto State Beach on the 4th of July

This 4th I found myself at Ghetto State Beach where revelers left trash everywhere. There is a reason why your mother told you not to walk barefoot on the beach–I found a Corona bottle and an empty Vodka bottle. I picked up several bags of recyclable trash at another campsite. While beachcombing and picking stuff up, I walked away with kids sand toys, a boogie board, a wake board, a towel, child size flip flops, a styrofoam cooler and two woven beach mats. I could have taken home alot more. I never want to go to this beach on a holiday unless it’s to organize some volunteers to clean the beach. And when I got to my car some b$tch lesbian (Yes she really was a lesbian and she really was a b$tch.) was leaning against my car talking to her girlfriend and told me she cleaned a spot on the car. On top of that she kept waving at me and smiling to taunt me. (Or attempt to anyway.) I was disgusted. I usually go to beaches that are attached to nicer parts of town. How are people so careless? I wish I had told her she was fired for not cleaning the rest of of my car, but I really don’t want to get into any more verbal altercations with crazy people.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Going Away Party

It's really almost humorous when you attend a Going Away Party for someone you don't know very well. We were at a loud retro bar that served Korean/Mexican tacos. We toasted with microbrew and danced when they threw on Michael Jackson. And then I was cornered with a question...

Guy: So, how do you know Seattle?
Savvy: Um, well, we met at church recently.
Guy1: Really? How recently.
Savvy: Two weeks ago.
Guy1: And you became friends that fast?
Savvy: Um, well, yes.
Guy1: So what's the connection between you two? I'm trying to figure it out.

Savvy: My dad used to work in aerospace and we started talking about that.
Guy1: Nice. Hmm...
Savvy: And I sort of let it slip that it was too bad he was leaving because I would totally go out with him.
Guy1: Awesome! Good for you! Well, let me just tell you, Seattle is a great guy. You couldn't have picked a nicer one. He's really smart and he has a great job.
Savvy: Yeah, well I figured I had nothing to lose by saying something.
Guy1: What we have been talking about at church kinda gets you thinking about things.
Savvy: I had someone laugh at me for passing up the chance to go to a party for a guy who is leaving instead of going to another dinner party to meet new guys. I'm totally fine with just being friends with Seattle, but I know that a good man would be worth moving for.
Guy1: You never know what might happen in the future.

I was there for a few hours and I didn't tell that to everyone. But I was the only face they didn't recognize as readily. But all say pretty much the same thing, he's a really great guy. I wouldn't have met him at all if he hadn't introduced himself to me. And then there I was. Should I have said anything to anyone and just let it go?

People were curious about me; wanting to know where I lived, what I did and where I had been going to church.
Savvy: Well, I stopped going because I had been through so much.
Guy1: So are you kinda back or are you back with a vengeance.
Savvy: I would say I'm back with a vengeance.
Guy1: Awesome.

The other guys and Seattle nodded in agreement.

There was some fun moments. It seemed as if there were a seat just waiting for me to sit in right next to him when I arrived. When we did talk, it was mostly about his work, church, poison oak stories, hiking and how he decided to make this move back to Seattle. He mentioned that he would be coming back through for Thanksgiving to visit family in San Diego. I thought of the time I almost went to UW in Seattle and how I might be up there waiting to meet him if things were different. And they all listened with rapt attention as I talked about what the girls discussed and they told me what the guys discussed the week before. They revealed that one of the questions that they guy had asked was why girls have not been sexually pure. The answer was that girls feel like they have to give sex to get love and guys feel like they are loving by having sex with a girl. And the married girls who were answering the questions revealed that they hadn't been sexually pure.

Guy2: But we want to know what the girls said...
Savvy: Well, I don't think I agree with the girls who feel that men and women can't be friends. I think they can, you just don't call them up and share every last thing with them or make them go shopping with you.
Guy2: Yeah, but why do girls get mad at us when we try to help them with their problems, because that's how we show that we care.
Savvy: well, I know that guys need a job and if it were me, I would just tell you I need you to listen or I need your help so that you know what your job is.
Guy3: Wow, you're so awesome, I would really appreciate that.

Ultimately those guys let my reason for being there slide with a wink and nothing directly spoken.

Guy2: It seems like everyone in LA who is a 10 is trying to find a 13 to date.
Savvy: I know exactly what you mean, being a ten myself, it is just so hard.
Guy3: Oh my God, you are so funny.
Savvy: Thank you.
Guy2: There are a lot of girls who really don't have a personality because they've been able to get through life on just a smile. I'm looking for a girl who has more substance.
Guy3: Exactly.
Savvy: Well, speaking on behalf of the gorgeous, I am seriously offended. It's really tough for us. How dare you laugh.

