Some of my friends and acquaintances think it's only about sex--when you have it, how soon you have it and how often you have it.
I met a guy at a bar through friends recently. He even said, "The highlight of my evening was meeting you." Seriously, that is so romantic!! I was curious...
Savvy: So whatever happened to his friend. we seemed to be getting along.
Friend: His friend has a girlfriend.
Savvy: I guessed that.
Friend: He's been living with her for years.
Savvy: I KNEW it!! He asked for my phone number, gave me a kiss and everything and then I didn't hear anything
Friend: Well, he has some fun every once in awhile....
Fun. Is that what it's called? That's a definite case where having sex would have been a really dumb idea. Click read more!
People tell me I should do it anyway to get my "needs met". If I need to "just do it" then I need to get paid to do it. It is what it is. I'm not so critical of those sugar daddies, they are at least honest about what they are after.I would rather get paid to do it and at least end up with some souvenir if there isn't going to be a relationship attached to it. Now people just promise that they might want a relationship and that is supposed to be good enough.
Another friend shared a story:
Sylvi: And guys today don't even wnat to date. They just ask to come over.
Savvy: It's pretty terrible.
Sylvi: Sometimes I have had sex before the first date.
Sylvi: Yeah, sure, what's the big deal?
Savvy: I don't know.
Sylvi: And then the guy asked me if we still have to go on the date since we just had sex.
Sylvi: Do I still have to take you on a date?
Wow, that's really something else.
Then, yet another said--
Dude: I had a loving relationship with a woman and we had sex on the first date. Maybe you need to free your mind and just go for it.
Savvy: even without knowing anything about him.
Dude: Yeah, just ask them if there is anything you need to know about first.
Savvy: With someone you aren't even sure you can trust. Is this an exclusive relationship?
Dude: No, someone would have to be sure that they want to make that step first.
Savvy: So I have to sleep with someone I don't know on the first date not knowing how many other people they are sleeping with. That's gross.
Dude: How is it gross? You have to be sure that's what you want with someone.
Savvy: Chlamydia, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, herpes, AIDS, crabs, trichomoniasis, HPV, various undiscovered diseases and that's not gross? People are all worried about the swine flu and STDs aren't gross? Thanks anyway, I'll pass.
Dude: All you have to do is wear a condom.
Savvy: Oh, then no one told you that condoms are no guarantee. You can still get herpes, crabs and just about anything else if the condom slips off--including pregnant.
Seriously, I'll pass. I'm not just being judgmental--these are viral and bacterial infections I just don't want to get! Trichomoniasis is a parasite. Yum! Crabs are pubic LICE! The way people are so careless about what they do, it's even more important to be cautious. But I want more than caution. I want it to be special. I still want to wait until I get married. But now having sex is considered to be the most unspecial thing. It seems like now I have to do it with every date--even if I don't want to. I'm not feeling very liberated, evolved or anything else that was ever promised about liberty and choice that was supposed to come with women's liberation or the sexual revolution.