You've heard of speed dating. Now there is mini-dating. It's the coupling up of two people for a brief discussion apart from the group. This gives the couple the chance to decide if they should go on a longer date. (Or that would be a complete waste of time.)
I talked to some guy at a bar--I've met him before through Meetup. We started talking about relationships. We also noticed a couple developing. They separated from the group. He said that was a mini-date since modern dating is so different now. I said I was familiar with the idea.
He suggested we go somewhere to talk.
Hmm, that was interesting. He seemed to find me attractive. The conversation did get more involved than i wanted it to in some ways. In other ways, I learned that guys are having a terrible time with dating also. He took a girl with him to a Mteeup event. She ended up swearing at him and walked off when he went to buy her something to eat. Not only that, she was picky about what she would eat. She didn't like the h'orsdovers they had, and she wasn't the In-n-Out burger or MacDonald's type. Wow, and I thought my dating life was bad.
I said that marriage and family were devalued and it was hard to know what you're going to get any more. He said that he couldn't have any more children because he had a vasectomy. Wow, not that I needed to know.
Guy: I wouldn't want to date you because you want to get married and have kids.
Sav: What? I didn't say anything of the kind.
Guy: Yes, you did.
Sav: No, actually I didn't say that at all. I said that marriage and family were devalued and that it didn't seem to be what guys want any more.
Guy: Well, do you want kids?
Sav: I don't know.
Guy: That's a yes.
Sav: No, it really is an I don't know.
Guy: You should have kids. You would be a cool mom.
Sav: What I really want is a relationship with a man who actually cares about me.
I don't even know what to say to that. I've never been the type to sit there and plan out what torturous things I will do to my little girls or boys that I had--how I would comb there hair, what they would look like or what schools I would send them to. I've never planned ugly-ass bridesmaids dresses. I don't even know what to think about something that may never happen.
Considering the way the world is and how hard it is being single, knowing what torture my future child might go through, do I really want a child? I don't know. I really, really don't.
A few nights later, I saw him at another event. He went from girl to girl to girl to talk to them and get to know them. It just seems like he is trying too hard. I was having fun with my friends. I said hello to him but it was like he barely recognized me. Hmmm... very interesting. Maybe that's his problem...the inability to truly connect with women.