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Friday, November 30, 2007

To Blog or Not to Blog, That is the Question

If I write about someone, do I risk losing them? Is it ethical to write about someone?

When I told a friend of mine that I was writing about my most recent string of dates with the same guy, he said, "It's unChristian." Really, he was just teasing me. But he has strong feelings about this having been blogged about before. "If I know a girl I'm dating keeps a blog and she writes about me, I'm out of there."

But, what if it's something nice? What if there are no names and she is saying how much she just loooves him? Will he stop talking to me when he reads that I have quoted him?

"Listen," he counselled me. "If you like the guy, don't blog about him."

What if I keep the blog secret? What if the guy never finds it? What if someday we can laugh together about the things that went wrong?

On the other hand, what if my insights are right? What if people agree with the things I have written? What if other people take comfort in what I have written because they have gone through something similar. What if I did really like him, but now have too many questions.

It's worth the risk.

--------------------------

There are, of course a wide variety of freaks and wierdos that this doesn't apply to. Oh, how I wish they were so easily gotten rid of!


A Christmas Gift for my Boyfriend?



Thank God for generous return policies.

All the girly advice books tell ladies not to splurge on gifts for gentlemen. Perhaps it's a good rule, but certainly it didn't apply to me! See, for the first time in a long time, I was going to have a boyfriend for Christmas. It wasn't some guy I was seeing, but a bona fide boyfriend. My mom had expressed her hope that I would finally bring someone to a family gathering. It was right to splurge for that occaision. I wanted to celebrate!

I have been on a bit of a jewelry splurge lately, and couldn't help looking at the unique replicas of ancient pieces at the Metropolitan Museum of Art store. Something from here would be the perfect gift for a really smart guy-which he was. And there was something so wonderful about the sentences, "It's a replica of an Ethiopian Cross from the 5th century. My girlfriend got it for me." I could imagine him smiling proudly, eyes twinkling with love for me.

But then things faltered. Was it my mistake to tell him I wanted to take things slowly? It seemed like the prudent thing to do on our last date. But does it make guys lose interest? I didn't want to get scared or scare him off, or have things move too quickly in an initmate sense. I thought he was OK with it. So, while I left with thoughts of having a boyfriend this Christmas and finally having the chance to get to know someone. Perhaps he left thinking that he wasn't going to get what he wanted from me. It's happened before.

When I bought it, the adorable salesladies insisted, "Hey, this is for a man or for a woman. If you decide you don't like him, you can always keep it for yourself." They boxed, ribboned and bowed it. I couldn't wait to see him open the box on Christmas.

I laughed with them. It's a really nice piece. But everytime I would think of wearing it, I would think of him and what I hoped he would say.

"It's a replica of an Ethiopian Cross from the 5th century. My girlfriend got it for me." It just rolls off the tongue soothingly.

I'm trying to find the twinkle in his eye, the sparkle, the love, the pride that I hoped for. Instead I just feel a little pang as I think of returning that hope. I have so much to give to the right guy.

I'll just remember my little dream. Not wedding vows or dresses, but a simple joy that cost just $130.

"It's a replica of an Ethiopian Cross from the 5th century. My girlfriend got it for me."

Most likely they won't remember all this when I return the necklace to the store, but I will.

-------------

More about this guy.

Benchwarmer in the Game of Love



Last night I thought I'd be writing about getting things back on track with a boyfriend.

Now it seems like that just isn't the case. I have a friend who tells me it's normal for people to be seeing other people and doing their own thing. But it just seems like every time we are getting close again something happens that makes me pause.

He was sick with bronchitis last week, now I have a sinus infection that turned into a horrible cough. I now sound like a frog. I pretty much gave up on him last week since I felt shut out. Then he texted and called me to catch up. When it came to going out he offered, "Maybe Sunday." Via text flirting, this led to a date:

C: If I didn't have to go to work, I would bring you something.
D: Please bring some xoxo on Sunday.
C: When would you like a theraputic visit?

But today after a few promising texts, I called for the sheer entertainment value of sounding like a frog. He sang an opera chorus to me, which I really enjoyed. We both enjoy singing-an unusual quality in a man. We had a few laughs until...

