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Monday, May 26, 2008

My Old Computer

Looks like my old computer is really jealous. I thought I was entering my last post on it, but it seems like there is always some problem when you try switching to another computer. Is it Vista, or is more complicated than that? I tried installing MS Office 2003 on my new computer but I seem to have lost track of my old product key. Crapola!! What's a girl to do? Or for that matter, anyone?

I hate the idea that they have given a trial of the programs on my computer that only lasts 60 days. What's up with that? It used to be that you got the whole she-bang when you got a new computer. Then you would get MS Works instead of Office. Now you get nothing. Just trials! I'm looking for a new job right now, so I really don't have the time to mess around with reinstalling freaking everything. But then again, I can work on my jealous old computer while I download all the stuff I have been using on the new one. Plus I'm changing the speed and pitch on some tracks I might be using for choir.

I hate to disappoint anyone, but the problems I am experiencing have absolutely nothing at all to do with Vista. It's always tricky to switch to a new computer even with jump drives and all of that. Once, a long time ago when I switched to a new computer, I extracted all my files and programs onto it through the printer cable. No such luck these days.

I have to get back to working on something on the new computer.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Clash of the Pet Peeves

Last night was my last date with Astro for alot of good reasons. I always had reservations about him. I was very tactful about my pet peeves, but I can't say the same for him. All of our pet peeves clashed and ended the relationship in the church parking lot.

I woke up with a headache and decided not to go to a blues festival on Saturday. I decided to get together with Astro for dinner and a boat ride with some friends of his that he knows from a science group. I wasn't going to because I hadn't heard from him all week and he invited me the night before. That's a serious pet peeve.

He offered to come pick me up and drop me off though I live pretty far. I really made an effort to be ready on time since I know lateness peeves him. He was early. That peeves me--five minutes means alot to a girl!

He brought flowers, so that made up for it.
Astro: I gave you yellow for the banana car you were driving, red for your hair and purple because it's pretty.
Savvy: Aww! How sweet! Thank you!

There were some lilies. I'm allergic. It peeved me. I supposed I would eventually tell him how much I love roses. The bouquet looked just like the last one he got for me.

He started talking about his fetish for China and Chinese ladies. I was peeved.
Astro: Maybe it's a nerd thing to have an Asian fetish. I've been to China.
Savvy: I have no interest in ever going to China.
Astro: Have you ever dated anyone Asian?
Savvy: No. You?
Astro: Yeah, my last girlfriend was Asian...
Savvy: Oh wait, I take it back, my ex C was half Philippino.
Astro: I don't really want to know...

I was peeved. He mentioned her on every date to include that she said yes to every guy who asked her out and that she didn't come see him sing at church.

He took a route that took longer to get there and I said something about that--which peeved him. Before we went to the party I decided to finally say something about the things that were bothering me.
Savvy: Since we are talking about pet peeves, I thought I would share mine with you. I hope you can appreciate how hard it is for me to say something to you about this, but this has really been bothering me. I usually just bail because I figure people are set in their ways. But I think you're worth saying something to.
Astro: Sure. It's just so sweet that you would tell me.
Savvy: My dad picked at me until my table manners were decent and I thank him for that. I just think that since you are meeting with people over dinner alot and going into the military maybe, that you have to start thinking about it.
Astro: Really? Well, what did I do? Is it that bad?
Savvy: I wouldn't say anything if I didn't care.
Astro: Well, I like to lick my fingers and if you don't like it, too bad.
Savvy: It's just a matter of choosing when.
Astro: You should defintely never go to China, they smack their food and talk with their mouths full.
Savvy: Yeah, seriously. No worries there.
Astro: I thought in the military the idea was to eat as fast as you can because you have a short time.
Savvy: That's the jarheads. You'd be training to be an officer and that's very different. I just think it's worth considering.

At dinner, he picked on me fairly mercilessly for having made a few peanut gallery type comments at his lecture. He was telling me how cute he thought it was just last week. A lady gave me a look and I could tell his teasing was making her feel uncomfortable.

He nuzzled me during the whole boat ride speaking in low tones in my ear.
Astro: Your happiness is impotant to me.
Savvy: That is soooo sweet!

