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Monday, June 30, 2008

Breaking Up IS Hard to Do--NOT!

Sometimes it's really easy. Tall called me to explain why he didn't call me on Sunday. Truth be told, I really didn't care that much. I had already made my decision and after listening a short while I told him. I was going to call you and tell you all the same things.

I have a theory that it only really takes 3 dates to decide if you want to pursue someone. The 3rd date is the deciding date. Sometimes it happens sooner. This time things happened sooner.

Savvy: We want different things in a relationship. I'm too innocent for you. I know it and so do you.
Tall: I hate to come across as a pig.
Savvy: Honestly, I understand completely. I would feel like I'm giving you alot and you would feel like you aren't getting what you really want. You just went through 3 years of a relationship where you didn't get what you wanted.
Tall: Well, at first I thought you were testing me and you just wanted to make me wait a little bit. I was OK with that. But then I realized you were for real.
Savvy: I never pretended. I know that making guys wait ended up costing me a relationship with someone I really liked a few months ago. I wish I could just go for it, but then he never told me directly, he just implied it. It's not what you would expect from someone who is not shy. But I'm shy when it comes to other things.
Tall: You have standards and you're very clear about communicating them.
Savvy: I'm glad that you respect me enough to notice.
Tall: I think you're great and I really like you. And then there's the religion thing. You're really religious and I'm not.
Savvy: That's actually funny to me because there are so many people who think I'm like spawn of Satan because I'm not churchy enough. I laugh too loud, I'm fun, I date. I'm scandalous.
Tall: No, you're not. We should talk next week and see about hanging out.
Savvy: That would be good because I'm always in favor of friends. Though, it'll be hard for you. You know you have the hots for me.
Tall: I'm definitely attracted to you. There's a strong attraction on both sides.


Well, sort of. I wanted to give things a shot. He was a good kisser... I'm always going from one guy to the next these days. This is a completely different chapter in my life than I have ever been through before. Maybe it's because we are all lonely singles hoping to connect and find... well, umm... that we're still lonely. That we still have trouble connecting.

Savvy: All right, let's talk. Right now my phone just started beeping because the battery is running out. I should go.
Tall: OK. Talk to you soon.


I'm sure he was relieved. Breaking up was never so easy! Then again, it's not like he was ever really my boyfriend. I called a friend of mine back because I still haven't figured out how to switch back an forth between calls on my cell phone.

Savvy: Sorry! I was just breaking up with someone.

I was chirpy as a parakeet.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Incredibly Base Bass

Bass--That jerk I dated.
Base--1. morally low; without estimable personal qualities; dishonorable; meanspirited; selfish; cowardly.
(See Bass)

I keep getting different stories about Bass. I ran into Kimmy again, who revealed how Bass was at Beach Volleyball when I wasn't looking.

Kimmy: So, tell me, you guys went to get margaritas after volleyball, did Bass go? How was it?
Savvy: No, he didn't. I was kind of hoping he would in a way.
Kimmy: D, you're so funny. You were, like, totally telling me that you didn't want to go and what a jerk Bass is and then you got there and everything was fine.
Savvy: Yeah, but I was acting. I mean, I'll be nice to someone's face, but all we did was talk shit about Bass once he was gone. I hugged everybody but him.
I didn't tell her about how I flipped him off behind my hand.
Kimmy: He kept looking at you the whole time. He was doing double takes. Every time he thought you weren't looking, he was looking at you.
Savvy: Are you serious?
Kimmy: Every time you said something funny, he was looking at you with a smirk on his face.
Savvy: Tell me something, did he even talk to anyone at all before I got there?
Kimmy: No. Every time I've run into him he's been really quiet. I've barely heard him say two words.
Savvy: See, that's what kills me. I'm the only person he really could talk to, still the only person he talks to at all and he totally blew it with me. He used to talk my ear off sometimes.
Kimmy: Seriously?
Savvy: He was so different with me.
Kimmy: Have you tried calling him?
Savvy: Yeah, but he doesn't call me back anymore or answer my text messages--though he told Bill he still wants to be friends with me.
Kimmy: That's so weird.
Savvy: Yeah. I'm trying to move on without him, not care anymore. It's been really hard. But knowing that he lied like that to Bill makes it a little easier. I mean, what else could he lie about?
Kimmy: Yeah, that's totally weird.
Savvy: Though Bill does have ulterior motives--he wants to get in my pants.
I winked.
Kimmy: Hahaha. You're soooo cuuute. I want to see you drunk sometime! I'll bet you're sooo fun. Let's go eat. The bread here is killer!