Well, does it sound alarm bells off for you if a guy took the night off from work and didn't think to try to spend Friday night with you? Then suddenly Sunday wasn't certain because he may have signed up for overtime.

There is certainly something to be said for taking things slowly, but he was talking about going away next weekend, Sunday not being for certain. Did he hear the disappointment in my voice? To use sports terms, which men understand, when he took me to a wedding and I thought I was first string. Now I'm starting to feel like a bench warmer.















Thursday, November 29, 2007

What are you looking for?

Every once in awhile, some generous soul wants to try to set you up. Last time, I couldn't help joking around!

I was in the room with Cute Single Teacher and a Married Teacher. I had heard him make some casual conversation with another teacher who asked, "You look like you didn't sleep much last night. What was her name?" Men have a natural tendancy to go along with this. "Caroline." Oh great. The only cute single guy and he's kind of a jerk.

MT asked, "So, what are you looking for?"

I've heard this question before and answered honestly so many times. I just don't feel like baring my soul to well-meaning strangers anymore. Plus, it was a disaster of the first degree when I did get set up. (Should I call?)

"Someone nice. Not you." This was directed at Cute Teacher.

MT, "He's a nice guy. Seriously, what are you looking for?"

"Money. One of a man's most endearing qualities is his wallet."

"Well, looks like teachers are out."

"Yep. I'm sooo OK with that."

After that, do I think, touche, I'm soooo funny? Or do I think, Oh darn, she might have set me up with my dream man.

I've decided I'm freaking hysterical!





Sunday, November 25, 2007

Strange Dates Indeed

I went to a wedding as a 2nd date! Most peculiar, Mama!

I'm sure you want to know how I got myself into this one. I kind of do, too! Curiouser and curiouser is the rabbit hole of modern dating.

I emailed with this guy for a few months and it seemed like it was time to meet. He invited me to a halloween party last minute, but I was dressed as a man and didn't think that would be a good costume for meeting a potential new boyfriend.

But, his date cancelled on him for a wedding and he asked if I would go. We hadn't met yet. He must not know alot of girls. He was one of the groomsmen and introduced the bride and groom on grad night many years ago.

We met for lunch and hit it off, so I agreed to go. Of course, I had to buy a new dress for the occaision. I didn't think I should wear black to a wedding, though it's my favorite color. Very slimming! I settled on a cute purple Grecian number that revealed a tasteful amount of cleavage. (Yes, this is the same dress from More Dirty Old Men)

I was going to leave my house for the wedding, but decided to rinse of my dirty car first. One of my students had inscibed that age old plea WASH ME. I merrily rinsed off my car, not realizing that I had locked my keys inside of it. I tried all the doors in a panic. If only I had left the trunk open! I looked longingly at my keys in the front seat, then walked to the neighbors' in my high heels. When I was in my teens, I had noooo problem vaulting myself onto the roof via a brick wall next to the house then crawling in the window. I did this after formal dances so my parents would not catch on that I didn't get home until 3am. Or, in the case of senior prom, 5 am. My parents had that brick wall lowered just because of that. If I could do it, so could a criminal.

I was late. AAA did not put a rush order on this lockout as promised. I would have saved time by going to the car wash. I missed the ceremony. (The church choir sang. I'll bet they had the order of the mass and the bride's wishes. I really hate weddings after the one I sang at. Misunderstandings and Dirty Old Men)

C found me talking to a couple. We hugged. Then he got lost in the crowd since he was one of the groomsmen. "I'm here with C."
"Are you his wife?" Blank look. "No."
"Are you his girlfriend." Blank look. "No."
Luckily C came up with something. "We just started dating yesterday."
"Congratulations. That's wonderful." I smiled. "Thank you."

Huh? We went on a date yesterday. He introduced me around as his date to the family. "Felicidades." (I congratulated them.) To the bride and groom. "This is my date, D." Alot of hellos and nice-to-meet-yous followed.

This led to another conversation with tablemates at the reception.
"So, how long have you known C?" I asked.
"We just met him yesterday."
"Oh, that's nice. How do you know the bride and groom?"
What I really wanted to say was, "Me too."

