Nothing is more upsetting than when a dude you know is into you pulls the plug. One man gets to the bottom of out-of-the-blue breakups.
Updated: Sep 25, 2008
The Timing Is Off
Chances are, you've had at least one breakup that left you wondering, "What just happened?" The guy dug you, you dug him, and the whole thing felt destined for a fabulous future -- at least the foreseeable one. Then, out of nowhere, he bailed on the relationship. So what went wrong? The sad dating truth is, maybe nothing. Here are five completely ridiculous reasons guys kick you to the curb. Warning: For the most part, it ain't pretty.
Single women get serious when they meet the right man. Single men get serious with whomever we happen to be dating when we're finally ready to settle down. That means after every other aspect of our life is in order -- whether it's finishing grad school, finally pulling down a good-size paycheck, owning a car outright -- or when our friends start dropping like flies (that's guyspeak for getting married).
Savvy writes from her own experience:
In other words, it's just not fair. And ladies, it's just not being fair to yourself to give too much of yourself away to man who just isn't ready. That means time, money, devotion, sex, you name it. None of those things make him ready. The best sex he ever had isn't going to make him ready. Beating yourself up over not having sex with a guy because he wanted to (I've done this) doesn't make him come back to you. And men know that women are looking for men who are ready. Men--it's not so much that a woman wants your house or your wallet, it's just that they are looking for signs that a man is ready and won't just use them. Ladies--beware the man who talks about marriage and having things together on a date, he may be giving off signals to his advantage rather than yours.
I wish men were better at letting us know that they care about us, but the reality is, it takes time to know if someone truly does care. Using men the way they use us does nothing to advance the cause of what truly ails you as a woman--or there wouldn't be so many movies and TV shows that allude to our endless search for "the One". Even that allegedly liberated woman show, Sex and the City was all about the Search for the One. If sex were a tennis game, the advantage would always go to the man. In the days when women were protected, the advantage was the woman's. Times have changed.
Drop the Cosmo in the recycling and get real. All they have been doing for years is recycling the same articles and now even fashion is starting to look like it did 20 years ago. Seriously, do the same. Recycle. Then cancel the subscription cause you don't need all that clutter. The same goes for all the other magazines. I've stopped renewing all my supbscriptions. The writers are just as lost as you are. Why are you taking advice from them?