On the inside I felt a chill of reverie back to Bass who had said the same kind of stuff. The boat ride and barbeque were fun, but it started getting late.
Astro: You could stay with me tonight...
Savvy: Oh. I wasn't planning on it. I didn't bring anything.
Astro: Well, you don't have to have anything.
Savvy: Oh, well, I wasn't expecting you would ask me.
Astro: I thought you would get the hint since I was picking you up and dropping you off.
Savvy: Oh! I'm so dumb. I didn't think about that. I didn't get the hint. I'm actually kind of naive about these things.
Astro: Maybe I should have told you.
Savvy: It's just that I have medicine I have to take. So I have to go home.
He was noticeably angry.
Astro: Well, we better go since I have to take you home though I only live 5 minutes from here.
We said goodnight to those who were there. Once in the car I put it together.
Savvy: Usually when a guy asks me to spend the night, he expects us to get right to it.
Astro: Well, I was hoping.
Savvy: Oh my God, I'm so dumb! Wow! I'm seriously not ready for that.
(Not ready to smell goat all night, or find out that he doesn't wash his hands.)

Astro: Well, we don't have to do anything, we can just sleep, or I can sleep on the couch. (I was catching on. I had heard that before.)
Savvy: You said your place was messy, so I want to give you a chance to clean.
Astro: That's only half of the room, the other half is fine.
Savvy: Oh. I really wasn't expecting you to ask me so soon.
Astro: Is it really about timing? I think it's obvious we feel alot for each other.
(What's with this we stuff?)
Savvy: I'm just not ready.
Astro: Well, I have to drive back down here, maybe you can get your stuff and come back with me....what have we got to lose? We aren't getting any younger...
HOW ROMANTIC!! I was seriously peeved.
Savvy: I've only ever slept with one guy and I'd be nervous about it. Can we postpone until next weekend?
Astro: I'm having a guest, but the weekend after. It's just that I think you're really special. I think you're quite a catch and I really want to be with you. I've never asked anyone. I just think your worth making a commitment to.
Savvy: I'm confused about all of that. I've been debating if I want to wait until I get married.
Astro: We can do that if you want to.

He started talking about that same ex girlfriend as we drove by where Bass lives--Bass has haunted me on every date with Astro. I chimed in, We've all been hurt by someone we really liked. He didn't realize how poignant that moment was for me. I was peeved yet again.

I was even more peeved when we almost got hit by an oncoming driver in my neighborhood. He was driving in the middle of the road. People shouldn't park their cars out in the street, then I wouldn't have to drive in the middle of the road. I stayed up late digesting food and digesting all that had happened. I couldn't let go of how angry he seemed that I didn't go for staying over with him. It's not right to be angry with someone if they aren't ready.

The next morning I was fashionably late for church by 30 minutes while he waited for me. He was peeved.

We were sitting in church and he had his arm around me. I knew it looked right from the outside and this guy was everything on paper that I was supposed to be looking for. We were visiting each other's respective churches, right? We sang together. It was supposed to be so great. This was one of those moments I had always hoped for--going to church with someone I'm dating.

Except I could tell he was still peeved. I had to pop my shoulder and started moving it around so he had to move his arm. He breathed deeply and his breath smelled musty. Then the scent of his suit caught my nostrils. Wow!! Just how long had it been since he'd had it dry cleaned? I mean, I was late because I had showered. Cleanliness is next to godliness, right? I was peeved. I'd rather be late and clean than on time and dirty.

The sermon was something about speaking the truth in love, and the true nature of Jesus. Astro turned to me.
Astro: How much longer is this going to be?
Savvy: About 45 minutes longer.
Astro: I don't think I have the patience for this.
Savvy: Oh, this is your second service. I'm sorry. Do you want to go?
Astro: Well, D, speaking the truth in love, this isn't the church for me. The sermon is meaningless and I can't follow the service. You should have been here to explain it to me.
Savvy: Oh, well, he's not the real pastor, he's just a visiting guy. Let's go.

In the parking lot we paused.
Astro: We really need to evaluate if we should move forward.
Savvy: Oh, do you want to have lunch and talk about it?
Astro: I really want to to change.
Savvy: Do you want me to follow you to your place and then we can go from there to the science thing?
Astro: Sure...
Savvy: Are you still angry with me?
Astro: Timeliness is one of my pet peeves.
Savvy: Oh. I'm really sorry. I had a hard time waking up and--
Astro: --Don't make excuses.
He snarled.
Savvy: I guess it's a bad little habit of mine. I'm trying to get back into church, but it's been hard.
Astro: Church is very important to me and I'm not willing to go through this journey with you.
Savvy: Well, I will get back into it.
Astro: I'm not attracted to you enough to put up with it. And you seem to have alot of health problems. I want to date someone who's healthy.
Savvy: Are you serious??
Pause... My shoulder will heal, my ankle will heal, my cough will go away and so will my migraines--for crying out loud I had an accident. These are things that I have to go through. And it's MINOR. If you can't deal with this, then you aren't going to be able to deal with marriage. I'm done talking. I'm going to go back to church.

