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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Ex Files--Liars!

Staying friends with an ex can be downright weird--especially when little lies get involved.

Are some lies better than others? Juicier? How do you rate the caliber of a lie? Is keeping a secret a lie?

I decided to check his profile on Match just to see if he had hidden it. I get curious, ya know! He told that he was taking a brief respite from the dating scene. Interesting, but I didn't believe it. This was also two weeks ago, so maybe then he WAS taking a break THEN.

He posted a bunch of new pictures from the cruise that we were supposed to go on. I was outrageously amused. He looked like he had a GREAT time without me, which I sort of knew he would. There were shots of him with people he had just met and the friend he took with him on the criuse. At the time I had hoped he would get seasick, NAH, so much for that little wish. I'm glad he had fun and I got to see that. It makes me feel better about breaking up with him. If it didn't hurt that much then he didn't really care for me, right? Knew that too.

The thing that I realized is that he looks, well, a little bit obnoxious. Here's ME drinking a Corona with two girls I just met. Here's ME by the pool. Here's ME drinking a Corona and making a peace sign. Here's ME next to my mustang and in my military uniform. Here's ME under a sign that says FREE VIAGRA. Here's ME with my dad (ok, I'll back off on that one cos that's kind of sweet.) But in the Corona shot, he's got an expression on his face that makes him look like Beavis. Honestly, he looks like he's trying too hard.

I needed one more email to someone to keep going and get my extension on Match.com.

Hey there C,
Nice pics. BTW, you don't have to make things up for me. I didn't really believe you when you said you were taking a break. Talk to you later.


I still got a text message from him wishing me a Happy St. Pat's. He also relished his accomplishments at the local shooting range. A perfect score or something.

But seriously, what is it with lying these days? I mean, why lie to me? It's not like I'm going to get back together with him. That's an error of commission, meaning he actually did something. He lied.

I suppose I tell my lies too... I never told him that I was seeing other people up to the week before he asked me to be his girlfriend! I also told him all about Bass and I haven't told him that things didn't work out so hot. But we don't talk that much, so why would I call him and tell him? That's an error of omission, meaning I left it out. I'm not really lying, right?

I did really care for this guy at one time, but I honestly wonder if we are really friends.

I quote Howard Jones, 80s solo artist.
What is love anyway? Does anybody love anybody anyway? Whoa. Whoa.


Will said...

I'd stop thinking about those who'd lied, and concentrate upon those who enjoy your company, value the time spent with you, and encourage your independence.

So much of relationship, when founded upon trust, seems to collapse in negativity. The trick, in moving forward, is to recognise our role in the break up, take responsibility for our role, and then do everything we can not to repeat those things which we've recognised within ourselves.

What you've outlined is hurtful (no denying that!); however, keep in mind that your life~~when Single~~is your own.
You'll find Mr. Right, in your own time. It's a very big pool, and sometimes, you run into a guppie disguised as a shark.
Good Luck.


Will said...

Ps: I've responded to your response
at Google Share Your Blog!

Go check it.

Take care.