If you truly stay friends with someone you dated, you may be in for an interesting surprize. Tall seemed a bit pushy and "skeezy" as one person put it. Perhaps a more apt description was that he really wanted to be in a relationship YESTERDAY and he liked ME and he wanted to move things faster than I could handle. But now that I've had a chance to get to know him, things have changed and I'm able to see more of who he truly is as a person--as have others from our group. Guess what? He's really nice.
Guys have this tendancy to fall in love quickly, to want to move things along. Then they change their fickle minds once they get what they want--or don't. Much of the discussion with friends has been to theorize WHY men do some of the things they do.
It's been nice to discover that Tall truly cares about me as a person. And that we have much more in common than I initially believed. He really likes jazz. He was very supportive of the time I had a show and drove a great distance to see me sing. We've been talking on the phone occaisionally. He kissed me on the top of my head.
Tall: I adore you. I want you to have the best. Don't give up on relationships. I know what you're looking for and it's just not who I am.
Savvy: I give up. I'm going to grow a moustache.
True, we have huge differences still, and that's what he was referring to. He's still an atheist. I'm still a Christian. Sex and when to have it in a relationship would also be vastly different. At the same time, part of me wants to rationalize. After all, I'm used to going to church by myself. What's the difference? I don't even know what a relationship with a real Christian would look like. When I was being supergood and reading my Bible and praying all the time, I was never in a relationship. And the Christians I've dated have been pretty bad ones--guys I wouldn't have dated if they weren't "Christians."
And there lies the dilemma. On Wednesday, Tall and I will be having dinner and seeing a show. Maybe a bad idea. But the idea of spending time with someone who adores you seems like a good one to me.