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Friday, July 4, 2008

He's Just Not That Into You

I'm taking a break from dating this month and I decided to finally read this book. At first I thought what you thought. How can this book be any good? But quite frankly, it's not just good, it's great. It's very funny and insightful. It made me feel better about alot of things that have happened lately. First of all, it's not you or me. IT'S HIM!!! I told a girl today that no boyfriend is better than a boyfriend who is confused. They just don't treat you right.

The thing is, that the author affirms that you really are a fabulous superfox. How is he not into you? Let me count the ways. Let me count the ways so that I never have to again. Instead of thinking that you did something wrong or obsessing about why a guy isn't into you enough, it's better to move on to someone who is into you. If the guy is truly into you he will put in the effort to try to make sure the relationship works. He will want to communicate with you. He will care what you think. He will want to make you happy. Or that's the theory. Seriously, my dad loves my mom and he wouldn't want to be with anyone else. He's just really crappy about showing it. Has been ever since I was a kid. There are some guys out there who are just not very capable of a relationship. I had a donut tire put on my car after getting a flat and the guy didn't even say much at all. He just got to work. I felt less than human--but that says more about him than anyone in the guy's path.

At the end of each chapter they have Our Super-Good Really Helpful Workbook where they have you think and laugh about things At the end of one chapter they say to list all the things you have ever wanted in a man. We'll give you five lines. Then they ask you to look at your list. Did married or emotionally unavailable make that list? Yeah, we didn't think so. You're far too classy and smart for that. The other part that really hit home was: "He may think he really loves you, and maybe he does. But he's really bad at it. And it's exactly the same result as if he was just no that into you."

The author doesn't excuse men or women. But some things go down more easily when you also laugh about it. Each chapter has a response from Liz Trucillo to give a feminine perspective. The other bonus is a summary, Things You Should Have Learned in This Chapter.

Quite frankly, though, if women were really strong and decided not to put up with any crap, started making guys wait to sleep with them, respected themselves enough only to accept the best behavior, men might improve. Then they might trade How to Pick Up Girls for How to Be a Decent Manly Man Who Treats Women Like Queens. Personally I think men were more decent when they had to look your parents in the eyes while they were courting you in the drawing room. Maybe it was stuffy and puritanical, but this being single and guys being kind of crappy really stinks too.

You might find yourself getting off the he's just not that into you express because when someone does something bad, you JUST KNOW what it means. A girl at a department store was complaining that her boyfriend of one year didn't give her a Mother's Day card. They aren't his kids, but she is still a mother. After work, he is going to play poker with some guys. Is he insensitive or just not that into her? I just think that if you are really into someone, you want to try to make them happy. Cards, flowers, chocolates and/or lunch really don't cost much. But the thought behind it lets a girl know how a man really feels. I told her to break up with him and find someone who really cares about her.

You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there's something better out there is to first believe that there's something better out there. I'll believe it for you until you're ready.--Greg Behrendt p145


Jane said...

AWWWWW I need that book. I have to pick it up this week! A little blogging research lol

SavvyD said...

I was laughing the whole time. You'll be glad you got it.

Miss Etiquette said...

I actually have this book. I bought it a few years back after hearing about it on a radio show. It's a great book.