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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The Reverse Stalking of Bass

Love is giving people space? Reverse stalking is when you want to know where someone is so that you can maximize your chances of NOT running into them. That's how it is with Bass right now. I went to his band's website and marked all the dates in my calendar he will be out of town for a gig. I'm in the clear alot this month, I won't be so lucky again until August. I just have to figure out how to get through May, June and July--Time that we were supposed to spend together.

Bass wasn't with us shooting pool last night. He's actually in town right now. I should know, right? I'm kind of relieved, but kind of sad because I don't hear from him anymore. Fun dates, hot makeout sessions, phone calls that left me laughing, 400 text messages that had me in stitches and now I'm avoiding him. Yes, he brought a date to karaoke. So did I. We never talked about being exclusive, but that was still mean. It hurts to be cut out of someone's life. It hurts to cut someone out. It hurts to look for when someone who was so special to you will be in or out of town so you know when you can relax socially.

I admit he really got under my skin in ways that most guys didn't. Sometimes I watch YouTube videos of the band just so I can see him. And then I get over it a little because he's not like that in person really. Sure, he was like that with me, but that only lasted a month. He inspired me. I want to sing again. He shared my pain. We iced our shoulders together, though mine doesn't hurt as much anymore. He makes me jealous. I wish I had his career. I teach music, so in that sense I am a professional musician, but he just sings and plays his bass. I'm so inspired I think I should contact that chick from Montreal he brought to karaoke--she plays trombone, maybe we can start a band that can perform with Bass's band! Of course, I have to be the lead singer...

He dumped me for some pretty chick from Montreal who plays trombone. Crap.

I hate him right now. Sort of. Not really. Best to stay out of his way. Best to reverse stalk. Maybe he's reverse stalking me too. Maybe he found out I would be there shooting pool and he decided not to show up.

Maybe he was concerned people he would be embarrassed after last Monday's progressive dinner where I got royally plastered. I didn't really have to worry about anyone being upset with me about it. Most people were just glad I was OK and wanted to know how I got home. They were glad to see me acting normal again.
Al: So, next time you'll read the warning labels on your medications, huh?
Sav: Oh, yeah, definitely.

I deserved to get teased at least a little.

With Bass out of the picture, other things could happen. Though, one guy did ask me about him.
Rol: Hey, where that tall guy who likes the older women?
Sav: I don't know. I'm done with him.

We both laughed. He has a reputation for talking to older women. I guess he doesn't find them intimidating.

Some guy named Don who is a high end hair stylist blanched when I told him my beauty secret. Supercuts. I laughed hysterically.
Bil: You laugh like Kate Winslet.
Sav: Really?
Bil: Yes. Really.
Sav: When I was living in New York, my beauty secret was the Dominican lady who ran a salon in my neighborhood and would cut my hair for $12!!
Don: I guess I shouldn't give you my card.
Sav: Why?
Don: I'm reallly expensive.
Sav: Oh, unless you made it a part of our date.
Don: Sure. I'll do your hair, put some Manolos on your feet and buy you a Gucci handbag.
Sav: Sure, why not?
Don: Manolos would look really good on your feet.
Sav: Thanks but they're kind of high for me.
Don: Oh, and then we'd take a helicopter ride an art museum.
Sav: Sure, I'm all for it.

We ended our flirtation when he said some rather forward things.
Sav: I think you're too naughty for me.
Don: That's what my exgirlfriend used to say. Just cause I like to experiement...

Shoot. Well, glad I ended it there. We did have a fun time flirting up until then. He even saved me a potato skin when they came. I would have gone out with him. Why do people open their big mouths with things that are better left unsaid??

Some of you remember Bill who ended up consoling me the night of the progressive dinner. He's also Bachelor #3 from No Date Required. It worked out for him to constantly ask me to be on his team for pool since I sank the last shots that won the final game. I told you guys I used to be a little pool shark when I was 14! I did a victory dance. Bill gave me a high five and a hug. Throughout the evening I told Bill all about Bass. If I had realized all that had gone on, I would have clocked him one right then and there. Next time I see him, we're gonna have WORDS. Shoot. I don't know if I really want Bill to do that. Part of me does want Bass to pay up a little, but part of me wants to declare an official end to all of the drama.

I ran into Bill outside. He walked me to my car and said, Forget Bass. He's a jerk. You deserve to be with someone who will treat you well. He went to hug me and the next thing I knew he was French kissing me. I was stunned. No date, just the tongue...
Sav: That's not friends. I didn't know you liked me like that.
Bil: Well, let's see, you're gorgeous. You're alot of fun and we have a great time together. How did you miss that?
Sav: I was busy, I guess, dating Bass.
Bil: Don;t remind me. Isn't it amazing how out of all the women at the Valentine;s Party, that palm ready pulled you aside and said I have what you need and you have what I need.
Sav: Yes. Amazing...

The thing is, I didn't like kissing him like that. Bass waited until we were halfway through our first date. Oh wait, I prompted him. I was sitting on his lap and his arms were around me.
Bass: We've got the music, we've got each other, what more could you want?
Savvy: A kiss?

It was sweet and tender. It has to be the most romantic first kiss I have ever had. It was the third date before we were french kissing. It was so long since I had done that. High school. I liked it, it made the french kiss really hot.

I'm so confused. Bass teased me about kissing all the boys. That guy in the kilt when I was in San Fran and now Bill...

Bill called me as I was driving home to see how my traffic was. Flimsy. I missed the call because my ringer was off. I didn't call him back. I can't deal right now.

Now I'm reexamining Bill's motives for telling me that Bass was a player. Maybe Bill doesn't REALLY know what's going on. Maybe those were just carpool rides. I couldn't reason through it all when I was drunk. When I told my friend Mike, he said, I'm really not liking this Bill guy right now. It sounds like he's trying to take advantage of the situation so he can get in your pants. He's trying to get in when you are vulnerable.

I might just have to reverse stalk all the guys until my poor heart heals.

In case you are wondering, that is an actual picture of Bass playing his bass.

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