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Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Splitting the Bill

When my boyfriend invited me on a cruise I was thrilled. Then he asked when I would pay my half... Split the bill? Me?

Money is a relationship problem. Where are we going? How much will we spend when we get there? Who pays?

Maybe I shouldn't have been suprised. But I was. He has paid for everything so far. So when he started talking about going on a cruise over dinner, I assumed that the inviter was paying. I shared the news of the invitation to my family. They were excited too. "Wow, sounds like he really wants to invest in you. You're worth it."

The other problem is that I've been busy treating myself to clothes and jewelry. Dating wasn't somthing I was planning on paying for. I guess that's a difference between men and women.

Now I'm paying for a cruise that I wasn't planning on paying for. He also delivered the news that he had racked up more of a bill than he anticipated from eating out. Some of the spending, he admitted, had nothing to do with me. That's very true as he is at a major bowl game today ($250 for his ticket. Good thing I didn't go!) and also travelled to an away game right before we met. Football spells trouble for your wallet!! Through he did take me to a pep rally where we got to hear the band play and only paid for parking. My dinner was so bad they took it off the bill and he only paid for desert. I was a cheap date that evening! He even joked that another girl he had dated said, "You know things are going south in a relationship when you have a date to Hardee's." (On the West Coast, that's Carl's Jr.)

Is that true? It depends on what you are looking for in a relationship. I mean, I can cook dinner, too. We can take sandwiches or fried chicken to the park and make it a romantic picnic--for me it brings back warm, sunny, golden memories of summer fun with a large extended family of cousins, aunts and uncles. A real relationship is about more than just eating out at fancy restaurants.

My mom thinks he blew it a little bit on this one. He should have been more clear. "I guess it's more like you're taking yourself on a cruise."

The money news puts a different spin on where I thought we were in our relationship. It made me think that maybe he doesn't really want a girlfriend, or didn't realize how much he would be spending on a girl. Can money do that?

1 comment:

This Daring Heart. said...

Well, I can see how you are shaky when he asked you to pay your half. You are used to him paying for things in the relationship and kind of assumed this is just another one of those things. There's nothing wrong with that, it's logical. I think he should have been more clear on the money facts.

Rather than "Would you like to go on a cruise with me?"

He should have said something along the lines of "If you're looking to go on a cruise, I recommend _______. Plus I'll be there too. Blah blah blah."

It might be annoying to settle money matters, but it's very important in a relationship. (I can't believe I'm speaking as if I've had any experience)

Well of the experience I've had (very minor) I would offer to pay for such things I believe would be too much, and if he offers to pay then I let him.