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Thursday, October 9, 2008

Dating 101: Why Guys Dump Girls They Dig

Nothing is more upsetting than when a dude you know is into you pulls the plug. One man gets to the bottom of out-of-the-blue breakups.

By Cosmopolitan

Updated: Sep 25, 2008

The Timing Is Off
Chances are, you've had at least one breakup that left you wondering, "What just happened?" The guy dug you, you dug him, and the whole thing felt destined for a fabulous future -- at least the foreseeable one. Then, out of nowhere, he bailed on the relationship. So what went wrong? The sad dating truth is, maybe nothing. Here are five completely ridiculous reasons guys kick you to the curb. Warning: For the most part, it ain't pretty.

Single women get serious when they meet the right man. Single men get serious with whomever we happen to be dating when we're finally ready to settle down. That means after every other aspect of our life is in order -- whether it's finishing grad school, finally pulling down a good-size paycheck, owning a car outright -- or when our friends start dropping like flies (that's guyspeak for getting married).


Savvy writes from her own experience:

In other words, it's just not fair. And ladies, it's just not being fair to yourself to give too much of yourself away to man who just isn't ready. That means time, money, devotion, sex, you name it. None of those things make him ready. The best sex he ever had isn't going to make him ready. Beating yourself up over not having sex with a guy because he wanted to (I've done this) doesn't make him come back to you. And men know that women are looking for men who are ready. Men--it's not so much that a woman wants your house or your wallet, it's just that they are looking for signs that a man is ready and won't just use them. Ladies--beware the man who talks about marriage and having things together on a date, he may be giving off signals to his advantage rather than yours.

I wish men were better at letting us know that they care about us, but the reality is, it takes time to know if someone truly does care. Using men the way they use us does nothing to advance the cause of what truly ails you as a woman--or there wouldn't be so many movies and TV shows that allude to our endless search for "the One". Even that allegedly liberated woman show, Sex and the City was all about the Search for the One. If sex were a tennis game, the advantage would always go to the man. In the days when women were protected, the advantage was the woman's. Times have changed.

Drop the Cosmo in the recycling and get real. All they have been doing for years is recycling the same articles and now even fashion is starting to look like it did 20 years ago. Seriously, do the same. Recycle. Then cancel the subscription cause you don't need all that clutter. The same goes for all the other magazines. I've stopped renewing all my supbscriptions. The writers are just as lost as you are. Why are you taking advice from them?


SavvyD said...

Hey TaireBabs--here it is. I don't know why it happens, but for some reason it ate a few posts the first time I posted it just like around when the Olympicas were on and a few of my posts magically disappeared though they were actually still on the blog. Google never addressed the issue. Strange...

Dawnie said...

i agree, i mean it dosnt take a genius to figure out they cant keep coming up with new articles. BUT..the world does change and so do people so perhaps with the changing of the times--some things would be different. I know the dating world is far different today then why i dated. For one, I would never have been as forward or direct as women are today. You also didnt sleep with a man so quickly--well maybe some did but we percieved that as "slutty".

I still firmly believe when you really want a good partner-let it go. Just live your life and while living it--somehow you will connect with that person. I've never thought it healthy to "seek" out a partner.

by the way, I cant get enough magazines, yeah i know--i have piles of them all over--BUT I donate them to places and so i do make good use of them!

P.S. I do have a 3rd available son..he is 26. No one would want him though--he's so into his self he probably sleeps with his own picture.

SavvyD said...

Hi Dawnie, the truth is that men still percieve us that way, but are willing to use women to "get their needs met" even if they don't really care about them. Honestly, I thought I was the odd woman out becuase I don't go all the way, but it's way more complex than that.

Good for you that you donate the mags to a good place.

SavvyD said...

Are you saying your son is so vain, be probably thinks my blog is about him?

Zowona said...

So true, i used to hang on almost every word those types of magazines would feed me, but since i've come to know the bible, there is no better authority on life/relationships/everything

like ur site a lot


SavvyD said...

Well Zowona, I don't know about you, but I'm hoping that I'll eventually get to actually USE some of that sex advice I've read...

Zowona said...

ha ha ha LOL!!!!! Yeah, wuuuhhhh.... 'lucky' husbands they'll be

Stella said...

I agree with Dawnie. I think some women spend too much time looking for "The One," and not enough time enjoying their life. Stop waiting on the phone to ring.

And as far as the magazines, they definitely have been recycling the articles. But, they've been recycling fashion for 30 years now. Remember 70's fashion made a comeback 10 years ago.

cletsey said...

I agree that single women get serious when they meet the right man.Anyway,I still believe that if the right men is for you both of you will settle down.

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