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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Nothing Means Anything

You KNOW what a bad date means. Clearly there was something WRONG with pairing the two of you for an evening, forget a second date, much less a relationship. But in our mixed up modern world, a great date doesn't neccessarily mean anything either.

I had a really awesome time with Bass. Every date I had never laughed so hard with anyone. We had such a great time talking. We had some great phone conversations. We've texted each other for days on end. Hours of silly text messages while he was away with his band made my day go by more smoothly and happily. There was no doubt in my mind that history would repeat itself. He came back from one trip after calling me three times, eager to talk and see me again. We made a date for the next night since I had an easy schedule for the following day. He was asking me things that made me think he was serious.

Did you like what you saw when you met me?
Yes, but I didn't know if we had anything to talk about.
But you were attracted?
Good. That's important.

He also noticed littled things about me. My cute gloves, my cute scarves. He gave me a nickname.

But then things sort of trailed off. He came back from one trip and called me saying Sorry I didn't call you sooner.
I'll forgive you this time. haha
Yeah but next time I better be texting you as soon as I land.
Haha. No, I accept reality.

He was too tired to join me for the concert he was supposed to go to. He seriously was too tired. I heard him yawning on the other end. He didn't make plans to see me again but knew I was going to go bowling again on Monday. He was there.

We hugged and he touched my scarf. Scarfie.
I touched his face. Scruffy.
Seriously, I thought we were going to be fine. But then I sold myself a little short. I knew we weren't on a date. I knew he hadn't asked me out. But next thing I knew I was at his place so we could ice our shoulders. It was kind of cute. Then it turned into a rather intense makeout session.

He left two days later wanting to go to a sushi making party that I was attending. We went for sushi on one of our dates. He contacted me often from Buffalo. I swear I have something in the neighborhood of 100 text messages. He called me while he waited to go on for the concert Saturday. He texted me to find out if I had made it to the party. He texted me after they finished. I sent him pictures of us making sushi and a really cute one of me.
How cuteeeeeeeee!! Who took that picture?? Who all's there?
The next day he texted me when he got back in town.
How was the gig?
Did you meet any handsome men?
Ya, but he was lame.

And now nothing. Nothing at all. He wass in freaking Buffalo texting me in three feet of snow because he missed me. Now he's back in town and nothing??

I don't get it. I just don't. We seriously have so much in common. Maybe I shouldn't have joked about us being just friends, but he quickly corrected me, We're dating friends. Doesn't that mean we go on, like, you know--DATES? And fabulous ones at that? We have so much in common. Wouldn't he try to see me again before he goes away again to Reno next weekend? I seriously don't get it.

I'm just saying, nothing means anything anymore.


Amir Larijani said...

You're just friends, and you had a makeout session with him? Is it just me or is there something wrong with that picture?

Is he Christian? Have you discussed spiritual matters with him? What values do you two share?

I hate to sound like Dr. Laura, but you probably ought to read the book "Ten Stupid things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives".

(She has one for the men too, and I'd recommend that to your "dating friend".)

D said...

I think calling ourselves "dating friends" is actually the understatement of the year. We have a bond that's tighter than just friends, but he's not my boyfriend. I can say that we're dating or seeing each other, but he's not my boyfriend.

BTW, I've read that book.

Amir Larijani said...

Well, I hope I'm wrong, but the red flags are a flyin'.

I'm hardly a dogmatist, but--as an older phogey--I've yet to see a scenario like what you have described lead to anything good.

D said...

It's modern dating I guess. Keep reading cause he's supposed to come by and hang out tomorrow. Plus, I wrote about how stupid I felt over this in the next post.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Amir.

(carefully readjusts nun's habit)

disclaimer: I respect the vocation of nuns and priests.