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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Dumb Things I Did Lately


I'm sick with bronchitis, my doctor just put me on another round of antibiotics. I just found out I have to look for a new teaching job for next year. So I did what any logical person would do...

I met with a friend who, it turns out, her husband is 6'8". She's 5'6". After, I had to wait for traffic to subside so I went to a bar, ordered fish and chips and drank two beers. I was in and out of tears. I have just realized that's a bad thing in a bar because then you are emotionally vulnerable. I started flirting with some guy who was 6'8" like Astro until I noticed his wedding ring. His wife is 5'6". Then I told him about Astro. I guess they all like little girls.

The bar is near a race track, so it is also populated with short guys. Jockeys. I ended up flirting with one of them. We talked a little bit about racing.
Savvy: Had any good mounts lately?
Jockey: Sometimes, but it seems like it's been tough lately.
Savvy: I keep hearing that fields are getting smaller.
Jockey: Yeah, it's small sometimes, but last week I was in a race with a field of 15.
Savvy: Wow, that's alot. I confess I don't know that much about racing. I've heard of you and a few other people. Everything I learned I learn from reading the Black Stallion books. I read all of them when I was a kid.
Jockey: Me too! I love those books.
Savvy: I went to the races with an owner one day and he tried to teach me how to bet. I don't get it. What exactly is an exacta box?
Jockey: It's when...
Savvy: I'm going to totally forget everything you just said.

We laughed.
Savvy: I met a guy who used to be a jockey and he is now a chaplain at the track. Got tired of keeping his weight down.

I told him about Bass, Astro, Bill and C, my men this year. Of Bill, he said, Guys will try to take advantage if they think you are vulnerable. Then he told me about his fiance and showed me a tattoo of her.
Savvy: Is that why there's a chair between us?
Jockey: Yes. I'm afraid if I sit any closer...
he put his hand on the chair.
Savvy: I see. I put my hand on the chair.


We held hands briefly but intensely. He started talling me how beautiful and sexy he thought I was. I moved closer to him and suddenly his hand was on my thigh. He was trying to convince me that we were actually on a date somehow.
Jockey: So what do you think of me on a ten point scale?
Savvy: I'd say you're about an eight.
Jockey: I was thinking I'd get a ten from you.
Savvy: Well, you're alright.
Jockey: Is it cause I'm short?
Savvy: Haha. No.
Jockey: You're beautiful.

Seriously, I 've been thinking sort guys are really cute after dating Astro.

I did the logical thing. I got out of there and walked to a coffee shop to check my email. I was still pretty ripped when I started walking back toward the bar after checking. I was disappointed. I don't normally go to bars, but I felt lonely and upset. Must be the beer on tip of being sick. I wanted to be with someone.

As I walked back toward my car, he was in my path.
Jockey: Where did you go?
Savvy: I went to the coffee shop.
Jockey: I missed you.
Savvy: You did?
Jockey: Weren't we supposed to make out?
Savvy: Um, huh?
Jockey: I'll bet I have really bad breath....

His lips were on mine. He was french kissing me. I was still drunk, upset and lonely. I didn't push him away.
Savvy: You've been smoking.
Jockey: You're a great kisser.

We were making out on the street. Then we walked back to my car and made out even more there. His hands were everywhere. I was still too drunk to have any real remorse. I was desperate to feel better after my awful day. Of course he wanted to take it way further than I did. I wouldn't let it go anywhere, logically, of course.

Seriously, what a jerk. He has a fiance and there he was making out with me after getting drunk. And there I was, making out with a guy who is supposed to be with someone else. It's nice to be considered attractive, but I was just crying a few weeks ago about how awful it felt that men just want to use me for sex and nobody wants to be with me for me. At least it seemed that way when I was on a ton of medicine and had 5 glasses of wine. I didn't feel that great about it. I can see why a Christian would go from being a jockey to a chaplain. These guys seriously need some guidance.

So do I.

7 comments:

Michael Majeski said...

Oh, thanks so much for your comments by the way, they were very supportive. ummmm, I probably shouldn't be giving dating advice, seeing as I have like zero experience, but you should probably try to find guys someplace other than a bar. On the other hand, you were obiviously really upset so I could understand why you went there. You seem thoughtful and self-reflective so I don't see why you shouldn't be able to find someone who's not only interested in sex. But, you should feel good about yourself anyways, because considering how often you get hit on, you must be really beautiful.

anyways, thanks again for your comments

exchurchmouse said...

Can I ask why you have to look for a new teaching position next year? Are they cutting positions at your school? The same thing has happened to other teacher friends. I used to be a k-12 teacher, so that is why I am curious.

SavvyD said...

Michael--haha, well, note the title DUMB Things I Did Lately, not SMART things!! LOL. That's actually my first experience getting picked up on in a bar--um, wait, 2nd. But the first started at a pizza place and then ended at the same bar.

ExCM--Best answered by reading my other blog Choir Teacher Blues. There's been ALOT going on. I'm still not done explaining.

SavvyD said...

PS That jockey was really cuuute even without the 2 beers. The 2 beers just made me dumb enough to act on something I normally wouldn't. I think I was also taking cough medicine again. I would tell you who he is, but quite frankly, that might come back as libel. Obviously he's got some issues to work out with his fiance.

Amir Larijani said...

Savvy: Time for a little tough love...

Your IQ would normally be high; trouble is, it is inversely proportional to the square of your blood alcohol content. The drunker one gets, the stupider one gets. If you didn't know that before, you do now.

Fact is, you were in a public place. You're an adult, and no stranger to alcohol. You should know your alcohol tolerance by now. If 2 beers bother you, then keep it at 1 beer. Or wait till you get home before you imbibe. Or just don't imbibe at all if it's going to make you do stupid things.

A proper response to him would have been along the lines of, "WTF???? You are ENGAGED, YOU [bleeping] piece of [bleep]!!!"

(And for you prudes out there who take issue with my vernacular: what will you regret more, cussing a guy out or letting him have his way with you? Remember: you get to pay the price. Ergo, I say cuss his sorry ass out.)

Fact is, every red-blooded American male wants sex. If any of them say otherwise, then they are either (a) eunuchs, (b) lying, or (c) corpses.

On the other hand, a Christian guy with any maturity is going to stick to proper boundaries. Period.

If he will not do that, then tell him to (a) go directly to jail, (b) do not pass go, (c) do not collect $200.

(And if he's not a Christian, then WTF were you doing flirting with him?)

If you're not going to stand up for yourself, you are only going to repeat this cycle.

SavvyD said...

Well, hon, I can count on you for your honesty, eh? I was really upset and not exactly thinking straight to begin with. This is so not me, but certainly worth writing about.

Amir Larijani said...

Savvy: I understand that. We all have our stupid moments. God knows I've had mine.

My life didn't get better until I decided I'd take some ownership and do the right things. That means I'm meaner than a snake when it comes to people who sweet talk me.

That goes for women who want my body--it would be nice to find a single Christian woman who wants it LOL--or men who want to start business deals with me. I don't give a crap how good looking she is.

I don't care how much money he thinks I can make. At the end of the day, whether she wants my body or he wants my money, they both have the same thing in common: they want to gratify themselves at my expense.

Piss on them.

The world is fundamentally cruel, and people are generally driven by their base desires. For some that means sex; for others greed; for others some combination thereof; others may have even more insidious vices.

Add alcohol to that, and you have the perfect storm.