As I drove home later, I wondered if Bass was thinking about the good times when he was looking at me. I wonder if he feels bad, like the person who sent this card to Post Secret:


But then, he's so incredibly BASE for the things he did.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Room for Improvement

Weighing the pros and cons of dating Tall...The last thing you want to hear from someone is that there is room for improvement even before the second date! Tall stuck his foot in his mouth. I think I might have to be done, there's too much room for improvement on his side. It's not worth working on. What's not worth working on...Let's see...

We were kissing and talking (yes) the conversation took an interesting turn.
Tall: The girl I was dating before was used to guys fawning over her.
Savvy: Really? Was she totally hot.
Tall: You could say that. But recently she gained alot of weight.
Savvy: You don't seem to have a problem with my weight.
Tall: Well, there's room for improvement.
Savvy: We ALL have room for improvement.

Yep, I've gained weight with all of my injuries. Yep, that was a little bit of a dig after all, he was the one who revealed that he's been going to weight watchers. He's not just Tall, I could have called him Big&Tall--but I'm kind until pushed. He's also 14 years older than me. What was I thinking?? I could do without the complex of dating someone who wants to make out with me AND tell me I need to lose weight. And let's just say, he obviously enjoyed kissing me.

Twice he has called me a bitch. It seems like it's the new cool to call a woman a bitch. I must have stiffened up.
Tall: I meant it affectionately.
Savvy: Please don't call me that ever again. I don't like dirty words from someone I'm dating. Now you really owe me a detention.
Tall: That's what Sunday is for.

I don't call my friends or boyfriends derrogatory names. I can only think of one that I call anything bad. Besides, if he can call me bitch affectionately, what can he call me when he's angry??

He said his son called him and probably wants to spend time with him. Fine. That's totally fine with me. Because while he was standing right there at the bar, two other guys were trying to pick up on me and told me what pretty eyes I had. One asked me if I wanted to go make out with him. The main one who has room for improvement is him, not me.

Justice: Girl, I may have a blindfold on, but I can see that you need to dump him. Quit weighing anything. Take my sword and cut him out of your life.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Dating Tall, Buying Shoes

I had a decent time with Tall who I met at the Happy Hour event I attended. Tall met me for dinner and the conversation flowed easily. I did want to kiss him when I saw him and he didn't seem to want to kiss me.

Of course, while I was waiting for Tall, I got that booty call from Cal that left me laughing. I haven't heard anything further from that one. And that's just fine by me. It's funny, in those dating books they all say that you should keep busy after a date with someone. Now I know why. I just never thought I'd actually get one of those calls while I was OUT on a DATE.

Tall didn't really have a plan for us for after dinner. That sort of bothered me.
Savvy: Well, we said you were going to serve a detention for me.
Tall: Oh yes, that's right. That's sort of a bad girl thing to say...
Savvy: You were naughty and used a bad word in front of me.
Tall: I'm sorry.
Savvy: And we agreed that your detention would be shopping.
Tall: Oh, should we go to the mall?
Savvy: Yes, but there's just one problem, I have to go to that really big mall to get what I need because that's the only place where they have the shoes I want in the size I need.
Tall: Your wish is my command.


He kept stopping to kiss me on the way to the car. I know you wanted to kiss me when you saw me, I was just making you wait. He got a little fresh with me in the car by putting his hand on my thigh. I let him. I found the shoes I wanted. He tried to help me pick out some other shoes--really high heels in pink.

Cashier: So, what card will you be using?
Savvy: ....the store card.
Cash: Will that be your card or his card?
(That would have been a nice gesture. It wouldn't be the first time a guy gave me pair of shoes on a date.)
Tall: Nice try! You're slick, Savvy. Any card that isn't mine.
Savvy: Um, haha, yes.
Cash: Well, it will eventually go to his accound some way or another, right? Isn't that how it always works? You pay for it now, but really, he's the one paying.
Savvy: It's our first date.
I whispered. Tall started lurking a few feet back.
Cash: It's all the same, sweetie. He whispered back.
We walked away with my purchase.
Savvy: Were you embarrassed?
Tall: Yes, a little.
Savvy: Look at you, you turned red! Nothing really embarrasses me.