I couldn't stay long since I had to go to a progressive dinner. He walked me to my car and kissed me sweetly. It was a perfect ending to a strange date.






How's Your Text Life?

Is it satisfying?

My text life was really happening lately, so it made me curious. What can I say?

I asked a college freshman. She really perked up. "It's great! It's always my boyfriend or my roommate." God only knows what they text about.

My text life was, I'm sure different. I was texting back and forth with my old college roommate about getting together over the holidays. Sometimes I got texts from a friend of mine from my New York days.

Mostly, I was getting text messages from the new guy I was seeing.

------------------------------------

C: What's your schedule like? I have Thurs off.
D: Who wants to know & why?
C: Who: Me! Why: another date :)
D: I'm still thinking about that kiss.
C: Yeah, me too.

----------------------------

C: Got the keys to my new place, movers come on Friday.
D: Hows the packing going?
C: Barely freaking started.
D: Better get on it. That's an order!
C: Watcha gonna do to me if I disobey.
D: Send you to the pokey.
C: But I am the one with the handcuffs!
C: So how then do YOU propose to lock ME up? :-)
D: Guess I will surrender to you.
C: A wise choice my dear. :-)
D: We will have to discuss the terms of my surrender on Thurs.
C: A wise choice, my dear. I am a most beneficent dictator.

-----------------------------------

C: Hey QT! How r u?

C: Hi cutie. Workin' hard, hardly workin'. How bout you?

This is so much fun! No wonder my students keep their cell phones handy during class. I've really got to get one of those cell phones where every letter has its own button!

But then it turned into just text messages. See, I look at text messages as leading to a phone call. Or maybe as a quick substitute when you are trapped in a meeting, or have really bad reception. But isn't it just as quick to call someone and say all those same things? Maybe even quicker than a whole conversation of just text messages.

After getting a text message saying he was ill with bronchitis and a fever of 101, I called. That's when he told me that he didn't like talking on the phone because he sometimes stutters. He prefers emails, text and face to face contact. I only heard him stutter once. "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the phone call, I really do."

He wants me to have a relationship with him based on text messages? Is that what my students do? Do they have people that they just text with?

I have such great memories of long phone conversations with my boyfriends. Since I haven't seen him in awhile now, all I have now are sorethumbs and questions. If he goes away for a weekend to visit friends, then I get text messages for two weeks because he works nights. I don't think a text life is really all that satisfying after all.




Thanksgiving with a Turkey

A turkey of a Guy that is!

I was at dinner with a group of people and ended up having a drink with Guy after. He invited me to have Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's. There were lots of singles there, some I had met before, some I had not.

I thought this guy was interested in me, but now I'm a little bit confused. He sat with me at dinner--we ended up at the kid's table. Another lady came and joined us and we dished about some of the people that we mutually knew. Eventually I asked, "What have you heard about me? Have you heard that I'm a big flirt?" Then I put my arm around Guy. He held my hand for about two minutes. Good, right?

After dinner, we went for a walk together. No hand holding, nothing. And of course leaving a party for a walk always sounds suspicious. "Wow, D, your hair is really messed up. What'd you do on that walk?" Lots of winking. "Humidity. What can I say? You found us out!"

He also drank lots of wine and tried to get me to do the same. "You need to drink some more. You need to get drunk." My response? "No thanks, I'm still hung over from last night. I had nightmares about some lady trying to kill me with her steel bottomed boots. Then Snoopy's house came flying through to announce The End."

Then Guy invited me to drop by his brother's place and see his house that is totally being remodelled. Sure, why not? He showed me around, pointed out all the things that he was proud of. He also planned to keep the cabinets in the kitchen. It was a complete mess. I'm sure it's going to be great later on. But it wasn't what he had described to me. It sounded like a palace. I guess a man's home is his castle. Plus, it was the house he grew up in, so he's attached to it.

We were alone together. Nothing happened. I was thinking that would have been a great time for a little kiss. Nothing.

