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Monday, December 29, 2008

The Mini-Date

You've heard of speed dating. Now there is mini-dating. It's the coupling up of two people for a brief discussion apart from the group. This gives the couple the chance to decide if they should go on a longer date. (Or that would be a complete waste of time.)

I talked to some guy at a bar--I've met him before through Meetup. We started talking about relationships. We also noticed a couple developing. They separated from the group. He said that was a mini-date since modern dating is so different now. I said I was familiar with the idea.

He suggested we go somewhere to talk.

Hmm, that was interesting. He seemed to find me attractive. The conversation did get more involved than i wanted it to in some ways. In other ways, I learned that guys are having a terrible time with dating also. He took a girl with him to a Mteeup event. She ended up swearing at him and walked off when he went to buy her something to eat. Not only that, she was picky about what she would eat. She didn't like the h'orsdovers they had, and she wasn't the In-n-Out burger or MacDonald's type. Wow, and I thought my dating life was bad.

I said that marriage and family were devalued and it was hard to know what you're going to get any more. He said that he couldn't have any more children because he had a vasectomy. Wow, not that I needed to know.

Guy: I wouldn't want to date you because you want to get married and have kids.
Sav: What? I didn't say anything of the kind.
Guy: Yes, you did.
Sav: No, actually I didn't say that at all. I said that marriage and family were devalued and that it didn't seem to be what guys want any more.
Guy: Well, do you want kids?
Sav: I don't know.
Guy: That's a yes.
Sav: No, it really is an I don't know.
Guy: You should have kids. You would be a cool mom.
Sav: What I really want is a relationship with a man who actually cares about me.


I don't even know what to say to that. I've never been the type to sit there and plan out what torturous things I will do to my little girls or boys that I had--how I would comb there hair, what they would look like or what schools I would send them to. I've never planned ugly-ass bridesmaids dresses. I don't even know what to think about something that may never happen.

Considering the way the world is and how hard it is being single, knowing what torture my future child might go through, do I really want a child? I don't know. I really, really don't.

A few nights later, I saw him at another event. He went from girl to girl to girl to talk to them and get to know them. It just seems like he is trying too hard. I was having fun with my friends. I said hello to him but it was like he barely recognized me. Hmmm... very interesting. Maybe that's his problem...the inability to truly connect with women.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Holiday Hookup and Hefeweissen

I went out with Betty and Becky Sue. I found out why I haven't heard from her in a few days. She said she couldn't get out of bed because the holidays depress her. I have so rarely had a boyfriend for the holidays that I don't get depressed, though I spent a month depressed over Tall. I definitely empathize.

The holidays make alot of people anxious. Maybe next year I'll pay an out of work actor to pretend to be my boyfriend. It made everyone so happy when I had a boyfriend last year.

A few posts back someone said something about meeting a decent Christian guy at a bar. Whatevs, peeps. I just go to hang out with my friends and try whatever Hefeweissen they have on tap. I was there to do that and dance with my friends. That's all.

I met a guy who started flirting with me. It was interesting. I found him somewhat attractive and was pretty sure I had met him before. I couldn't remember his name, and I can't now either.

Sleazy: Well, I'm going to leave now.
Savvy: OH, really?
Sleazy: Yes, I have to get away from your friend's french fries.
Savvy: Oh.
Sleazy: Do you want to go home with me?
Savvy: ...
Sleazy: Just kidding!
Savvy: Oh. So long as you're kidding.
Sleazy: Well, I'm really tired and you won't go home with me, so goodnight.
Savvy: Wait. I'll go. haha! Just kidding!
Sleazy: Oh, so you're a tease.
Savvy: No, I'm not at all. I though you were kidding.
Sleazy: No.
Savvy: Oh. Well, I'm really flattered and you're a good looking guy, but I've never done that and I'm not about to start.
Sleazy: Never say never.
Savvy: Never. I never will do that.
Sleazy: It's too bad. Are you sure you don't want to go home with me? We would have alot of fun.
Savvy: Fun? Really? It doesn't sound that much fun to worry if I have something from the experience or will have something in 9 months time.
Sleazy: Well, when you put it that way...
Savvy: I'm looking for a relationship and I'm willing to wait until I find someone who cares about me.
Sleazy: You can't blame a guy for trying.
Savvy: Ummm...See you around. Drive safely, OK?