OK, nothing except maybe shopping and making out with someone I hardly know. I started thinking that things were moving a little too fast. When we were in the store, he kissed me on the up escalator, then on the down escalator. Then in the parking lot leaning against the car. Then in the car up and down my neck.

On the way back the joking got a little out of hand.
Tall: I almost made a first date faux pas by heading back to my place on autopilot.
Savvy: Um, yeah, I would have thought you were up to no good.
Tall: We already established you're a good girl. Unless you weren't being truthful.
Savvy: Oh no, I was. Though I do like kissing.


I admit to letting the kissing go on a bit because I started thinking that maybe there wouldn't be another date. He withdrew a little on the way back home. His hands stayed on the wheel. Maybe this would have worked with another girl, but it wasn't enough for me to do anything really. He admitted to having had pickups and casual sex. I've never done that and I'm not about to start. It's just hard to say no to kissing when I don't do anything else and I haven't had a steady boyfriend in awhile. The kiss goodnight was especially sweet.

He made a second date with me, but then....
Tall: I feel really bad about it... I was really looking forward to spending time with you. It was a really great end to my day. You were the only bright spot in it and you give me the excuse to get out of the office. They scheduled all these meetings for me as I'm taking over a colleagues accounts while she's away on maternity leave. How about Friday?
Savvy: I can't I have plans. I'm going to..
Tall: Oh, you don't have to explain. It's not like you're my girlfriend.
I know you're going to the Happy Hour on Thursday, so I'll see you there.
Savvy: As long as you know that doesn't count as a date. How about Saturday?
Tall: I have a party I'm attending.
Savvy: Ahhh.
Tall: Sunday?
Savvy: Yes. Sunday looks like our best option.
Tall: I feel really bad about it, again. I also have to watch my finances.
Savvy: Yes, I understand. And don't worry about Wednesday. I'm sure I'll find something to do with myself.
Tall: I'll bet you're going to blog about me.
Savvy: Yeah, so you better treat me well because that determines what I write. Plus we have mutual friends.


I really do understand. That's the flashing pink neon sign sign for, I don't want to spend money on you when you aren't going to put out. It's also code for He's Just Not That Into You. I can live with that. I can live with him thinking I might blog about him. I was also relieved that I didn't open my mouth when he cancelled. Wednesday seemed tentative, so I had already made other plans!

Church Lady Lives!

I was naughty at church today. I went to a noon mass followed by an organ recital because friend of mine was playing the organ. He was fabulous. I thought it would be no harm or foul to put on my contacts and a little makeup. I mean, no one was looking, right? I was seated behind the people from my present church and there was hardly anybody even there. I ended up wearing my sunglasses during mass and felt like a freak, so I thought it would be good to do this on the sly.

Next thing I knew, a little old lady at the end of the pew was whispering loudly. At me of all people. I hadn't noticed her before.
You ought to be ashamed! This is church! You shouldn't do that in CHURCH!

I put my finger up to my lips and didn't even say SHHH! Last I checked, one shouldn't talk during an organ recital either. When I looked at her later, she had her feet resting on top of the pads for kneeling. How convenient! For shame!! I'm short--feet barely touched the floor and I didn't do that. She probably would have chewed me out for doing the same thing she was doing.

Isn't that special?
End.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Is-SHOES!

I have to get rid of some stuff. I have way too many things. I've bought clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. This weekend I got crazy with shoes. I even got blisters. At church I declared, I am now a fashion victim. Look at these blisters! I was proud. But I was not proud of how much I spent.

Fashion victim to the core, I fell for designer labels.
I have bought 5 pairs of Stuart Weitzman shoes this year. (On sale!)
I bought my first pair of Prada shoes. (Gold sandals)
I tried on my first pair of Manolo Blahniks. (4in heels are too high.)
I tried on my first pair of Jimmy Choos. (I yelped ouch when I tried to stand.)
I bought my first pair of Dolce & Gabbana shoes. (Red peep toe pumps)
I bought the Car Shoe--a strappy black patent heel. (Made by Prada)
I bought white patent Calvin Klein flats. (The ones that gave me blisters.)

I'm not sure what inspired me. Was it making Tall drive me to the mall to get those Calvin Klein flats? Was it that Tall said he loved for women to have nice shoes?