I stormed off without looking back. I may have flipped my hair. I left him in the parking lot and went back for communion. A little girl asked me where the big guy went. I said, I didn't want to play with him anymore. He wasn't very nice.

Honestly, the pastor thought it was funny and actually, so do I. Who breaks up with someone in the church parking lot between the sermon and communion? Me!

And I'm happy. Now I don't have to tell him that I'm allergic to lilies, he smells, he's the rebound guy or that guys who say that church is so important to them shouldn't pressure girls to spend the night with them. I won't be crying over this one. Breaking up is a great way to unpeeve yourself. Next time, though, I'm just going to bail. Pet peeve is a synonym for deal breaker.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Biblical Ways of Knowing She’s the ONE

A quick survey of Biblical women should certainly give us great wisdom for identifying a future spouse. (Or maybe not.)

In our modern culture we seem to really struggle with knowing who “the One” is. There is something to that strong rush of hormones, or that special sign from God that really helps guys know “Yep, she’s the one!” In Christian circles we want some sort of sign or symbol from God, so it makes sense that we have made the Bible our textbook for life and love. Books have been written to encourage courting over dating, watching and waiting for signs and answers to prayer before making a move. Here are just a few love stories from biblical times to enlighten us and help us find the way. A few of these would make any guy rejoice over his babe.

She won a beauty contest.
She threw herself at my feet.
She was a neighbor.
She was totally hot.
She was revealed to me in a dream.
She was part of a package deal.
She was my partner in crime.
She was created for me by God.
She gave my servant’s camels water.
She saved my life.
She was my brother’s widow.
She was…

She won a beauty contest.
Everyone agrees that this would be a sweet deal. Hello, Miss America! She’s the ONE! Queen Esther changed her name and hid her Jewish heritage to win a local beauty contest, but beyond that minor deception, she was courageous and saved her people from certain destruction. Besides, if being the wife of a king were the prize in a beauty contest, you would do the same!

She threw herself at my feet.
OK, that’s not exactly how it happened, but what guy hasn’t thought, It would be great if a girl made the first move. Then I would know. Ruth was a widow who worked in Boaz’s fields gleaning with her widowed mother-in-law, Naomi. (That means she got whatever was left over after the paid workers had harvested.) She did lie down at his feet where he was sleeping. But it wasn’t her idea, it was Naomi’s. Boaz was the nearest relative who was eligible to marry her. Then they did some ceremony where he took off his shoe and she became his wife. Weird!
How this simple ceremony gave way to Bridezilla and multimillion dollar weddings, I’ll never know.

She was my brother’s widow.
It was the law that if a widow had no sons, she would marry the next brother-in-law or go back to her family. In the book of Ruth, Naomi made reference to this when Ruth begged to stay with Naomi instead of going back to her family. Naomi said, I have no sons for you to marry. This isn't always a bad deal if the widow is hot and you can have more than one wife, eh? But if you didn’t please the Lord by producing offspring, it would cost you your life. On the positive side, there is no guesswork involved. Your brother dies and bam you’re married—maybe to several wives. The movie title for this chapter? Four Weddings and A Funeral.

She was a neighbor.
Not only was she conveniently next door, Bathsheba was also married to King David’s best friend. Just a quick look over the wall where she was bathing led to a lustful rendezvous, pregnancy and killing his best friend in battle to cover it up. Then he married her and added her to all the other wives. It was just a bad idea. But God redeemed the act, and made this story part of the geneology of Jesus.

She was totally hot.
That’s a great way of knowing. It’s all about chemistry! Thunder, lightening, stars in the eyes, seeing her across the way... They result in one wish, Get her for me NOW.The problem: Delilah was not loyal to the same people. At the suggestion of the Philistine rulers, she cut Samson’s hair, the source of his great strength. They gouged out his eyes and paid her off with silver. His last days were spent as a prisoner until he prayed to the Lord for strength and tore down their temple. He died with the Philistines.