I would be ruder to someone I wasn't going to see again. Betty said I shouldn't ever date any of the guys from Meetup. Unfortunately it's too late and I already have. Swing (who I hung out with the following night)said I should be flattered not insulted that he asked me. Another guy said I should join Meetups that are based around an activity like hiking or say dog walking because he has a dog. Becky Sue snort laughed.

Savvy: That guy asked me to go home with him.
Becky: What guy?
Savvy: The one that was eating your fries.
Becky: Haha, he didn't get very far with you. That blonde guy, right?
Savvy: What was his name?
Becky: Classic!! He hit on you and you can't remember his name.


We both snort laughed. It's funny in so many ways. In so many other ways it isn't.



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Friday, December 26, 2008

The Unusual Christmas Card

Dear Savvy,
Here is a picture of the happy family. You can put it up on your dartboard and use it for target practice just for spite. Or you can put it in your shoe for extra arch support. Let's catch a movie sometime on DVD at my place. It's hard with the kids.

Love,
Issues
(Your longest time friend from college who has some serious anger issues that she couldn't have children naturally.)


I have a friend who, after serious medical intervention in all cases, is pregnant for the 3rd time. She went through years of being extremely bitter. Through it all, I told her that she should be thankful for a husband who loves her no matter what. Some of us don't even have that. She sent me the usual picture postcard of the family with a note that I don't know what to make of...

One time we went shopping together and I was keeping her son entertained while she was in the bathroom. She came out and was looking at me funny.
Issues: I don't know how you do it. You're so good with him. When I couldn't have kids I was so mad that I didn't even want to talk to a kid. I would just cry and storm off.
Savvy: Well, hon, that's cause you're sick in the head. But I love you anyway.


When she called to announce that she was having her 3rd child, I was happy for her.
Savvy: Hey, cool. This one's for me, right? I'll tell everyone you're having my baby.

It think it's important to keep a sense of humor. This same friend told me that I should have my eggs frozen for future use because they had just started that program where she was going for fertility treatments.

Seriously, what do you say?

Maybe next year I'll be like Paris and send out pics of me with my little Chihuahua. Of course I'll have to rent one because I don't want one.



Thursday, December 25, 2008

I'm in a Bad Relationship

I'm in a really bad relationship right now. Common sense would tell me to get out. Believe me, I'm trying. But it's hard. Especially around Christmas and I have no idea where he is. He'd probably do something as stupid as that guy if he were here.
We never go out.
He never calls.
He doesn't bring me flowers.
He doesn't seem to remember when my birthday is.
He does his own thing for the holidays.
I never know where he is.
My guess is that he's probably watching football on Saturday and maybe playing Second Life.
I've been waiting a really long time for him to ask me to marry him.
He's probably dating other women--that is when he isn't playing video games and watching football.
He stays at work way too late.

Seriously, what a JERK!!

Lastly, he doesn't seem to be very social. Because if he were more social, maybe we would have actually met so he could do these things on purpose instead of because we've never met!

Monday, December 15, 2008

When it rains, it pours

Lord knows that most of California is kind of funny. Our weather is definitely a part of that. We are dry most of the year. Sometimes we are dry for several years at a time with hardly a drop of rain. I have a feeling that we will make up for it this year. When it does rain here, it pours. When we have rain, we have flash floods, landslides, major accidents, road closures and were were starting to wonder if we weren't going to have a tornado since some clouds were so thick, black and ominous. What the crap!! This is SUPPOSED to be SUNNY California.

And honestly, I feel like I am in a desert myself--Spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically and romantically. Lately I've just been a little bit miserable. But it's not just me. It's infected so many of us just a little bit. After the harsh rains, landslides and accidents, the weather clears and everything grows. We have spring in the middle of winter. It's so weird.

I just hope I don't have to wait too much longer for it rain on me.