He took a bottle of wine with him to his brother's place. I drove. I had about half a glass of it, he had the rest. He brought the bottle for himself.

Sitting at his brother's place was quite an experience. They were really nice to me and wanted to know all about me. They made me sing for them. Of course they told me it gave them goosebumps and were very complimentary--always a bonus with me. :)

We also gave him a hard time about the cabinets. I told him if his mother were still alive, she would say, "Why are you doing this to me? Change the cabinets." His brother heartily agreed.

Guy has seven brothers and sisters. He made me talk on the phone to another one of his brothers. "Please tell him to change the cabinets."
"Who is this?"
"D."
"Yes, but tell me about yourself. How do you know Guy?"
"I met him about a month ago at a dinner."
"Well, praise God, that's terrific."

Praise God? Oh no no no no no. It's not like that. I met him a month ago and hadn't seen him until yesterday. Now I feel like I'm being introduced around like a girlfriend. What?

I had to get out of there. "Wow. Look at the time. Should I drop you off at home or make you walk because your mother would really want you to change those cabinets?"

I dropped him off. No kiss. Not even a hug. Not even an attempt. I guess I'm already his ex-girlfriend. I'm so OK with that.

Anyone want my Turkey leftovers?

digg story








Friday, November 23, 2007

Freaky Weirdo Strikes Again

Why is this guy STILL writing to me? Did the Lord tell him I am the one??

---------------------------------
Hi! Happy thanksgiving.
I am thankfull for my Church, family, job and you.
I am Haveing a happy, cheerfull day: thank God for people, work, members of a loving church: www.whywouldyousendmethewebsiteofyourchurch?.com

I am cooking a turkey, yes, red hot and steaming!! (Oh just what I need, another Turkey of a guy!)
I have a personal web page, more of my story at
www.IsellAmwayandifIcan'tgetadatewithyoumaybeIcangetyoutosellAmway.com
or www.IamanalcholicanthoughtIwouldtellthestoryofhowIbecameaChristianonline.com

Happy thanksgiving
Freaky Weirdo

------------------------------

Yes, I checked out the website. Of course I did! I can't believe he would still write to me. I don't know if there is a way to block this guy from sending me emails, but I will find it. Maybe I should just tell him to stop writing to me.

Earlier emails from Freaky Weirdo

Sunday, November 18, 2007

First impressions

My last two chats. I am now invisible:

5: What site do I know you from.
D: You don't remember? I sent you an email with my picture. I'm so hurt. :'(
5: Now I remember. Cute. Busty?
D: Why do guys always look there?
5: Because they look right back.
D: R u a perv?
5: Why? Because I love boobs?

-----------------------

PervDr: I used to date a teacher from your school.
SavvyD: What's her name?
PervDr: Marilyn
SavvyD: Last name?
PervDr: I've said enough.
SavvyD: But then I could ask for a reference.
PervDr: For what? My dick size?
SavvyD: That's circumference. (What an idiot. I logged out.)
PervDr: It's girth that matters isn't it?
PervDr: Do you give a good massage?
PervDr: I guess you are gone. Bye.

------------------------

Yes, gone forever.

There was a chat I engaged in on MySpace that had the same themes. How do you look naked? Can I have a picture of your body? Chat is the least classy way of getting to know someone. But then, you've seen the pervy guys who try to meet underage girls online. I love Dateline NBC for exposing those guys. There's something comforting about anonymity that makes these guys go that direction. There is such a thing as a healthy interest in sex, but getting pervy online rather than meeting with someone and developing a relationship spells serious psychosis.

I'm sure you're wondering why I was chatting with these guys in the first palce? Let me explain. "5" was a random surprise. I got rid of him very quickly. The other guy "PervDr" was a guy I went on a date with a year ago. We met at Red Lobster and I had a sneaking suspicion that he was an alchoholic and a pervert. He had two drinks and had driven out of the area despite being ON CALL at the hospital where he worked. He talked about alchohol alot. He also mentioned a "friend" of his who went on some sexual tourism trip despite being married. I thought that was gross and told him so.

