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Monday, June 29, 2009

Looking for A New Church As A Single

An old friend from high school wants me to go to church with her. She's on her second marriage. That's fine--it's just that I can't seem to even get married once. She said, "I just know you will like my church."

I'm sure I will...I'm sure that it totally turned her life around. I'm sure it's scripturally sound and does all the things it is supposed to be doing. I'm sure the fellowship is great. But I'm not sure it will be for me.

Will it be the kind of church where singles are welcome?
Will it be the kind of church where I might meet someone?
Will it be the kind of church where I will be happy going if I never meet anyone?

I don't know. Because at this point I'm trying to create a life that I never envisioned in a way that I never expected. I'm trying to be brave, but it's a life by myself. A life where I just work and have friends. It's just not anything I knew--or any of us knew. When we were growing up, most people were married. I never expected that it would be happy all the time, but I certainly didn't expect to be alone all the time. How do I make my happiness for myself? People told me it was sad when I said I was going to have to learn to be my own husband. But that was years ago and there still hasn't been anyone--at least not for more than a month. (end)


Avril said...

This is why I love reading your blog because you always keep it real. When I started telling my friends that I had to accept the fact that I might not ever get married, they looked at me with such sadness. And I wasn't saying it to get pity or to get down on myself. I was saying it because I started to realize that I must learn to get on with my life alone because nothing has been happening and there is a possibility that it might be this way for awhile.

Do you think that coming to grips with that is not trusting God or is it just facing reality? I don't know sometimes...

SavvyD said...

Avril--I wish I knew the answer. I don't. There are more singles than there have ever been at any time in history. I know from experience that dating people who don't care about you and are trying to get something you aren't ready to give doesn't help either. Right now I have a crush on a man who is moving 3000 miles away. How did I miss meeting him in all the years he was living here where I am? It gave me hope that the kind of man I am looking for exists no matter the outcome. Most likely the outcome is nothing. I wish I understood why God would have me meet this man NOW.