The lesson? Make sure your woman is on your side!

She was my partner in crime.
Everyone is looking for someone who was made for them. In this case, the Biblical duo of Anninias and Saphira did everything together, including lie about tithing (giving to God) all they earned. Truly a match, they were both struck dead for their lie within minutes of each other. It’s the Bible times Bonnie and Clyde! OK, maybe being on the same side isn’t the key either.

She was created for me by God.
At first Adam was grateful. Next thing you know, he blamed her for everything that went wrong and she, having learned that lesson, blamed the serpent.

She was part of a package deal.
Imagine falling in love with a beautiful girl, Rachel…you work for her for 7 years to earn her hand. Next thing you know, the father decides you have to marry the older sister, Leah, first. After all, the older sister should be married first, right? He gives you the daughter you love, after another week. He was just kidding! But you have to work another 7 years. It’s the Bible Bait and Switch! Good thing people lived a really, really long time back then! What's seven years when you live to 900?

She was revealed to me after much prayer.
This is every guy’s dream in the “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” set. The “one” revealed after hours of sweet communion with Jesus. It’s magic.
Everyone loves the sweet story about Abraham’s servant being sent to find a suitable Jewish mate for Isaac. He prayed and sought a sign. A girl by the well was supposed to offer a stranger drink for himself and his camels. Lucky girl, she got a gold bracelet right away. When she went home with the servant, she and Isaac fell in love at first sight and she gained even more riches. I’m sure she loved his pocketbook, too.

The bad news? This beautiful girl was also the author of the biggest Bible times bait and switch ever pulled. She connived against Esau and secured an awesome blessing for her other son Jacob by sending Jacob to serve a meal to his blind father. To make Jacob seem as hairy as Esau, she told him to wear a sheep’s skin. From sweet, Godly girl to deceptive wife.

She saved my life.
Rahab was knowledgeable in the ways of the flesh, she was called a harlot or prostitute. This may be your type if the others didn’t suit you. She hid two Isrealite spies came and stayed with her. She secured a promise from them to save her family should the Israelites destroy everyone. She was smart! She found her way to the geneology of Jesus through her marriage to Salmon, reputed to be one of the spies. Her son? Boaz (who marries Ruth.)

That’s a great story, but I couldn’t find one whit of evidence that Salmon was one of the spies, though Herbert Lockyer makes reference to it in his book, All the Women of the Bible. It could be one of those things that just became popular to think like Mary Magdalene being a prostitute. (Look it up if you don't believe me.) In any case, saving the spies did lead to her marriage to Salmon and served as the earliest inspiration on record for Pretty Woman.

God spoke to me directly.
This is what everyone wishes for. If God would just give me a sign or speak to me directly, then I would know… Sigh! And I would just do exactly what God says to do.

Well this next little rose would have made a lesser man wish he weren’t a prophet. God spoke to Hosea and told him to take an adulterous wife because Israel had been unfaithful to their God. He married Gomer. There’s a debate as to whether or not the children they produced were really his, but God told Hosea what to name them. She wandered off, became a slave to another man and God still commanded him to go get her. When God speaks, are you sure you want to listen? Bonus points for the really great romantic name of the girl in this story. (haha, NOT!)

She was my niece.
Yeah, how’s that for weird? Not only that, it was Herodias' second husband. Herod stole his brother’s wife. His brother’s wife was actually his brother’s neice. Ew! We know that Salome is the daughter of Herodias, but the father is not named. She did a dance which "pleased" Herod. He decided to give her anything she asks for. Salome, runs out to ask Herodias what to ask for.

The gift? The head of John the Baptist on a platter in revenge for his declaration that Herodias and Herod should not be married. The only thing weirder? In ancient Egypt, kings and queens were brother and sister sometimes. The practice was also common in Hawaii. Holy inbreeding, Batman!

Great. It seems like there isn’t always logic to how people got together in the Bible. Chemistry doesn’t always seem to be a good thing, since it could get you killed. People changed, people were not always a match, some "lucky" guys got to be with more than one wife. Sometimes there was very little choice involved in marriage. Sometimes great people did really deceptive things. People that were a match got each other killed. Sweet love at first sight ordained by God found its way down the primrose path to the Bible Bait and Switch.

