I have discovered the Backwards Ask for a date. Often I have found myself in a position where I want to do something and I have an extra ticket, or sometimes I really want to do something and I'm not dating anyone. What's a girl to do? I start talking about wanting to do these things in a crowd and twice I've been surprised when a guy piped up with, I would do that with you. That is the Backwards Ask.
It's a way of a guy finding out what you like. He might want to get to know you and doesn't really know how, but when the opportunity presents itself, he snaps it up.
One time I was talking about a restaurant I had not particularly enjoyed but wanted to give a second chance to. I enjoyed the novelty of going for the Prix fixe dinner where they serve a 3-course meal at a set price. The desert was a chocolate souffle.
I would do that with you. Chimed in a quiet voice with a smile. It was a shy guy who I had been talking to on and off throughout the evening. I answered, Really? OK. We did end up going out, not to that restaurant, but several other dates. It was his in to find out if I would go out with him. It didn't end well since that quiet voice belonged to Bass.
Another time it happened recently. I was talking about wanting to go see a band I really liked and imagined that it would be alot of fun to get people together. He had heard of the band and liked them too.
Swing: I would do that with you.
Savvy: Really? OK. We can get some people together so we don't have to go alone.
Swing: Oh, we wouldn't want that would we?
Savvy: Oh! I guess we could go just us if you want.
Oops! I almost missed it.
Why do they do it? Because it's easy. Guys need an in. They want to know what will make you happy, why not do something that you really want to do? They get to be a gentleman and feel like they are important to you because they think you didn't really want to go alone. And because it's something they thought they might like to do, too. Listen for this. He's asking you out. Maybe it's not as bold as you might think you want, but he's still saying he wants to spend time with you. That's a date--even if it came from a backwards ask.