Bass flat out lied for no real reason.
How did I find out?
Well, a group in my circle has been talking about going karaokeing for a long time, Bass included. I called Xtina to follow up about karaoke since we had talked about going when Bass was out of town. Her first words:
Xtina: Hey D, are you going to the St. Patrick's Day pub crawl? It's going to be so fun and Bass is going to be there...
Savvy: Oh, whatever. I'm not going because I just got into an accident and I kind of hurt pretty bad. I'm taking meds that don't mix with drinking. Seriously, I'm like all WHEE!!
Xtina: Oh man, that's terrible! How's your car?
Savvy: Well I'm at the place to have it get checked out. It's pretty bad, my doors are totally messed up. Hey, let's do karaoke this weekend. I SERIOUSLY need to do something fun!
Xtina: Cool! I was going to call you to let you know about it! We're going on Friday.
Savvy: Only Bass can't come, OK?
Xtina: Oh, he already knows about it because he was there last night when we talked about it.
Savvy: Oh, sweet Lord! Do you know he told me he was with his parents? I knew he was actually there at the dance thingie.
Xtina: Oh my gosh, what a jerk!
Savvy: Seriously! I haven't pushed him at all. He was the one who was saying you're so pretty, you're so hot, did you like what you saw when you met me because that's important, you can finally spend time with me over spring break, I'm gonna stop by and see you on my way home, we can spend all summer together. That's some way to treat someone who you call your only friend.
Xtina: Wow! What a jerk! Seriously, men stink. Just ignore him on Friday!
Savvy: Don't worry, I will.
And that, my friends, is why you shouldn't lie in a small circle of friends.
Let me explain my philosophy. He's not my boyfriend, that means he's under no obligation. We don't have a commitment. But people did know that we were seeing each other or that we had gone out a few times. So there is just no need to make things up. He went on and on about wanting to come see me and wanting to do things with me. He talked about my spring break, Good, you can finally spend some time with me.
He talked about spending all summer long with him.
He even criticized how flakey people can be in this town.
And then he, himself, FLAKED. And WORSE, LIED about what he was doing.
The thing is, why bother? Why tell me that he was getting together with his parents and then go out with the group to a dance event?? Seriously!! Why not just tell me you are going to the dance thing?
And the thing is, I KNEW. I knew he had lied even before Xtina confirmed it with me. Something in me just knew even when my friends were saying to me to give him a break because he was attractive and interesting and seemed to be interested in me. And because he said, Alot of people don't understand that's how it is with us guys on the road. Sometimes we're gone for two weeks at a time. Friends were saying maybe he's still on the road in his mind or something. Or one friend told me, You're a great catch. He'll be back.
It never bothered me that he was on the road performing. He kept in touch via calling and via text.
I thought I was dealing with a normal person, but then I realized that this wasn't the first time that he had promised the world on a platter and then pulled away. Why promise at all? I'm just saying!! Why talk about a future or things you will do or where you will go with someone? It's unkind. It makes you look unreliable when you don't follow through.
I should have learned a long time ago that people like to just talk. I used to sell gym memberships and oh, the STORIES I would hear about people wanting to lose weight and get in shape!! One guy talked to me for HOURS on the phone. My goodness, they couldn't IMAGINE putting a price on their health. But oops, when I gave a price it was just too much too pay when they could do it using their home gym which had been gathering dust and used as a clothes hanger for the past 15 years. I saw this happen several times over in my own family with exercise equipment. The best of intentions fly to hell in a handbasket. The home equipment is the very handbasket in which it flies.
I really wanted to BELIEVE that he intended all of those things because that would have been sooo cool.
I get the impression that nothing was intended at all, so I guess those unintended things go to hell in a handbasket, too. Along with our friendship.