It seems we are expecting some kind of magic, and when it doesn’t happen we are disappointed. Just think about all the people that got together without drama during Bible times. They weren’t written about!! They also weren’t likely to be written about if they weren’t part of the geneology of Jesus. I’m sure there were plenty of them, too. God clearly wasn’t always about picking the best or most Godly person to accomplish his will. There are repentant prostitutes, murderers and adulterers in the geneology of Jesus.

I’m not saying that you should run out and date a prostitute, murderer or adulterer, but don’t wait for the perfect person when there are really great people around you. I’ll let you decide if I’m blaspheming when I say that they are possibly better examples of Godliness in your life than the people we have read about in the Bible. Don’t depend on just one model for how you meet your future spouse. Don’t wait for a sign, just go for it and ask someone out.

The good news from our merry (marry) romp through the Bible is that there is truly more than one way to win a wife. When you drop you perfectionistic dating ideology, you may find yourself actually dating someone.

Of course, if you prefer the more authoritative Christianity Today article, here it is:

Top 5 Myths about Christian Dating

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Side Effects of Blogging

There are some hidden side effects to blogging. One of them is that sometimes important things fall to the wayside--cleaning is one of them. Exercise is another--though I do have alot of injuries now. I could totally relate when I got a message from exchurchmouse saying she was going on a technology break. I did that last night. I decided to get some cleaning done.

My hanging shoe organizer broke, so I bought a new shoe organizer and put it together, vacuumed out my closet and organized my shoes. I also decided to buy a down free blanket because I am tired of little feathers coming from everywhere. Sometimes in the morning I sneeze and a little feather floats in the air. Wow!

All of this was way more work than I realized it would be. I've been waiting a long time to get organized, so it was about time, but I don't wonder why I have been avoiding this by blogging. I have so much stuff I haven't worn and might never wear again. I don't WANT to sort through it all because it'sboring, but I do want to get organized and get rid of things that I don't need.

Now that the writers strike it over I have been watching TV while I clean. It might also help burn some calories. I have to start logging into slim.com again and keeping trck of what I eat. I haven't gained weight lately, but I think all the sitting around caused by my attention to blogging has done things. Muscle mass decreases with a sedentary life. I need to get home so I can watch Ugly Betty and clean up some more. Of course, that will be with an ice pack on my injured shoulder.


Saturday--I decided to stay in from a blues festival and clean. I am giving stuff away while there is no one home to see it leave. If I moved stuff into my car with my mom here, she might try to stop me. Ihate saving things for the day you might need them. Sometimes it's time to just let things go. I have some boxes togo through that I haven't touched in years. And yes, I'm keeping an ice pack on my shoulder the whole time.

Monday, May 12, 2008

The Annoying Secret Habits of Men

It seems that for every man, there is an annoying secret habit that accompanies him. I swear I'm telling the truth!! It's just a matter of time before a girl discovers it. For example, my ex-fiance used to chew on his toenails!!

Strange and disgusting, but totally true! He's the only man I have dated who did this, but he did it. Unfortunately, his disgustingly annoying secret habits didn't end there. He only brushed his teeth once a day. Sometimes I wouldn't kiss him until he had brushed his teeth. He didn't see what the big deal was. I sure did. Gross!!

I have dated a few men who collected comic books and lied about it. I don't know which is worse, the collecting comic books or the lying about it. One of my college boyfriends refused to tell me where he had been all afternoon until I dug it out of him. He went downtown to a comic book store. And there I was thinking he had been doing something wrong or bad. Why wouldn't he want to tell me? Our conversation could have gone like this:
D-Hey, so what'd you do with yourself today?
J-I went shopping downtown.
D-Really? What were you shopping for?
J-Books and stuff.
D-Find anything good?
J-Yeah, a few.
D-What did you get?
D-Cool. Which ones do you read?

Then a few years later I was the one collecting comic books, so it wasn't any great sin in my book. I got really into Anime. I grew up watching Speed Racer and then went on to collect Bubblegum Crisis, Ranma 1/2 and got into Sandman. The especially embarrassing one was Dirty Pair which I loved the most.

A lady was telling me last night about a boyfriend she had who always wanted Wednesday night to himself. Well, his secret habit was a little bit more than annoying. Wednesday night was reserved for having phone sex with a girl he had known since grad school. She said he also had alot of single male habits that he engaged in frequently. I'm not sure I wanted to know that much. I'll take the dirty fingernails.