I always trust my gut feelings about people, but thought "Hey, I could be wrong and I'm not seeing anyone right now." Boredom and curiousity won out. I was hoping for a dinner date somewhere in there, but he comfirmed my initial impressions of him. One of his first questions on our year later chat was, "What do you like to drink?" Then he confirmed his perviness even without a date.

It just goes to show that you should always trust your first impressions. People are more honest than you could ever imagine--and with very little prompting. Just listen.



Sunday, November 11, 2007

Ditto

Why do guys keep cutting and pasting the same email to all the girls? Why don't they just post their picture online and actually pay for membership so we know they already wrote to us.

Original Message (Sent Sep 17, 10:25 AM)
-------------------------------

Hey: How are you doing! I just read your profile and would like to know more about you. You sounded very friendly, fun, and outgoing all around. It is not easy these days to find a girl like you who has so many wonderful qualities. Anyways, I definitely would like to know more about you. Feel free to tell me about yourself, such as your interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes, and what you are looking for in a person of interest. You can also write me to al at yh or here is fine. I hope to hear from you soon! A

Original Message (Sent Sep 24, 12:35 AM)
-------------------------------

Hi A

Thanks for your sweet note. You sound pretty cool yourself. My profile was pretty all-inclusive. I am as fabulous as I sound. LOL.

I think we are all looking for the same thing, someone who we are attracted to on a number of levels, and see the world from a similar point of view in enough ways to get along. How about you?

D

----------------------------
Hi D:

Thanks for the reply! I am looking for the same things as mentioned by you. Someone who is open minded, easy to get along, sharing similar interests and views, and facing new paths and challenges together. By the way, do you sing opera? That must be pretty fun. Singing makes one happy all the time. How was your weekend? Did you do anything interesting and fun? Well, have a great day and I hope to hear from you soon!

A

----------------------

I am no longer a member at XXXXX so I can't
see your pictures anymore. Can you send it to me
through email? You can see my pictures at
http://www.geocities.com/xxxxx.html
for your convenience. It is a little simple website I
created for myself. Hope you like it.

It has been cooler with the exception of today. I
think the temperature will hit 90 degrees by noon
according to the forcast. The change of season is
here. Did you have a good Summer?

Allen


I wrote back to him after he sent me his webpage. I must have erased the email. We were in touch the year before and never met. I don't remember why. But then he didn't even remember me from the previous time. Are they insincere, forgetful or desperate? It's hard to say!

Let's look at the emails together:

First, we couldn't figure out what dating service we had written to each other. Then I was going through a really hard time with work.


A wrote:
Hi D:

How are you doing! I am sorry that it took me so long
to email you back with pictures. You must be very
curious of how I look like. It is just school and
Master's program got me really busy this week for some
reason, and traffic is not good in the Summer time.
Anyways, I should have managed my time better still.
You can see my pictures at
http://www.geocities.com/xxxxxxxx.html
for your convenience. It is just a little website I
made for myself. Hopefully you will like it. Don't
forget to answer the questions I asked from the
previous email. They will definitely help me to know
more about you. Also, were you born in 77 and that
was why it appears in your screen name? Have a great
weekend!

Allen


Thanks A, I totally understand about the MA taking over your life. It's tough. What are you studying? Please don't htink I am being completely shallow about wanting to see a picture, it's just that once I made the mistake of meeting someone without a picture at all and it just wasn't fair to me to meet him and find out then that he had been burned in an accident. Other time people postpone and you never meet because they are embarrassed or perhaps you might not be attracted. Honesty about everything is just the best policy. 77 is a number that people don't usually use, 7 is the number for heaven and Godly things, and the name of a band I used to like. We'll have to get to the other questions another time as I only have this one open now. Is it important to have answers to those particular questions before you meet someone?

Talk to you soon,
D

------------------

I remember now, he asked alot of questions, demanded answers and then I just stopped hearing from him. Not only that, it was annoying. The messages are the old style with the arrows, so they get really messy to repost.

This isn't the first guy to engage in these antics, and he won't be the last. They ought to know that we're onto them and cut it out.