And then I began to realize, some of the other shoes I bought were uncomfortable.
Bye bye Calvin Klein strappy black patent heels.

Some don't match my wardrobe.
Bye bye Bruno Magli white and gold heels.

Some are a repeat of other shoes but with wobbley heels.
Bye bye Stuart Weitzman knockoffs.

Do I REALLY NEED another pair of gold sandals? Even though it's a slightly different/darker shade?
Bye bye Prada gold sandals.

Do I REALLY NEED another pair of black patent anything?
Bye bye Car Shoe with the cute black patent tassles.

Do I really NEED another pair of red shoes?
Bye bye Dolce & Gabbana. You squish my toes.

I salute generous return policies! (And hanging onto $600!)

Here's hoping the Calvin Klein flats will stop giving me blisters on my heels. I'm keeping them.


Shoes!! Such pretty boxes! It's almost worth it just for the box!



Monday, June 23, 2008

Heatwave In My Pants

The weather has been really HOT in California, but there is also a heatwave in someone's pants.
Liar, liar
Pants on fire.

Believe it or not, Bass is at it again. I think he might be a pathological liar. From the moment he opened his mouth, I didn't believe him. Even when he was telling the truth.

When I first met him, I thought he was lying about injuring his shoulder playing standup bass. I thought he was a hobbyist or something. Nope. He was a professional musician. What's amazing is that someone so talented could be so lacking in social skills.

Bill knows everything from me. But he saw things going on, too. Bill has ulterior motives--he would like to date me and tried to kiss me, though could never actually tell me or ask me out. But he is truthful and he does care about protecting me--from Bass.

Bill: Guess who I ran into?
Savvy: I know who.
Bill: Guess.
How annoying.
Savvy: I don't need to guess. Bass.
Bill: Yes. Well, I asked him, What's with you breaking Savvy's heart? And do you know what he said?
Savvy: What?
Bill: He said, It's not like she's making it seem. It wasn't romantic or anything.
Savvy: But then, why would he admit anything to you? Wait. He really said that?
Bill: Yes. Then I told him, she said you texted her 400 times. And he said, I don't think it was that much.
Savvy: Oh, my God. I have the phone bill to prove it. He really said that?
Bill: And then, get this, he said, I still want to be friends with her. If you see her, would you let her know?
Savvy: He really said that?
Bill: Yes.
Savvy: It wasn't romantic? Are you serious?
Bill: Yes.
Savvy: Oh my God.
Bill: I was going to tell you sooner, but I haven't seen you.
Savvy: Yeah. Haven't seen you.
Though Bill does have my number. So does Bass.
Bill: He wasn't man enough to admit to anything.
Savvy: He said he wanted to spend all summer with me, all of spring break and it wasn't romantic? Come here, I want to show you something... It wasn't romantic, my ASS.
I mumbled.

We made a beeline for where I had left my gold purse sitting with other purses. I pulled out my pink razr and was really glad I hadn't deleted the messages. I flipped through texts and showed him several.

Here we go...
1. Ice that shoulder. Sweet kisses. Bass.
2. Besos sweetos.
3. Good morning my budding sweet baby opera star.
4. Sweet child o mine, you rock!

Bill: I don't text my friends like that.
Savvy: Me either. I might call them babe or hot stuff, but certainly don't talk about kissing them.
Bill: What a jerk.
Savvy: Well, it's not like you believed him anyway.
Bill: No.
Savvy: I just don't get why he couldn't just say, Yeah, I feel bad about that.?? He begged me to stay with him, we talked on the phone all the time, we made out alot and that wasn't romantic??
Bill: You deserve better.


I told Becky Sue while we shopped for shoes.

BeckySu: Did he ever even apologize to you?
SavvyD: Yeah, he did when it was just us. But then, why would he admit it to Bill?
BeckySu: Guys don't like to admit that they hurt us.
SavvyD: Yeah, well denying everything isn't going to make it hurt any less.
BeckySu: Well, maybe now you can be angry and finally get over him.
SavvyD: I don't feel anything.
BeckySu: Imagine if he said that after you guys sleeping together. Aren't you glad you didn't sleep with him?
Savvy: You betcha.


I can't believe I ever believed him for a minute. I don't feel anything right now I'm so shocked. I used to think I wanted to be friends with him, but I'm starting to think that he doesn't know how to tell the truth to anyone. Not only that, he basically called me a liar. If he can lie like that, why does he even want to be friends with me? What else could he lie about?