Hmmm...do all people have annoying habits? I suppose they do. I don't like to do dishes. I'll leave dishes in the the sink for days because I grew up in a house with spiders not roaches. When I lived in New York and South Carolina I was on top of the dishes because there were roaches to spare.

Are you dating, married to or breaking up with someone who has an annoying habit? Share your story.

My New Laptop

Getting a new computer is both a happy and a sad occasion. This will most likely be my last post on my old computer. In case you didn't know what it was (most of you don't) it was a very cute Averatec with a 12.1 inch screen. I'm very in love with very small laptops. Not only are they cute and light, but anything larger than a 14 inch screen and you really ought to get a desktop. I have small hands, so I like the small keyboard. I like to be able to take my laptop to a coffee shop so that I don't feel like I am holed up all alone. I like to blog, but I also like to be social.

The other reason for getting a new computer is that I killed my battery. I was trying to refresh it so it would hold a charge for longer and killed it completely in the process. I looked into buying a new battery and I was going to cost $100 as a special order since this computer is/was actually pretty rare. I'm going to be more careful with the battery from now on. Why spend 1/8 of the price of a new laptop on an old one that is working too slowly?

My new computer, an HP Pavilion tx2110us 12.1" Touchscreen Entertainment Laptop, has alot going for it. It has a built in webcam, microphone, it doubles as a tablet, the touch screen technology is so much fun for playing solitaire! I can't wait to explore more of what the touch screen technology can do. The down side is that it looks like I will have to break in the keyboard. It's a little bit different than what I have now.

It runs alot faster than what I am typing on now. I got tired of it taking forever for me to get to my blog or check my email. I tried everything to save it. Defragmenting my hard drive, searching and destroying bots and spyware all did nothing. It was time to move on, no matter how hard it was/is. The next time you see a small handed woman on a little laptop typing away like crazy, start wondering if it's me. The things I write ring true for many people.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Astrologically Bad Manners

Well, maybe it's that some guys focus so much on logic that they forget some of the other niceties in life. I'm not sure how to confess to this, but one of the guys with the really bad table manners is Astro. I think he might be a nice guy, but I don't know how to talk to him about things that are really important to me.

It turns out that one of the biggest pet peeves I have ever had is seriously violated every time I am with him. OK, not every time. When I met Astro, I didn't notice any problems. Then on our first date, we had Japanese food at a Teppan steak house, so everything was already cut up for easy eating with chopsticks. On our second date, I didn't notice anything either. But then on the third date after I drove so far to see him sing at church and he started acting up, then I noticed. I dont think it's just that he was acting up. I think he started showing more of who he really is.

When I was looking across at him with grimy fingernails, slurping his spaghetti as he was grilling me about where I thought we were in our relationship,I was thinking that I didn't want to see him again. I didn't want to confront him about table manners or personal grooming habits. Despite that, I reconsidered my stance when he texted me to ask if I wanted him to pick me up when he gave his lecture this Friday.

I arrived early. He gave me a kiss right away and had been waiting for me.
Savvy: So, where do we sit?
Astro: Well, as the speaker, I sit here and I saved you a seat next to me.
Savvy: How sweet!
Astro: So, I was planning on acknowledging you after my lecture and Iwas wondering how I should do that.
Savvy: What do you mean?
Astro: Can I introduce you as my girlfriend?
Savvy: Um...wow. I don't think I'm ready for you to say that. You can say we're dating.
Astro: What do you think? Do you think it's worth a shot?
Savvy: I think we have some things to talk about before we take that step.

I was shocked. Floored. I was thinking I didn't want to see him again and he was asking me to be his girlfriend?????? What?????

His speech was very interesting. I learned that galaxy clusters are like cottage cheese. I also learned that galaxy clusters are more unusually shaped the younger they are. I think that things in the universe would have more interesting names if the nerdy guys would take a break from their telescopes and look at women a little more. At some point Astro was talking about star cluster AB18379387473 or whatever and I asked, Couldn't they have just named it after me?
The whole audience started laughing.
Astro: I suppose they could someday. By the way, this is my special guest D who I am dating.
I was embarrassed. There were a few awwwws, and then he got back to his presentation.

After dinner we went to a restaurant with some people, and that's when I witnessed the really, really bad table manners. I didn't know WHAT to say, but now I am thinking about it.