It was great to get to know people who want to glorify God in their lives. It was great talking to guys who really wanted to treat girls with respect as sisters in Christ. One of the guys talked about asking out a non-Christian girl and said he didn't go out with her again because he knows who he is, and even though she was attractive on many levels, he knows who he is and wants to be true to that. I think I understand.

In the end, I got much more out of the party than I expected. I bought Seattle a beer and told him he shouldn't have to pay for anything tonight. I let him talk to his friends who he had known longer than me. And yes, it is a little bit weird. I caught him looking at me a few times. Cute? Puzzling? Psycho? Could lose 30 lbs? What was he thinking? At the end of the evening, he walked me to my car and gave me a hug. Sometimes I wonder what possessed me when I told him that I would go out with him. I still would even though he's leaving. I could be faithful to someone, even though he was far away. I just don't know what he wants or if he would want that. I honestly can't believe that he doesn't have a girlfriend. You can all pray that I will be nominated for the position by his friends who found me cute, sweet, charming and maybe a little on the awesome side for being brave enough to say something to a friend who they esteem so highly. Perhaps I've earned the title of "cool chick." I am glad that I have known him for this short period of time because he has been a perfect gentleman and an example of the kind of man I want to be with. I seriously thought they didn't exist from what I have been told by so many people.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

It's OK to Date at Church

I almost avoided another talk on marriage--I was on a date actually and I thought--should I go to church or work on actually marrying this guy in front of me? After awhile of going to church it's hard to believe that they will say anything I haven't heard before. Except they did in a way that I didn't expect. They had couples who met at church be on the panel. They asked how they met and how the relationship progressed. And they're saying this is all OK. One of the questions was whether or not they had physical parameters in terms of their dating life. They were kind of on the spot, so of course, they said yes. But the truth is, maybe they did. I haven't had sex with any of the guys I have gone out with. My lack of experience is a turn-off for them. And though this hurts my feelings sometimes, it's better that way. Being that it was OK to date at church, there was a guy there who I became interested in...

When I met Seattle last week, I asked another guy:
Savvy: I know guys like to fix things, so I was just wondering if you met someone and liked them would you say something if they were leaving? Guy: Sure, why not, you have nothing to lose. Savvy: OK, I'm going to to that.
I lost the nerve. Then that Guy ended up asking me for my phone number. Weird.

This week I watched Seattle walk into church when everyone was already seated. I had butterflies in my stomach and maybe saw stars. As we walked out after the service, he was suddenly right next to me and I said:

Savvy: Hey... I was surprised to see you this week. Um, so are you excited about your move to Seattle?
Seattle: Yes, it's a little stressful. Soon it will be my last day at work.
Savvy: Ummm...wow..great.

I lost the nerve...but then after fellowshipping with a few other people we were both still there and I decided I had nothing to lose. Seattle is going to be working in aerospace up there. Smart is really hot. We talked about the move.

Savvy: Hey again. Interesting talk, huh?
Seattle: Yes, definitely.
Savvy: So do you have any ideas about where you will be going to church and stuff?
Seattle: I'm going to love with my parents for awhile and checking out a few leads I have. It's a little bit rough to find a singles crowd in their 30s.
Savvy: Yes, that's cause they don't really know what to do with us.
Seattle: A large church like this one should draw enough of a critical mass.
Savvy: Umm, yes, it should...It's really too bad you're leaving because I would totally go out with you.

He smiled a little.
Savvy: Oh my, I can't believe I said anything. Did I totally stick my foot in it?
Seattle: No, actually, you didn't.
Savvy: It doesn't have to be anything, we can be friends, it's just that I felt like I had nothing to lose if I told you and I would at least gain a friend.
Seattle: I'm having a going-away party this Thursday. You're invited if you would like to come.
Savvy: I would love to go.

My hands were shaking as we exchanged numbers and emails. We hugged. Of course I am going. I stuck my foot in my mouth and I'm going to enjoy roasting it as Korean BBQ with him.

I told some people from the prayer team about this:
She: You just turned bright red talking about him. You must really like him.
Savvy: Yes, honestly, from the moment I met him.
He: I went on a trip with him and he is an absolute gentleman.

I was so glad to hear this. Actually, no matter what happens, I was a bit relieved to find a church where I feel accepted. I thought this would take much more work than it did. As far as Seattle goes, there is a pallet with a variety of shades. I have no idea what the painting will look like.