Love Greencard Style



This guy made me uncomfortable because he was:
a. desperate for a wife
b. desperate for a greencard


Here are the "greatest hits" of our emails so you can share with me the most gory details. He certainly hammered at his point of voice and video being the only way to get to know someone. Apparently I like to hide behind words and am not truly serious about finding someone. Never mind that his situation is bizarre, desperate and unusual. Never mind that I didn't feel we were a match because he couldn't see the humor in some of my stories. Never mind that he didn't seem to think I was funny at all. Never mind that he didn't get me at all or that I'm just kidding about doing research for a screenplay. It's called a conversation starter...the guy should say something like, "Haha, you're really witty. Let's do some research together." Who knows, maybe someday I will write a screenplay.


Original Message (Sent Oct 03, 3:41 PM)
-------------------------------

Hi D!

Your profile information is interesting and your photo is attractive. I am interested in getting to know you. You seem to be the person that I would like to pursue a personal dialogue with and see where that may lead. If you like my profile, and if you believe there could be potential for a friendship that may lead to a serious relationship, then I really look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Tor

Original Message (Sent Oct 08, 2:44 AM)
-------------------------------

Hi Tor, what's up in Sweden? I don't know if you would like it here. Alot of the time I don't even like it here. I keep thinking I would be happier if I moved back to New York City (New Amsterdam to you--just kidding). You sound so serious about finding someone. I'm surprised you haven't found anyone already. I have found it difficult to take anyone too seriously. I had a boyfriend from the internet and we had a relationship for 8 months. He was the first person I met from the internet. He was a great guy, but 14 years older than me with 3 kids, so I seemed like a baby to him. He is married to someone who didn't mind all of that. Since then, everyone got on the internet and I haven't had much luck from meeting people on the internet.

I have stuffy interests and a fun personality. I love to laugh and joke around.
My family comes from Spain. I have never visited, but am hoping to go this summer--Italy too since I studied Italian. I don't know a single word in Swedish unless it's in the IKEA catalog!! What's your personality like?

Take care!

D

Original Message (Sent Oct 08, 9:54 AM)
-------------------------------

Hi D!

Thanks for responding to my message. You have a wonderful smile and intelligent eyes. (DUH!!)

How are you involved in church today? How has Jesus impacted your life?

Are you employed to research for an enterntainment script? (Is direction given by either Joel&Ethan Cohen, or by Woody Allen?) Or what do you do actually? What is your environmental science degree and from whch university?

Why would I not like it where you live? I have visited there many times, it has many great places to live and raise a family.

D, why on earth would you have attempted a serious relationship with a married guy with 3 children? Why even attempting as a Christian a serious relationship with someone who is divorced?! I regard Christian desperation for a husband a good thing because without a passionate longing for a husband I would not be interested, but the desperation should neither deviate from wisdom nor Scripture.

I have often said that I need a latino wife -- someone who can express passion and emotion. I need someone who can show that she needs me.

Are you a trained singer?

I look forward to knowing more about you. If we communiate on Skype you will know more of my personality than words on screen.

Kindly,

Tor


Original Message (Sent Oct 11, 1:18 AM)
-------------------------------

He wasn't married. I don't play that game. I don't think it's a very friendly place because we all drive so far. The stuff about doing research for a film is a joke not to be taken literally. I like to joke around alot.

What is Skype? I'm not a big fan of online chatrooms or messenger programs. I get bored because most times people have multiple chats going on and you are just one of them. Lots of dead time=boring.

Later,
D



Original Message (Sent Oct 11, 9:48 AM)
-------------------------------

I don´t like chats either.

If you would like to talk (voice - as in telephone) then please contact me on Skype. Christians misrepresent themselves just as much as anyone else, but it is more difficult to hide behind the Christian pretence in a voice- and video conversation.

If you are serious about Christian relationships, and not also in relationships just joking around, then Skype is the next connecting point between us. I have provided you with my contacts. You are welcome to call me on Skype.

Kindly,

Tor


Original Message (Sent Oct 12, 1:00 AM)
-------------------------------

Would you mind explaining how skype works?

I don't have video or know how to use the internet for making phone calls. I am serious about relationships, but I like to laugh about things when I can find the humor in the situation.