He wants to go into the military and you have to have decent table manners as an officer. There is alot of time spent schmoozing over golf, drinks and dinner. I know because I am an Army brat. Plus, how could I have him at a meal with my dad who picked at my table manners and English mercilessly until they came out decent enough for public presentation. What would my dad SAY?

I'm used to just cutting my losses and moving on. I don't know how to confront someone. Is he into me enough to listen and try to improve? Will I end up making him feel bad or will he thank me for helping his career? He's been to alot of conventions, met people and had dinner with them. Was he more careful there or did the recruiters drop him from consideration despite his brilliant research? My mom thinks I should say something at least for that reason. I rehearsed what I would say with one of my cousins and she thinks it sounds good. That would also be my opportunity to say that I want to see how things go for a little while longer before I say yes to being his girlfriend. There have been alot of ups and downs over the time we've been dating. I want things to even out and give him a chance to make some changes first. I've already asked him if he lost his napkin twice, he must know something is up. I hate to give an ultimatum, but when I think of a lifetime of meals sitting across from someone, I want to watch decent table manners and washed hands. It's only logical. Astrological.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Astroriffic! (Or not.)

Quite frankly, I don't think Astro is into me enough. This whole dating-someone-on-the-rebound-while-heartbroken-over-Bass thing only works if the rebound guy is working to win me over. And trust me, I do want to be won over!

We were off to a good start on our first date. Really we were. Flowers only helped his case. And telling me that he picked yellow because I'm happy was a nice touch. I did pick a yellow car while mine was in the shop. A guy who likes having me sit on his lap and is big enough to wrap his arms around me twice is priceless.

There was a LIST of things I came up with that I didn't like after Sunday's uncomfortable lunch--just read Do Men Marry Their Mothers? Maybe he's afraid. Maybe he has issues. But ultimately, he doesn't treat me in a way that speaks to me. He doesn't call me very much. He's not very affectionate--probably the least affectionate guy I've dated.

Right now I'd like a hot makeout session with a side of affection and lots of good manners melting over the top. Sure, his cake is made of stuff that I like--he's a Christian with rock solid faith, we both sing, he hasn't been pushy about sex. But the icing tastes funny and that ruins the cake. He wants me to see his lecture this Friday, but I don't see how this is really going to change anything. Does he want ME or just an adoring audient? Do I go anyway as an experiment for my blog or do I say, I'm going to give my pretty to a guy who knows how to treat it right?

He texted me today...I was surprised since I had ignored his Good Morning text on Monday morning.
Astro: Hi D, what's up? I can pick u up for the talk on Friday if u want.
Savvy: We'll have 2 discuss the options.
Astro: I teach till 5 and then it takes about 1 hour to get to you.
Savvy: Take my secret way, it saves time. I didn't think you wanted me to go.
Astro: Oh, just me and my cold feet... I supremely enjoy being with u...
Savvy: Funny that. The temp in my feet dropped.

No response.
Savvy: I will try wearing socks. But let's c if we can set the temp to fun.
Astro: Word up! LOL

I imagined myself cutting him loose, but now I see how hard it can be. Maybe I can work it out so that we can be friends. It's not like he kisses me enough for me to continue to think of him as much more than that. He's never so much as kissed me with an open mouth, so I've been thinking he's just not that into me.


Astroriffic (interjection) : What space geeks say instead of teriffic or fantastic Astrorific!!I found a new planet!!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Do Men Marry Their Mothers??

For some reason, Astro took a serious turn in our conversation. It makes me wonder exactly what he meant when he said, It's true. Men really do marry their mothers. My mom is 5'3". I'm 5'2". Does he really think I'm the ONE??

Why do men start talking seriously so soon? Maybe not all of them, but it seems like they do. They all at least give lip service to marriage.

Bass always talked about getting married. I have a house, but I haven't really fixed it up. I'm going to leave that to her, she might like that. He took great pride in showing me around. He even told other people this same thing, not just me. I thought it really meant something at the time when he said Good you can finally spend time with me over spring break since our schedule finally match up. And you're a teacher, so we can spend all summer together. We can go to the beach and go swimming at my pool. I wasn't sure I could say yes to everything, but I thought we could take it one day at a time and see how things went. People thought I had nothing to worry about since he was texting me and calling me so much. He really ought to at least have the stains on the carpet steam cleaned since his actual timeline for getting married is in about 10 years. That will put him at 47.

