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Friday, July 25, 2008

Swingin' on a Star

Is there any part of swing that isn't also jazz? He asked. Well, we knew what we were talking about even if you don't. Sometimes he knew more--Tijuana brass, jump blues, swing. We talked about music mostly. The band was hot and swingin. He was late...

I'm a very forgiving soul. I gave him fair warning about how bad the traffic can be to get to my house, but he choose his own path. He was really sweet about it, though--driving so far. We found free parking because it turns out we both hate paying for parking. It's just one of the greatest sins I can think of--paying for parking. He was dressed up in a black suit with red pinstripes. I wore a retro a black shirt and black polka-dotted skirt.

Actually I would say he's a really sweet guy. He offered me his arm as we walked to the park. We ended up holding hands and sitting really close. We really enjoyed the music and talking about it. They are amazing musicians and we have both become very big fans.

He then took me to dinner at a very nice restaurant. We had nice conversation and I began to realize that I'm not that into church right now after my recent collection of experiences.

Savvy: So, do you like, go to church or anything like that?
Swing: Or anything like that? Temple or whatever?
He teased.
Savvy: Yeah...
Swing: Well, I suppose if I did, it would be the Unitarian church right now.
Savvy: Oh, the let's say nice things about God and everybody church?
swing: That's if I went anywhere.
Savvy: My guess is that you were raised Lutheran or something from where you are.
Swing: We used to be presbyterian, but then they started asking my Dad to tithe at a time when he felt like he really couldn't do that because he and my mom were just starting out.
Savvy: Wow, that's kinda rough. It's supposed to come from your heart.
Swing: We stopped going after that.
Savvy: That makes me sad to hear. I think it was easier to get into it as a young person. But as an older single person, everyone has something to say. And on top of that, being a performer makes it more complicated because some church people reallly don't like my personality.
Swing: I can see that being a problem.
Savvy: the ideal situation would be a church I liked combined with being a section leader.
We started giggling over the tendancy of the human to stop on the part that sounds like sex. Section leader. High school students start giggling when one says, today we're having sectionals. FOR SINGING!

As so often it does, the subject changed when the next dish came. We compared notes about cooking--I once won a cooking contest, he used to cook dinner for 60 at a co-op. He started telling me about his troubles at work.

Swing: I take it really personally when I'm told I did something wrong. I'm just fixing someone else's work all the time.
I began to pout and make big eyes.
Swing: What?
Savvy: Are you saying you're a sensitive guy?
He chuckled.
Savvy: I was just trying to get you to laugh.
Swing: So what happened after I left the restaurant at the dinner thing?
Savvy: well, we all were hanging out together--with Bill.
Swing: Yes, but I left before Bill.
Savvy: Oh, Bill... Bill.... He has a thing for me and I just don't like him like that.
Swing: I felt bad leaving, but you're a big girl, you can take care of yourself.
Savvy: It's true, I can, but I don't mind being taken care of some of the time. You did a really good job of taking care of me tonight.
I smiled at him. He smiled back. I realized I saw our interaction from the other night through a different filter. I told him it took me about three days to figure out that he was teasing me because his sense of humor is on the dry side. But I do think I could get the hang of his sense of humor.

There are things that worry me. He really does want to improve his work situation, so in terms of a relationship, he's not in the best of places. He walked me to my door and gave me a sweet hug and peck on the lips in parting. I don't consider that at all sexual. It was just sweet. He seemed shy about it. But he also said stuff about wanting to come to see my show if he wan't in Borneo or Austin whereever. He didn't say anything about getting together before that. He had quite a drive to get home and I called to make sure he was alright. He didn't pick up. I get the sense that our modern dating is clouded by the fact that none of us truly know what we want in our lives.

I feel like I'm finally free from the rebound. I feel like I really listen and can see a guy for who he is now. He's a very nice guy. I can tell that Swing hasn't been pursuing me even though he likes me becuase of the circumstances surrounding our meeting. I have liked him ever since then, but my mind was too clouded from other things. I'm not sure I'm in a good place. I've been a little ambivalent about church ever since I left Redeemer New York. I don't know what I will do. None of us seem to know what we want in life, least of all me.

Even if it isn't repeated, it was a really sweet date with a really nice guy who I would seriously consider dating. He was very respectful. And if it doesn't turn into anything, I'm totally OK with that too. It's all good.


single/certain said...

is redeemer where tim keller preaches? in NYC? my old roomate and her husband go there!!! when were you there?

SavvyD said...

It's a huge church like a small town, but I was there from 03-05 before coming back to LA

single/certain said...

yeah, my old roommate was here during most of that time, i think. but... shot in the dark.... did you ever know lisa berman or ray zakhari?