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Last Minute Date

Do any girls out there still fall for the last minute date ploy? If a guy doesn't have enough forethought to make a simple plan with me a few nights ahead of time, he doesn't deserve my time. This is how I handled a call from Cal.

I was checking out a farmer's market outside the restaurant where I was meeting Tall who was just leaving work. I decided to buy some pine nuts when my phone began to ring. I thought it was Tall.

Cal: Hey there. How are you?
Sav: I'm good. What's up?
Cal: Not much. Did you have a good day?
Sav: Yeah pretty good. You?
(I caught on finally that it wasn't Tall, so I looked at my cell phone's caller ID. I couldn't read it.)
Sav: Pretty good. (Finally able to read it.)
Cal: It's Cal. I thought you would recognize my voice.
Sav: Oh sorry. How was Phoenix? I've been thinking about you the whole time.
(What a jerk you are.)
Cal: It was pretty good. I've been painting my house all day today. I'm not sure if I did it right.

Sav: Did you go with the paint we picked out on our condo tours?
Cal: No, I went with something else. I just don't really have a vision.
Sav: You need someone who has a vision, then. Or wait until you do.
Cal: Do you have a vision for my house?
Sav: I don't know. I haven't seen it.
Cal: Why don't you come over and see it. I'll make you something to eat. I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie with me tonight.
Sav: A movie. Tonight?
Cal: Yeah.
Sav: Can't, I have plans.
Cal: What kind of plans?
Sav: Dinner plans. Maybe shopping.
Cal: Really? With who?
Sav: A friend. But maybe later this week.
Cal: Can I put you on hold for a second?

(Switching back and forth, --you've been through those. I hung on the line out of sheer amusement.)
Cal: Unfortunately, dear, I have to get going, but I will call you soon.
Sav: OK, sure. No problem. Like I said, I've been thinking about you the whole time.
Cal: Wow.
Sav: Gotta go, my friend is coming.
Cal: Take care.


Click.
Jerk.

-----------------
Update--Never heard from him again.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

I Met Another Man

I never worry what I will do when a man cancels on me as Cal did. I went out to a Meetup event with a friend--a Happy Hour at a bar. Wouldn't you know it? I met a man. In fact alot of men. But one in particular wants to go out on a date with me.

Cal texted me to cancel our date. I was really OK with that because I don't want to waste my time with someone who isn't that into me. He also emailed me. I was still thinking Whatever.

In any case, I went to the happy hour thing. I ran into Pops and I have to say he looked really good to me. He had also just quit smoking, so he smelled good too. What if he only said half of the things he said to me because he was drunk? I asked him to give me a call. He bought a drink for me.

I also ended up talking to Tall who bought another drink for me. This one is more normal tall--he's only 6'3"--compared to Astro who was 6'8". I always thought it would be better if I knocked 5 inches off of him. He still would have been tall. In any case, the new tall guy is blond with blue eyes. A bit of a contrast. I don't seem to really have a type.

Becky walked by while we were talking and whispered in my ear:
Becky: He likes you.
Savvy: I can tell.
Becky: I'm glad you can because it's really obvious.
Savvy: I'm not blind because I'm stuck on Bass.


I love Becky. She knows how much I still hurt and she listens even for the 100th time. She understands that it's going to take a long time.

Tall and I talked and flirted. I was really tipsy. He even escorted me to the bathroom--I suppose to make sure that no one else horned in on his action. He walked me out to his car.

When he kissed me, I couldn't help but compare it to kissing Bass. It was nice. It came close. I told him I liked kissing that way. But I'm worried. Men expect things to go so much faster than when you are in high school. Is he thinking he will score on our date?

I asked Becky something important.
Savvy: I don't get why I keep meeting men these days. It's weird.
Becky: It's because you don't care. You always meet men when you don't care.
Savvy: You're right. It's true. I don't care about any of them. What I can have with any of them doesn't measure up to what I thought I could have with Bass.
Becky: You'll get better. I'll keep listening.
Savvy: Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to go out with Tall on Tuesday.
Becky: Tell me how it goes! I love you!!!



Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Being Single Is Fun?

