Well, maybe it's that some guys focus so much on logic that they forget some of the other niceties in life. I'm not sure how to confess to this, but one of the guys with the really bad table manners is Astro. I think he might be a nice guy, but I don't know how to talk to him about things that are really important to me.
It turns out that one of the biggest pet peeves I have ever had is seriously violated every time I am with him. OK, not every time. When I met Astro, I didn't notice any problems. Then on our first date, we had Japanese food at a Teppan steak house, so everything was already cut up for easy eating with chopsticks. On our second date, I didn't notice anything either. But then on the third date after I drove so far to see him sing at church and he started acting up, then I noticed. I dont think it's just that he was acting up. I think he started showing more of who he really is.
When I was looking across at him with grimy fingernails, slurping his spaghetti as he was grilling me about where I thought we were in our relationship,I was thinking that I didn't want to see him again. I didn't want to confront him about table manners or personal grooming habits. Despite that, I reconsidered my stance when he texted me to ask if I wanted him to pick me up when he gave his lecture this Friday.
I arrived early. He gave me a kiss right away and had been waiting for me.
Savvy: So, where do we sit?
Astro: Well, as the speaker, I sit here and I saved you a seat next to me.
Savvy: How sweet!
Astro: So, I was planning on acknowledging you after my lecture and Iwas wondering how I should do that.
Savvy: What do you mean?
Astro: Can I introduce you as my girlfriend?
Savvy: Um...wow. I don't think I'm ready for you to say that. You can say we're dating.
Astro: What do you think? Do you think it's worth a shot?
Savvy: I think we have some things to talk about before we take that step.
I was shocked. Floored. I was thinking I didn't want to see him again and he was asking me to be his girlfriend?????? What?????
His speech was very interesting. I learned that galaxy clusters are like cottage cheese. I also learned that galaxy clusters are more unusually shaped the younger they are. I think that things in the universe would have more interesting names if the nerdy guys would take a break from their telescopes and look at women a little more. At some point Astro was talking about star cluster AB18379387473 or whatever and I asked, Couldn't they have just named it after me?
The whole audience started laughing.
Astro: I suppose they could someday. By the way, this is my special guest D who I am dating.
I was embarrassed. There were a few awwwws, and then he got back to his presentation.
After dinner we went to a restaurant with some people, and that's when I witnessed the really, really bad table manners. I didn't know WHAT to say, but now I am thinking about it.
He wants to go into the military and you have to have decent table manners as an officer. There is alot of time spent schmoozing over golf, drinks and dinner. I know because I am an Army brat. Plus, how could I have him at a meal with my dad who picked at my table manners and English mercilessly until they came out decent enough for public presentation. What would my dad SAY?
I'm used to just cutting my losses and moving on. I don't know how to confront someone. Is he into me enough to listen and try to improve? Will I end up making him feel bad or will he thank me for helping his career? He's been to alot of conventions, met people and had dinner with them. Was he more careful there or did the recruiters drop him from consideration despite his brilliant research? My mom thinks I should say something at least for that reason. I rehearsed what I would say with one of my cousins and she thinks it sounds good. That would also be my opportunity to say that I want to see how things go for a little while longer before I say yes to being his girlfriend. There have been alot of ups and downs over the time we've been dating. I want things to even out and give him a chance to make some changes first. I've already asked him if he lost his napkin twice, he must know something is up. I hate to give an ultimatum, but when I think of a lifetime of meals sitting across from someone, I want to watch decent table manners and washed hands. It's only logical. Astrological.