Let's review. My resolutions got me a Miss America winning speech nomination from a guy I met.
1. To live better.
2. To eat better.
3. To love more.
But, the truth is that it's been a little bit hard to accomplish. I already told you about how I had violated one of them.
1. I have been living a little better. I have been taking care of the things I need to, working, and paying my bills.
2. Eating better--do french fries count as a vegetable? Does ben & Jerry's creme brulee ice cream count as milk? Is chocolate really good for you? Is being on my period a good excuse? I did have a salad for dinner, but is that enough to make up for the other evils?
3. Swing thinks I should change my New Year's resolution and we came up with a new saying together. He thinks I should resolve to tell people to fuck off.
Swing: With how angry you've been lately, you'd probably tell the man of your dreams to fuck off.
Savvy: I know. And I'm supposed to be Christian. I feel terrible.
Swing: Oh, I don't know.
Savvy: Do I sound like a swearing muppet or something.
Swing: Do you want to?
Savvy: Hyahh!! How dare you cross moi!! On the other hand, if I tell someone to fuck off and he still likes me, that's a really good sign.
Swing: That's a distinct possibility.
Savvy: If you love someone, tell them to fuck off. If they come back, they're yours. If they don't, it was never meant to be.
And that is a new twist on an old saying. I guess I just have issues. However, once we talked about all of these things, I felt better. I've been getting a little bit less hot-headed. Maybe it will lead to living better.