So much for a break from dating. This weekend I met someone when I least expected it. That's good, right? Everyone says love will come when you least expect it. Then I met someone from Match.com the next day. I made out with one of them in his car. I made out with the other one in an elevator. That's fun, right?

Except that there were a few problems that came with that fun... seeing Bass at beach volleyball put me in a weird mood. That mood was already weird enough because I am searching for a job and went to a job fair right before I ran into Bass. After an eventful morning, getting margaritas and beer with acquaintances sounded like a great idea. We wandered around looking for a good place. What we thought was a dive turned out to be an amazing sports bar with darts, mirrored walls, flags of the world hung from the ceiling and at least 12 pool tables. It was sports bar heaven--a place that was actually a social space not just a bunch of huge TVs.

Savvy: Wow, now this is a sports bar.
Celine: Wow, who knew?
Dave: I thought this place was going to be a dive.


Some guys at a table stood up and motioned for us to come over. Somehow I ended up joining them to watch the horse race. I changed into the hat and dress I had worn to the interview and sat with them.

John: You look just like those British people at the races with your hat.

After the race, I ended up playing trivia with them. It was fun. All the while John was flirting with me, putting his arm around me, touching my knee. I was a little tipsy from hefeweizen (beer). My friends left wondering if it was OK to leave me with 4 nerdy guys who were into trivia...hmmm... sounds dangerous.

John professed having 2 children, so I figured he was divorced. He was, after all, a nerd into trivia? He was elected by the nerds to drop me off at my car. He gave me a kiss on the cheek, like on of the other nerds and suddenly his lips were on mine.

John: Wow, you're an amazing kisser, too.
Savvy: There's just one problem, I saw your ring.
John: Oh.. there's always something, isn't there?
Savvy: Yes, there is.
John: I'll have to give you a ring and tell you my story.


Hmmm...and his story would be so interesting as if I hadn't heard those kinds of stories before. Stayed together for the kids, etc. What about my story? Single and looking for someone who thinks I'm wonderful and adorable; someone who wants to make me happy and is free to do so. I'm not angry, even if some of you think I should be. I'm just sad, and sadder still because of who I saw earlier that day.

I had my own things going on. While I was sitting there playing trivia with my new friends who were buying drinks for their new Queen of Nerds, I tried calling my date for the next day. My phone crashed, so I asked John if I could use his phone. I called my date for the next day, to solidify our plans...

We met outside near a coffee shop and got frappuccinos.
Savvy: Some guys bring you flowers, some guys buy you frappuccinos, I don't know which is better.
Cal: Frappuccinos for sure.


We laughed. He wasn't that cute and was a little bit pervy. He kept talking about women in Europe going topless at the beach. He said he wasn't sure how he would explain it to his daughter. I wondered if I could get used to him. He showed me around the newly built area. Our curiosity led us to look at condos that were having open houses.
Cal: They probably think we're married.
Savvy: Whatever. Honey, what do you think of the carpet?
Agent: This condo was built in...and has 3 bedrooms and an office.
Savvy: Oh, honey, that's perfect for you. Let's go see it.
Agent: What do you think?
Savvy: Well, we aren't sure what we're looking for right now.


After a glass of wine at a small art exhibit, he suddenly looked fine to me. He showed me the restaurant he owns with his brother. They have hookahs, so we smoked hookah.

Cal: Actually, I shouldn't tell you this, but it's considered romantic for one person to blow smoke into the other person's mouth.
Sav: Sure, why not?
Cal: Really? OK.


He inhaled and held his breath while we ran around the corner where no one could see us. He led me around the building and we found a few uninhabited places where he kissed me again. Then we took the elevator where the kisses got steamier. He was a really good kisser. Now he was really good looking.

For some reason, he abruptly decided to walk me to his car. Hmm? Was it because I pushed his hand away from doing something further? I wasn't exactly in an analytical mode, but something punched through when he said he had to go get his daughter. I thought she was at a party and could stay there all afternoon...Was it? Could it be? An inner voice declared:He's just not that into you.

He said he got a call from Canada that he had to take and excused himself--family he's supposed to meet in Europe to go to Greece. Hmm... Then today I got a text message saying Sorry dear. Can't find sitter for my daughter. Before that he was saying that his mother had told him she would sit for him anytime so he could have time for a girlfriend. I wonder if he took off to see Indiana Jones because it started around the time he dropped me off at my car. I had already seen both of the movies he suggested. Hmm... I saw it coming and I really didn't care that much. I already made plans to go to a restaurant happy hour with a friend.

