I met a guy at the mall--the MALL! I've gone to that mall my whole life and I don't remember ever meeting a guy there. I was walking to the bathroom at a department store and not really caring since I've never met anyone at the mall. I noticed a guy looking for jeans.
Savvy: I used to date someone that wore a Hawaiian shirt just like that.
Hawaii: Used to?
Savvy: Used to...
I left it at that as it could have been the same shirt borrowed from his closet. I was in a hurry to get to the ladies room.
When I came back out, he was still there.
Hawaii: So you used to date a guy that wore a Hawaiian shirt?
Savvy: He still does.
Hawaii: You're not still with him are you?
Savvy: Oh, no.
Hawaii: Then how do you know he still wears it?
Savvy: Well, I run into him alot, but we aren't dating. we just have some of the same friends.
Hawaii: Oh, well, that's good. Hey, listen, if you ever need anything, here's me.
I looked at the list of construction services he provides.
Savvy: Oh, is this your business?
Hawaii: Yes, it is.
Savvy: I don't need any of these things.
Hawaii: Well, then, if you need a boyfriend.
Savvy: Oh...well, that depends on how you treat me doesn't it? And, here's me. I don't call men.
I handed him a card and started walking away.
Hawaii: Does that mean I can call you?
Savvy: I suppose.
Hawaii: I guess I have your card.
Savvy: Yep, I guess you do.
Hawaii: Bye, gorgeous!
My alternate title for this?
Ditching the Latest Loser
Why? I found out the usual, that we are totally mismatched. I mean, sure, he was on his way to church. Turns out that he is looking for one. He never went to college. I have a master's degree. I already want to correct his English when he started a sentence with, I seen. Oof, that's like nails on a chalkboard for me.
He took pains to let me know something important.
Hawaii: I just want you to know that I've never used my flyers to meet women before. I just want you know that the boyfriend offer is a special one just for you.
Savvy: Oh, well, I promise not to tell about secret services.
I almost said it wouldn't matter if he did. I mean, I seriously don't care. I've used my card to meet guys before. What's it to me?
He may be looking for a church, but when we were talking about doing something, well, his own words damned him to the pit of never going out with me.
Hawaii: Hey, maybe we'll run into each other at the mall again.
Savvy: Well, I don't usually go to that store.
Hawaii: So, what did you go there for?
Savvy: Personal things. Things that they only have there.
Hawaii: Could it be bought at Victoria's Secret?
(I mean, seriously. VS kinda sucks. They just have great advertising.)
Hawaii: SO, we should come up with something to do. You know that hotel in town? (There are alot of restaurants there.)
Hawaii: Why don't we just meet there?
Hawaii: I'm just kidding!
Savvy: I don't find that funny.
I stayed on the phone a few more minutes, but the feelings of misgivings stayed. I'd rather not go out with someone who feels like they can joke around sexually without even knowing me. It's really not funny. I've been through this before with guys. It's an early warning sign not worth a second chance. He said he would call back after church. I didn't answer.
So, who did I used to see that wears a Hawaiian shirt?
That was warning sign enough.