Sometimes you have far too much ammo against your friends. Swing has been depressed about his ex-wife recently. As a recap, she cheated on him. Recap from my side, that was the kind of woman she was and that's what you get when you start sleeping with someone you don't care about yet, and don't require that they care about you to sleep with you. Why should they then care if they sleep with someone else? And why should you care that they did either? Seriously folks, these are byproducts of a messed up approach to relationships. Did I say that? No.
But let me tell you what he said to me.
Swing: Maybe you shouldn't go out on dates anymore because guys expect to start a sexual relationship when you go out with them.
Savvy: After 3 dates.
Savvy: When I don't even know if they care about me.
Swing: Well, maybe you should find other ways to meet guys like being friends with them.
Savvy: I've been friends with guys for years and years without anything going anywhere.
Swing: Well it's just that when you go out on a date, it raises the expectations.
Savvy: So I should never go out to dinner with a man again.
Swing: No, I don't mean that.
Savvy: Weren't you in love with at least the first few people you were with?
Swing: Oh yes, and I had such vast experience. I didn't really require that.
Savvy: So I should just give it up without even knowing if a guy cares about me.
Swing: I think nowadays you can't expect a guy to make an emotional commitment first.
Savvy: That makes so much sense. You know Stever Harvey from Saturday Night Live wrote a book called Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man and he said that a woman should make a man wait 90 days like a probationary period.
Swing: That's ridiculous. You can't expect a guy to wait by some formula.
Savvy: I'm just saying what he said in his book. You're asking me to do something that I don't know how to do. I've only been with one guy ever and I don't know how to just give it up to some guy who I don't even know if he cares or if he's worth being with. I want to get to know someone first.
Swing: That's why I said you should be friends with them.
Savvy: I should have become a nun is what you're saying.
Swing: No. I don't know what I'm saying.
Savvy: So by your rules, how many guys should I sleep with before I meet someone who is really worthwhile? 2 or 3 more? How about 10? How about 50? Is 50 too many? What do you REALLY think about a women who has slept with that many guys? How would you really feel about her? Be honest.
Swing: I don't know.
Savvy: Oh yeah, and what STD am I going to risk getting with all of those guys who I'm sleeping with who I don't even know if I can trust? And how many women have they slept with?
Swing: I don't know. I have to eat. Let me think about it. I'll try and come up with an answer.
Savvy: Fine. Eat. Whatever. Later.
Like I care. (Right now I don't. I'm mad.) Being friends with Tall got me heartache. Being friends with Swing might get him a fat lip. Yeah right--with my gimpy shoulder.
What does care even mean? I didn't say marriage, I mean care--calling when you say you will, being there when you say you will, knowing if you like someone. After 3 dates I'm not even sure if I really like someone, why would I have sex with them? Who is really stupid in this scenario?
Wow. Christianity requires that we wait till marriage--our interpretation of keeping the marriage bed pure. I would be willing to wait for love and now that isn't even available. I'm supposed to just be a whore. In that case, what does it matter if the people involved are married, single, committed or anything else. No wonder our relationships are so messed up.