Everyone is talking about sex. When did you last do it? Who did you do it with? How often do you get it? But what if you don't want to talk about sex with someone? Don't you have that right? Some people don't think so and I ran into just such a person last night. Why don't people get the hint when you walk away??
A large group of us were at the beach for a BBQ and bonfire. Becky Sue was having a conversation with a guy. I hadn't seen much of her in the past few weeks because she had an out-of-town guest staying with her. I approached, and learned it was about sex.
BigBob: See, guys don't think that way. You can be talking all you want but guys are only thinking about one thing.
BeckySu: Oh, really? And what's that?
BigBob: It just sounds like blah, blah, blah. See, men can't even hear you until they have sex with you. Steve, come on over. Let's get his opinion...
Steve: Oh, yeah, that's totally true. We just have needs.
BigBob: It's just a need. Men need it.
Savvy: And that's why it's important to wait to get to know someone first. Other wise how do you know they aren't just going to get their need met and then move on?
Steve: Well, that's just the way things are. That's the risk you take.
At that point, I walked away. If Becky really wanted to talk to these guys, she could go right ahead. Later around the bonfire, I ran into Steve again. I finished my water as we talked.
Steve: were you really offended by what we were saying?
Savvy: Yes, actually, I was. This would have been a great time for him to apologise.
Steve: Well, why were you offended? Sex is a natural thing.
Savvy: To me it's something sacred and special and I don't want to talk about it that way.
Steve: Women's liberation changed everything. The rules are all different. Maybe if you're looking for a monogamous relationship, but I'm not. You're going to have to find someone either older who appreciates that or find some guys who isn't very masculine and has been downtrodden by women.
Savvy: Excuse me, I need to throw this bottle in the recycling.
I walked away yet again. I don't need his bad advice. Did he get the message? Not a chance.
Steve: I think it's rude that you walked away from me twice as we were talking.
Savvy: I didn't like our conversation. It made me uncomfortable and I decided to end it.
Steve: But you shouldn't have been so rude about it.
Savvy: If a conversation makes me uncomfortable, it's my prerogative to end it, so I excused myself to go do something.
Steve: Yeah, but then where's the learning curve for you?
Savvy: Look, if I don't want to talk about that with you, then I don't think I have anything to learn by having an argument that I've heard before.
Steve: It's not fair to put words in my mouth. You should at least hear me out without being rude and walking away. People say things that bother me all the time, you should laugh it off like I do. You're making a bigger deal out of sex than you should.
That's funny, I didn't see him laughing this off.
Savvy: I'm sorry if you thought I was rude, but it's my prerogative to end a conversation if it makes me uncomfortable. At this point, I'm going to have to excuse myself again. I don't feel it's fair to keep me in a conversation that makes me uncomfortable. There are other people we might enjoy talking to more and other things we might enjoy doing more.
Steve: At least that's not so abrupt and rude as before.
Savvy: Please excuse me.
I walked away for the last time to play light frisbee in the dark. Don't people get that not everyone wants to talk about everything with everybody? Don't people have any manners anymore?