C started talking about having children and being at odds with really having fallen for a woman who had already had the children she wanted and had her tubes tied. Now he's dating a woman with a 16-year-old daughter. Quite frankly, I don't think it will work out between them either. But maybe she will do things that I wasn't willing to. Who knows, maybe it's already over.

And now Astro...I feel peaceful about my involvement with him. we've had some fun together, he hasn't pushed me at all to be physical with him, he goes to church. But he leaves me alone alot. He is searching for a job and doesn't seem to be truly certain where he will end up. I get the feeling he wasn't really expecting to meet someone in this time. He said, If you play your cards right, I'll take you with me. I don't know what I will do.

Sunday, I went to see Astro sing at his church. He looked really happy to see me. His whole face and demeaner visibly brightened. He had to leave to get his cell phone and then tutor someone in physics, so I offered to meet up with him for lunch after. If you aren't going to be here, I'm going to go to the church I used to go to because I haven't been in a really long time. And, you'll be proud of me, I really did go!

On the way to the restaurant, I reached for his hand.
Astro: Oh. Is that a hint? I guess so. I wasn't thinking anything of it. He had hugged and kissed me chastely after church. Holding hands shouldn't be a big deal.

As we walked toward the restaurant, I reached for his arm because it was a pretty far walk--especially when you have sprained your ankle AGAIN and are wearing the boot AGAIN.
Astro: Do you have to grab at me like that.
I wasn't sure I heard him right.
SavvyD: Huh? What do you mean?
Astro: Nothing. It's just that...
SavvyD: Do you not like holding hands? Do you not like being touched?
I dropped his arm.
Astro: It's not that, it's just that I just don't know what you want.
SavvyD: What are you talking about?
I walked ahead of him..
Astro: Nothing nothing. I'm sorry. His hands were on my shoulders. What was going on?

Astro: I just want to make sure we're on the same page.
SavvyD: Well, we don't have a commitment. We aren't exclusive. We're just dating and getting to know each other.
Astro: Well, it's just that you were talking about being my wife to the OnStar person on the first date. I mean, I do want to find someone I can share the rest of my life with and everything.
SavvyD: If I were only interested in getting married, I would have done that by now.
I was engaged once, after all. I didn't tell him that, though.
Astro: I just wanted to be sure.

It was a silly show for an OnStar person. I stated flatly:
SavvyD: I said that stuff because I really didn't care. I didn't care what you thought of me. I was just having fun.
Astro: Well, how are we supposed to get to know each other if we're always being facetious with each other?
SavvyD: I was just funnin.

So, he was being facetious? That's good because I don't really even know him well enough to consider going with him to the middle of freaking nowhere so he can have an aerospace career. Suddenly, sitting across from him was seriously no fun. The peace I felt a few days ago fled. It was intense and uncomfortable. Wow. So, Astro Boy thinks I'm trying to trap him!

Suddenly I began to notice all the things about Astro that I didn't like.
-He's really uptight.
-He's not very affectionate.
-He doesn't call or text me very much. He didn't email when he said he would.
-He started complaining about money when he paid, so I offered to pay.
-He doesn't know where work will take him.
-He's already teased me about being late. I know I run on Latin Standard Time.
-His truck smells kind of funny, like goat or something.
-He might smell like goat.
-He was dismissive toward the waitstaff when we had a really nice waiter.
-He was slightly rude to me. When he got into my car he said, Move your purse. He didn't give me a chance first and he didn't say please.
-His tie was ripped.
-He slurps his food. There is a polite way to eat spaghetti.
-His nails were caked with dirt for no real reason. He an astropysicist, not an automechanic. I certainly didn't try holding his hand again. Gross!

Hmm. I "forgot" to thank him for lunch or a good time since it wasn't a good time. I also didn't answer his Good Morning text today.

The only way this was going to work is if he kept treating me well and trying to win me over. He brought me flowers on the first date. While that was a nice start, it had to be followed up with good manners.

I had the good manners not to tell him that my heart is still broken over Bass. I also didn't tell him that it was the seccond time we had crossed paths with that fateful beach bike ride. Only this time it was the other side of it. I just said cheerfully, How come you always take me to the beach?

Maybe I should forget my good manners and tell the truth:
I was trying to forget someone and it didn't work. I'm sorry. Haven't you wanted to forget someone, too?

Bad idea. How about...
You have alot of great qualities, but now isn't a good time for either of us in terms of our careers.

Looks like he will have to find another mother.