Yes, being single is so much fun. Or something like that.


Monday, June 9, 2008

Bass-line (baseline)

I ran into Bass while playing beach volleyball. I had a sneaking suspicion that he might be there. I know he likes the outdoors, but I do too and I already was planning on going before I knew he was going to be there. I just asked Kimmy who was there. Well, darned if I wasn't going to go.

I hugged other people hello and goodbye, but not him. I did wave. I'm a lady, I'm polite. He was nice. I sat in an empty beach chair that was by Bass.

Savvy: Is this seat taken? I brushed the sand off.
Bass: Oh, no please have a seat.
Bass: So...How's your shoulder doing?
Savvy: Torn rotator cuff.
Bass: Oh, so it's worse.
Savvy: No, this is what it always was. I had an MRI last month finally.
Bass: Oh, that stinks.
Savvy: My physical therapist has been joking that I'm really left handed because my right arm is so weak. How's yours?
Bass: About the same. I hate shoulders.
Savvy: Don't you have some time off?
Bass: No, not really.
I was thinking of summer-all summer that he said he wanted to spend with me before things fell apart. We fell silent. He pulled out his iPhone to look at something. I joked with others who wanted to know about my teacher job fair.
Savvy: So, I'm looking for a new job because apparently, I can't tell kids what to do either. (He was in the same situation as a teacher that I am now. He said he couldn't tell kids what to do.)

People know that I sing and teach choir. They also know that I'm looking for a new job because I went to a job fair that made me late for the beach.

Kimmy: Savvy, please sing something for us.
Jonas: Savvy loves to sing--especially when she's tipsy.
Savvy: Only if Bass sings with me.
Bass: I'm shy!
He giggled, fell against the towel and hid his face in his hands.
Savvy: Yeah, that's my problem, too. I sang I'm shy, terribly, horribly shy from Once Upon a Mattress. Everyone laughed. I still don't know how Bass can be so shy. He's a professional performer.
Bass: It defintely got more fun when you showed up. He smiled.

Honestly, though, I haven't forgiven him. As we were all leaving, he was standing around like he wanted to say something and couldn't. He folded up the beach chair. I hated that I had been sitting in his beach chair. He put his towel around his neck, and gathered up his umbrella. He looked like a tourist in his blue and white hibiscus Hawaiian shirt. He has two of them. We were facing each other, standing in the same position, but I was looking in a different direction. I hid behind my hat and sunglasses, pretending not to look. He looked kind of ridiculous holding all of that stuff. All he needed was the margarita balloon tied to the volleyball net.

Kimmy: So who wants the balloon? Savvy?
Savvy: My vote goes to the person who looks the most festive... I slowly pointed at Bass. People laughed again.
David: Wow, Bass, you look like your ready for a luau or something.
Bass: Haha. Where's the party? I'll pass. You look pretty festive, Savvy.


I want us to talk, I want us to be friends...oh heck, I want to be with him still. I feel bound to him somehow. I feel like I'm the only person who brings him out of his shell when he lets me. I don't know how to make the hurt go away. I hugged other people goodbye, but not him. Some of us went in search of margaritas and beer. I sort of hoped that he would join us, but his grandma lives in the town where we were. I think he went to see her, but I didn't ask. I want to forgive him, but I don't know how.

Today I texted him.
I keep thinking you're the only person who really understands what I am going through with my shoulder and with work. You give me hope that there is life after teaching.

But then again, I could be wrong. I haven't heard from him. I was hoping to reach out even though I told everyone on our margaritas and beer trip what had happened between us and what a jerk he was/is. No alcohol was required to loosen my tongue.

Maybe his bass-line can't be crossed. Maybe all this happened because I did cross the bass-line at one time. We used to talk. I keep wondering if he remembers how good it was when we did.

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base line or base·line (bās'līn') n.

Sports
The boundary line at either end of a court, as in volleyball, basketball or tennis.
The area near this boundary line: made a basket from the base line.


Friday, June 6, 2008

www.ChoirTeacherBlues.blogspot.com

Nothing really new on the dating front. Been talking to a guy from Match who seems nice. Been more worried about work. Please visit me there. It's very overwhelming being a teacher at this time.

www.ChoirTeacherBlues.blogspot.com