Take care,

D

Original Message (Sent Oct 12, 6:51 AM)
-------------------------------

Hi D!

I understand your point. Emotions and intent are more easily interpreted in a voice conversation. Look forward to hearing you.

Tor

Original Message (Sent Oct 14, 2:01 PM)
-------------------------------

Hi Tor,

You should have a look at my blog which definitely gives insight into the kind of person I am. I write about funny things, sad things and sometimes get on my soapbox. www.savvysinglechristian.blogspot.com I am something of a writer, even if I am not a great one, so I think alot about me comes out in my writing.

I am a bit overwhelmed at work since I started a new job. If writing for awhile isn't worth your time, I understand.

Take care,
D

Original Message (Sent Oct 27, 7:27 AM)
-------------------------------

Hi D!

I have now read several of your candid writings on your blog. Sorry about your ankle injury. Sorry also to hear of your misfortune in online dating. I guess if you had immediately steering that grandpa into the Skype you would have known to not pursue him (or I guess he was pursuing you. In a voice- and video conversation, pretence and misrepresentation are more difficult.

I am now comitted to finding my escape from Sweden by commencing marriage and family and career elsewhere, through internet. I decided to commence a full-time job searching for a Christian wife on internet upon my return to Sweden from Canada. So while you have little time, I have recently dedicated 40 hrs/week to finding love and marriage and family.

I hope that you will find at least a microphone for your computer soon.

Kindly,

Tor


Original Message (Sent Oct 30, 2:39 AM)
-------------------------------

Hi Tor,

I think you can tell alot about a person without even getting into Skype. The grandpa unearthed himself as a bit of a weirdo within just 2 or 3 emails. Not much effort.

Sorry about your hips. That sounds more painful than an ankle and much harder to ice.

Do you think any of my entries on my blog are funny?

I have to be honest, I don't mind keeping in touch with you as pen pals and casually meeting someday, but I wouldn't be able to stop myself if I met someone out here, something which I keep hoping will happen.

I do agree with you, often the first few words on the phone have been enough to let me know that I didn't feel comfortable enough with someone to follow through with meeting them. (But I was thinking that sometimes you don't even need that!)

Take care,
D

------------------------
Message: Hi D,

I am searching for a woman who is sincerely searching for a husband. I believe from your last letter that you are not ready for marriage. If one is uninterested in developing communication, nothing will happen. Hiding behind words on a screen is easy. As with many Christian girls on single-sites, there may be a longing but little reality congruency. I leave you at your dream-world, D.

If you believe in God´s possibilities, then you will contact me by speaking.

Kindly,

Tor
----------------------------------

It couldn't possibly be that there's something creepy and weird about him, could it?

Of course, part of his motivation for getting out of Sweden has to do with persecution of Christians. Although the persecution of Christians saddens me, I don't want to be personally involved in a romantic way when there are so many red flags. He also mentioned none of this in his letters to me. There was alot of pressure and a sense of urgency which I didn't share.

I'm ready for a relationship with the right person. Something just didn't feel right. Alot of things didn't feel right. I've learned to trust my feelings.





More Dirty Old Men

So I wore a purple dress that showed a little cleavage. Is that so wrong?

Actually, to be honest, I kind of didn't care what anyone thought of me because I had just had a date with a guy I like. The purple dress was really for him.

I went to a progressive dinner where we had people of all ages. I was having a good time laughing, joking around and singing at the table. I also showed off my halloween costume by passing around my cell phone. Some of the guys seemed interested in this. "I'll bet it's something really sexy." Ummm...well, actually it was me as a man!



Perhaps I had been too cute when I asked, "So, you guys have been moving from table to table together, can you introduce each other?" They did. One guy was in construction--something about cranes and multimillion dollar sites. He lives near me and went to a rival high school. The one that gave me his card is loaded. He owns several restaurant chains and sells franchises. He's also old. "Wow, you have a really beautiful voice. I love your laugh." Something about having that voice in his bedroom came right after. "Look, you made her blush!" exclaimed one of the other girls. Wouldn't you know it, the oldest guy there took out his card and handed it to me in front of everyone. "Give me a call sometime. I'll take you out and I'll show you a really nice time." I put the card on the table. How do I get out of this one?

After the dinner, a group of us decided to get some drinks at another place. One of the guys was named Bill, so I sang "Come on and marry me Bill!" I love oldies, just not old men. Ising when I'm happy and I love to dance. Someone asked, "Do you dance when you vacuum?" "Of course I do! And I sing, too. I'm a domestic diva!"

Another Geezer who is a "consultant" asked, "Why don't you come vacuum at my place?"

"What kind of girl do you think I am? I don't just go around vacuuming for every guy!"

Next thing I knew, everyone was saying goodnight and I was alone with him. I guess he likes saucy girls. He started bragging about his car and invited me to go do something fun. "My car can go 150."

"Will you let me drive it?"
"You're not going to crash it are you?"

We walked hand in hand to his car--I couldn't wait to drive the thing. Holding hands with him was maybe a dumb move.

"So, do you have kids?"
"I have one. She's 30."
"I'm your daughter's age."
"Good. Then we're fine for dating. I only date girls that are between 25-35."
"Why not older?"
"They don't like to do fun things like the young ones."
"I don't know if I agree. I knew this lady in her 50s, she was hot and alot of fun."
"I would have to disagree."
"No really, she rode a Harley and had great legs. She worked for my optometrist."

I got the car up to 100 before I started freaking out a little. I missed the place where we were going to turn around and go back. Next thing I knew, he was asking for more. "We're already halfway to Vegas, why don't we just go there?"
I laughed. "No."
"What's to stop us?"
"I'm not that kind of girl. I don't vacuum for just anyone."
"We can get separate rooms. Don't you like Vegas?"
"I don't gamble."
"I don't either. I just like to go and have fun and drop $400,000."
Tempting. "Are you sure you don't want to go?"
"I would have to stop at home."
"What's at home that we can't buy in Vegas?"
"Things."
"What kinds of things?"
"Personal things."
"What kind of personal things?"
"That's personal." (Let's see, thyroid medicine, antidepressants from dealing with my horrible love life...actually I went on them after a concussionjacked up my brain. In other words, none of his damn business. Oh wait, he probably wanted to hear something kinky!)
"Why don't you just take me to your place?"
"No." (I make the ooooooo really long.)
"That wasn't the right answer."
"What do you mean? I said no."
"You were supposed to say yes."
I was thinking, yeah right. Actually, it might have been a great way to get rid of him since my place is a complete national disaster area.
"No." Ha ha. Giggle. This guy is really annoying.

We turned around finally.
"So where are we heading?"
"Back to my car."
"Why don't we go to my place first. I'll take you back to your car in the morning."
"No. I go really slow."
"Are you sure? I'm just 6 miles that way."
"Come on. I'll show you a really nice time."
"You're very persistent."
This wouldn't be a good time to tell him that I have very little experience in that department. I'm sure he'd be very patient and understanding. Yuck.

Then he started telling me about his last relationship with a 30 year old. She got pregnant. He told her he didn't want any part of it. She had an abortion. They had an agreement. No marriage, no kids.

"This is your last chance. All you have to do is turn to the left."
"I told you I don't vacuum for just any guy."
"I'm not any guy. I'm THE guy."
"Unless I want to get married and have a family."

You'd think that would have shut him up. But he was talking from his pants. Why on earth would he think he's offering anything I want? Oh, maybe it was the Grey Goose and cranberry.

I pulled up next to my car. "Listen, if you ever want to go to Vegas, just let me know. I'll take you. Just give me a call." I was thinking up fake numbers. I should have given him a mouthful of cheek, but I let him kiss me so I could make a clean getaway. It was a terrible kiss. Forceful.

"You don't think I'm going to let you walk back to your car by yourself, do you?"
"It's right next to this one." Giggle. This guy was on my last nerve.
"Goodnight." I slipped in my car and drove off as fast as I could thanking my lucky stars that he hadn't given me his card and hadn't asked me for my number.

Clearly this purple dress is very dangerous.